If It Was Meant to Happen...
It finally happened
With me trying to be as quiet as possible, it just happens to be my luck that I lose my footing and fall inside my wardrobe, making multiple banging noises and one of the doors fly open.
"Dan!!" I hear from the kitchen then the sound of running. He bursts into my room and right to the wardrobe to pull me out. The first thing he does is pull me close and hug me and burst into tears.
"I saw the spilt backpack in the hall and the blood and razor and I-" He stopped, pulled off me, and quickly undid the shirt around my wrist. "Oh god, Dan, why? Why did you do this??" He practically yells in a concerned tone. I couldn't say anything, just harder crying. "Dan. Please tell me why you did this."
"I.. I don't know.." I finally croak out.
"Well, lets get it covered first." He says reaching up into my wardrobe or my first aid kit. Of course he knows where it is and I don't... He pulls out a roll of gauze and wraps it around my wrist a few times before clipping in down. "There has to be a reason you did this..." I see tears welling up in his eyes.
His eyes tell everything. His sorrow. His confusion. It also seems like he feels guilty. He should, this wasn't his fault. It was all mine... I ruined him. I hate myself for putting him through this.
"I just... felt like it would help release the pain..." I struggle to get the words to come out. "It was just impulsive. When i saw the razor, i felt...." My voice started to fade out.
"Felt...?" He slowly asked.
"Felt like I needed it." I start to cry again, and he pulls me in closer. There's a long moment where neither of us say anything. He feels so warm. I feel so safe. I'm guessing this is one of the reasons I love him. He makes me feel safe and secure.
"Dan, you shouldn't have done this..." His voice is shaky. He's crying too.
"I know Phil... I know." He squeezes my arm a bit tighter. I cringe because the pain in unbearable. Why did I do this to myself?
"Dan..." He hesitates. "About the kiss... I'm sorry I made you feel rejected. I was caught off guard and I didn't know how to react... I just needed to tell yo-"
"You're not like that. You always thought of me as just a friend and now that I did what I did you cant look at me the same. You don't know if we could ever be friends again and I should start moving out. I know this was going to go, and I understand. If I was in your position I would feel exactly how yo-"
I feel that warm sensation run through my body. That feeling I love. It feels so right. Phil, he's kissing me. HE actually kissed ME.
"Does this mean....?" I wipe away tears hoping for the answer I want.
"Yes. Dan, I want to be with you. That is all I have wanted for the longest of times. It was so hard for me not to show my feelings around you. I tried to get out as much as possible, to try and make sure you wouldn't find out." Phil let out a sheepish smile.
"Does this mean that we are.... together?" I ask, smiling back slightly.
"I guess," He grabbed my hand and squeezed it a bit. "But we should probably not tell anyone for a bit. It might.. confuse people.." He giggles slightly. I started crying. "Wait, why are you crying again? What did I say?"
"Nothing, you said nothing wrong. I'm just happy. Really, really happy. This is all i've wanted for months and months. I'm just.... so happy." I smile wide and pull myself close to him. He kisses my forehead and I hug tighter. I look him into his eyes. This time I see happiness. Pure happiness. I kiss him once more. Time seemed to stop, making this moment infinite.
"Dan!!" I hear from the kitchen then the sound of running. He bursts into my room and right to the wardrobe to pull me out. The first thing he does is pull me close and hug me and burst into tears.
"I saw the spilt backpack in the hall and the blood and razor and I-" He stopped, pulled off me, and quickly undid the shirt around my wrist. "Oh god, Dan, why? Why did you do this??" He practically yells in a concerned tone. I couldn't say anything, just harder crying. "Dan. Please tell me why you did this."
"I.. I don't know.." I finally croak out.
"Well, lets get it covered first." He says reaching up into my wardrobe or my first aid kit. Of course he knows where it is and I don't... He pulls out a roll of gauze and wraps it around my wrist a few times before clipping in down. "There has to be a reason you did this..." I see tears welling up in his eyes.
His eyes tell everything. His sorrow. His confusion. It also seems like he feels guilty. He should, this wasn't his fault. It was all mine... I ruined him. I hate myself for putting him through this.
"I just... felt like it would help release the pain..." I struggle to get the words to come out. "It was just impulsive. When i saw the razor, i felt...." My voice started to fade out.
"Felt...?" He slowly asked.
"Felt like I needed it." I start to cry again, and he pulls me in closer. There's a long moment where neither of us say anything. He feels so warm. I feel so safe. I'm guessing this is one of the reasons I love him. He makes me feel safe and secure.
"Dan, you shouldn't have done this..." His voice is shaky. He's crying too.
"I know Phil... I know." He squeezes my arm a bit tighter. I cringe because the pain in unbearable. Why did I do this to myself?
"Dan..." He hesitates. "About the kiss... I'm sorry I made you feel rejected. I was caught off guard and I didn't know how to react... I just needed to tell yo-"
"You're not like that. You always thought of me as just a friend and now that I did what I did you cant look at me the same. You don't know if we could ever be friends again and I should start moving out. I know this was going to go, and I understand. If I was in your position I would feel exactly how yo-"
I feel that warm sensation run through my body. That feeling I love. It feels so right. Phil, he's kissing me. HE actually kissed ME.
"Does this mean....?" I wipe away tears hoping for the answer I want.
"Yes. Dan, I want to be with you. That is all I have wanted for the longest of times. It was so hard for me not to show my feelings around you. I tried to get out as much as possible, to try and make sure you wouldn't find out." Phil let out a sheepish smile.
"Does this mean that we are.... together?" I ask, smiling back slightly.
"I guess," He grabbed my hand and squeezed it a bit. "But we should probably not tell anyone for a bit. It might.. confuse people.." He giggles slightly. I started crying. "Wait, why are you crying again? What did I say?"
"Nothing, you said nothing wrong. I'm just happy. Really, really happy. This is all i've wanted for months and months. I'm just.... so happy." I smile wide and pull myself close to him. He kisses my forehead and I hug tighter. I look him into his eyes. This time I see happiness. Pure happiness. I kiss him once more. Time seemed to stop, making this moment infinite.