Don't You Ever Forget About Me.

I woke up with two thick blankets wrapped around me. Everything was so cold and it hit me I never got to even wake up next to Andy a last time, it just ened right as he got home. I groaned and buried my head in my pillow trying to get away from the horrible pain, it was overwhelming. I wanted to scream my lungs out so I would run out of breath and possibly die, it would be such a relief right now.

I stayed in bed for hours, not bothering to get up until Kellin walked in with some food for me. I only took a few bites from it cause it felt like my stomach would turn itself inside-out anytime soon. I've never felt this weak and useless in my life, actually I did feel worse this summer after my parents died. And with that thought everything came crashing down on me, I couldn't run into my mothers arms and let her comfort me like many times before days after school. I was never the popular kid, I was mostly the loner who many liked to bully and pick fights with. I did only have Derrek with me sometimes but also Katelyn, my friend who turned into quite the bitch and yeah you know the story. I started down at my middle finger and my anchor tattoo who Derrek had as well... I buried my face into my pillow, collected myself then managed to get dressed in a pair of dirty skinny jeans, a big comfy knitted sweater then ran downstairs. I just had to get out of the house for a while. I put on a beanie, my winter jacket and a pair of combat boots then walked outside putting my hands in my pockets, I should have brought gloves shouldn't I? Too late now since I was going to the small path into the forest a bit from the house I found some years ago when Kellin and I was exploring one summer. There wasn't that much snow but it was maybe close to four inches so it was enough for me. I continued to walk until I couldn't hold everything in anymore as I glanced down at my middle finger again. It was all too much to handle, a human should have to carry this much... not in such a short time at least. It's been about six months since my parents died, since then I've broken up with two boys I never thoughts I would stop loving and lost so much weight, and started smoking again... Why did I have to be so naïve? I sat down on a snowy rock ignoring the fact I would get cold, that was the least of my problems right now. I started searching my pockets after my packet of cigarettes and the lighter. I put one between my lips and lightened it and slowly enjoyed it while closing my eyes. I opened them again and smiled to myself, from now on I would actually live my life. It wouldn't get better with me sulking over my troubles.

-The next day-

I got dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans and a sheer grey collared shirt with open shoulders. I looked at my naked feet, would I go for high heels even if I was unusual in them... no I think I'll just go for Vans like always. I heard a soft knock on the door and Kellin stepped in. We were going to a party and I had pretty much forced myself to act simple and cool about it. I had my suspicions Kellin would bring the band just to make sure Justin and I would be friends again, he hates fights and conflicts... I sighed and nodded my head grabbing my black converse instead of vans, if you always does the same you'll get the same result every time. We walked down the stairs and right I was, there stood all of Sleeping With Sirens... only one member less. I bit my lip, I was disappointed, sad, angry and relieved. "Come on let's go" Jesse shouted and I laghed while putting on my shoes. Gabe stood beside me and chuckled down towards me. I glared up at him but I couldn't hide my little smirk, Gabe and I always mocked and joked with each other.
"You're really going to wear converse to a damn club?" I nodded and stood up straight.
"Fuck yeah" I replied and smiled. We all walked out the house and I managed to hug Aunt Alice goodbye as we passed her on our way to the cars.
"Well you're not getting laid tonight" he sang and earned laughs from everyone and a angry stare from Kellin. Oh you would murdur Andy if you knew Kellin...
-
We decided me and Gabe would go in his car and the rest of the guys in Kellin's car. Me and Gabe shrugged our shoulders and got in his car. The club we were going to was about 40 minutes away, what the hell would we talk about?
"Sorry about that comment by the way" Gabe said after a few minutes of silence. I laughed lightly and shook my head.
"No worries Gabe, I wasn't planning on getting laid anyways, I just... I just wanna forget all the shit tonight" I sighed and leaned back my head. Gabe sighed as well and gripped the steering wheel a bit tighter then loosed the grip back to normal.
"I'm sorry about all that Nix..." he said soft, as if the words could cut me. I shook my head and bit my lip, stay calm Nix, everything's fine.
"It alright... we both, fell out of our little love phase" I replied and the silence grew larger and larger until you could cut in it. Gabe coughed and then decided he should just mess with me to make me feel a little better, just like he always does.
"So why not try to get laid tonight? Staying virgin your whole life are we little miss innocent?" he said and I laughed out loud.
"Yeah, funny little story there Gabe" I said and smirked towards him, he understood right away.
"Nooo, you didn't!" he gasped and I just laughed, he made me feel better with joking with everything that was bothering me and bringing me down, he was just that kind of person.
"Andy?" I laughed and started to blush, here comes my shy side again... I hate to talk about, sex. See I even hate thinking about it, ugh.
"Damn, I suppose I shouldn't tell Kellin since he will drive across the state and kill that poor boy" Gabe laughed and I threw back my head smiling while laughing as a maniac. I don't understand how Gabe can make me laugh about everything, I was thinking about Andy yet I was laughing. It was nice, to not always feel sad thinking about him since he used to make me this happy just with a smile of his.
"So wait really our little Nix isn't a virgin, damn I was betting on you would turn 25 before you did something. But here we you, still a teenager and all"
"Don't call me a fucking teenager Gabe, I'm soon 20"
"Yeah, what is it? Like two months left?"
"One month and twenty-seven days" I winked and smiled, finally I would get away from the hells of being a teenager.