You Mean More to Me Than Words Could Ever Say

As Gerard and I pulled back the covers, I saw my hand shake slightly. I was nervous and I could tell that Gerard felt awkward about sharing the bed with me. However neither of us said a word and just crawled into the bed.

His sheets were silky, smooth, and inviting.

"Fuck, it's hot." He said as he laid under the blankets. He kicked around the sheets a little bit, before sighing out in frustration and getting back up.

"What are you doing?" I asked him. Gerard turned his head around to look at me over his shoulder as he slid off his sweatpants, and for some reason I thought the look he gave me was incredibly sexy.

"I'm way too hot for clothes. I usually sleep in my boxers, well, a lot of times naked cause these sheets are so damn soft, but I put clothes on so you wouldn't feel awkward. But I just can't. I'm not used to it." I half smiled and twirled the sheets around my finger.

"It's cool. I usually do too. I don't care." He nodded.

"Well, if you want to be more comfortable and just wear boxers, I don't care." I felt my heart start to beat a little faster. There was no way I was stripping down. I have such a stocky, odd body.

"No, no." I blurted. "I-I'll be good, Gee." He pulled his t-shirt over his head and then raised an eyebrow at me. I checked out his body for a few seconds, seeing he had a fairly small frame, with just a slight little bit of pudge on his belly and hips. His skin was milky white just like his face, it was flawless and looked incredibly smooth. He had no hair on his chest, but the slightest little happy trail that wasn't noticable. I found the little line of hair extremely enticing. Basically, I liked everything that I saw.

"Are you sure? Cause-"

"I'm fine. Really." He looked at me wildly due to my quick and panicked sounding responses. He stood there for a second, scratching the back of his head.

"It's because I'm gay." Gerard said flatly. I immediately shook my head.

"Gee, no. I promise you. It has nothing to do with that." He looked at me unbelievingly. I decided to admit the reason why.

"I'm self conscious alright?" Gerards jaw looked as if it fell slightly, and his eyes stared into mine, big and round.

"Frank, are you serious right now?" I didn't answer.

"You have nothing to be self conscious about." I just gave a small smile that faded quickly. When I didn't respond, Gerard came over and sat next to me, placing his hand on my inner thigh, merely inches away from my crotch. He didn't seem to realize, but I definitely did.

"Frank, you're gorgeous."

I felt my cheeks grow warm, and I could tell he noticed me blushing from the way he smirked. He squeezed my thigh roughly for a few seconds, before turning over and laying under the sheet, facing the other way. I was thankful he didn't press me to take my clothes off, and for the fact he turned away, because I now had a visitor down below just from Gerards slight touch. I couldn't get rid of it either, because thinking about why it arrived made me think of my daydream in the shower.

As I laid next to Gerard, knowing he was awake, alive and gay, I wished I could just roll over and slide an arm around his waist, pressing my body against his, rolling my hips into him as I kissed his neck. I pictured myself trailing my tongue down his body, and gripping his boxers with my teeth, slowly pulling them down...

But I had to stop these thoughts. Gerard was with Ryder.

Early on, I thought it was insane how I had feelings for a boy. But now I had gotten used to it. It no longer shocked or scared me. It felt natural to me, even if it doesn't seem natural to many other people. I had come to terms with it.

Just then my phone beeped, letting me know I had a text. Gerard jumped a little and I giggled slightly, but in my short little hiccup laugh. He looked over at me and smiled.

"I swear, I just can't; that laugh gets me every time." I smiled at him and got up, grabbing my phone seeing it was my mom who texted me. She simply asked if I made it to my aunts and uncles okay.

"Who texted you?" Gerard asked.

"My mom, asking if I made it to Georgia okay." I said as I responded to her message. He just laughed and shook his head. I placed my phone down and slid back into the bed. As I got comfy and closed my eyes, I started to realize I wasn't tired at all. Suddenly I heard Gerard shift closer to me.
I looked over at him just as he reached over and placed his hands on my side, tickling me once again. I tried to hold back my laughter, but once he started tickling my thighs I lost it.

"G-Gerard! Gee! Stooop!" I yelled. He just cracked up and continued.

"Come on! Geeeeeeeeee!" Just then Mikey yelled from his bedroom telling us to go to sleep.
We both looked at each other wildly before giggling.

"I couldn't help it!" He said. I smiled at him and he just laughed. As I looked at him, I felt like a little kid. I felt like I was five years old again. I was giddy, hyper, and bursting with random happiness. I felt like I was having a sleep over with my best friend and we were trying to refrain from being yelled at, but we both were to hyper to shut the hell up. It was the late night rush of energy and hyperness you get with your friends when you're trying to fall asleep. I loved the feeling. Gerard had the same feelings displayed on his face. His eyes lit up with simple joy and contentment, and he looked like a little kid with the way he goofily smiled.

"Frank, does your heart ever beat so fast and hard, that you feel as if your whole chest is just pounding?" I looked at him genuinely.

"Yeah." I murmured. He nodded.

"It feel like my heart is fucking the shit out of my lungs." I just laughed at him and scruffed his hair.

"Dipshit." I said. He made a fake, shocked face and rolled over, pretending to be mad.

"Fuck you." He said, stifling a laugh.

"If you insist, but I don't have lube or protection." Gerard rolled over opened mouthed and looked at me like I was crazy. I smirked.

"I don't need any of that. I'm all about dry and dirty." He replied, stealing my smirk right off of my face and replanting it on his own.

"Slut." I joked.

"Cock holster." He fired back.

"What the...?" He just laughed and closed his eyes, suddenly a serious expression on his face. I waited for him to say something but he didn't. I closed my eyes as well, letting my head sink into the pillow as I tried to let sleep overtake me but it refused. After about ten minutes, I felt Gerard poke my cheek.

"Frankie?" He whispered. I smiled before opening my eyes, sighing playfully.

"Yes, Gee?"

"I'm not tired. " He said.

"Neither am I." I answered. He laid on his side and propped his head up with his hand, simply looking at me not saying anything. I wanted to ask 'What?' but nothing came out. Instead we just stared into each others eyes a little while.

"This is so weird." He suddenly said.

"What do you mean?" I asked him. He had a slight look of concentration on his face before replying quietly.

"That we've gotten so close in only a little over a month or so. I feel like I've known you for longer." I knew exactly what he meant.

"Yeah. It's weird. But a good weird." I said smiling lopsidedly. He suddenly half turned and scooted closer to me, pulling down the sheet a little and laying his head on my stomach, facing me. I laid there frozen and shocked but said nothing. He kept his hands together, between his legs that were curled up. I looked down and studied his face, and the way he cheek squished against my stomach.
It was adorable.

"If you're uncomfortable..." He said, trailing off. I shook my head.

"No, this... is nice." He murmured 'okay' before yawning. Seeing him yawn made me, and I felt a bit tired at that moment. He closed his eyes slowly, and I mimicked the action.

"Goodnight." He whispered.

"Night."

After a little while, we drifted off into a comfortable sleep.

It was the best sleep I'd had in a long, long time.