We Got Older But We're Still Young

I sat curled into a ball as the TV lit up the living room in a blue fluorescent light. It was nearing 4am and I still couldn’t get myself to fall asleep. I watched mindlessly as reality show after reality show played from in front of me.
I got home from the hospital over 7 hours ago and just collapsed onto the couch which is where I continued to remain.

The front door swung open causing me to jerk my head over to the side. I sat back in relief when I saw Leda walking into the house.

“What are you still doing up?” She asked walking over to the TV switching it off.
I widened my eyes in surprise at her. “Hey! I was watching that!” I whined as she crossed her arms looking down at me.
“Don’t you have to go to work tomorrow morning?” She questioned sternly. I looked at her confused, why was she all of a sudden trying to be the responsible one?
“Well yeah, but not until 12!” I complained.
“I don’t care, Go to bed Freddi.” Leda ordered pulling me off of the couch by my arm.
“I don’t mean to be rude…” I started looking her in the eye. “…but you seem pretty, uh, level headed.”
I heard her let out a sort of half laugh while she shook her head. “I just went to a friend’s house. I’m not always drunk or high, Fred…. I’m trying… I am.” She stated sadly turning around walking upstairs.
I smiled softly at her as we walked upstairs. It would be really nice to have an older sister who actually acted like one. If she had a job, stopped doing drugs, didn’t drink all the time, even if she just was around once in a while to keep me company… It just be nice to have the old Leda back.

---

My alarm sounded from beside me causing me to lift an arm tiredly slapping the high pitched beeping off. Sitting up I rubbed hard at my eyes. I hadn’t gotten to sleep last night, I just stared blankly at the ceiling as I watched shadows from outside dance across its pale surface.

I dragged myself down stairs into the kitchen after lazily getting dressed, collapsing onto the stool against the counter.

“Here have some coffee.” Leda said sweetly, placing a mug beside me. I looked up at her confused as she smiled brightly at me.
… She really was trying.

“Do you want a lift to work?” She asked nonchalantly as she swung keys around her finger.
My jaw dropped slightly “You have a CAR!?” I asked half angry. “Where did you get the money to afford a car!?” I exclaimed as Leda looked at me awkwardly taking a couple steps back from the counter.
“Jack bought a new car so he gave me his old one… for free.” She mumbled.
“Your boyfriend gave you a car? He just gave it to you?” I asked trying to keep my composure.
Leda nodded her head with an embarrassed look on her face. There was a thick tension clouding the room, the silence was starting to become slightly awkward.
I started feeling somewhat guilty for getting mad. She really was trying to be a better sister. I watched as she looked at the ground, regretting even bringing the car up.
“What an idiot.” I laughed causing a smile to grow on Leda’s face.
“You know, he never was the brightest crayon in the box... Come on I’ll drop you off at work!” She said practically jumping out of the room and skipping to the door. I liked this Leda better.

---

“I’ll pick you up when you finish, okay?” Leda’s voice sung as she waved her hand happily at me.
I nodded my head as I walked through the front doors of the store.

I stepped past the front counter dropping my bag under the desk and applying a name tag that read ‘Freddi’ to my shirt.

“Hey Andy!” I yelled to my boss from my position as I pulled out a book from my bag placing it in front of me. This shop was always relatively quiet so Andy never had an issue with me reading during work.
“Hi Fred!” his voice called from the back of the store. I saw a head appear over one of the rows of CD’s. “I’m just unpacking some new albums, get yourself settle and uh… do work and stuff.” He trailed off as his head disappeared again down under the row marked ‘Alternative’.

Laughing, I placed my feet on the counter, sitting back and opened my book.

---

“Excuse me, would you be able to help me?” A small voice said. I placed a ripped piece of paper in my book and dropped it on the floor by my feet. I lifted my head to see a young boy whose face was barely reaching over the counter.
“Sure thing, what do you need help with?” I asked sweetly.
“I wanted to know where Blink 182 are, please.” He said scratching his head. I walked around the counter and started walking down a few isles as the little boy trailed behind me.
“Just here.” I said pointing to the marker saying ‘Blink 182’
“Thank you so much!” The kid exclaimed brightly as he picked up their albums looking intently at each one.
I turned on my heel, walking back to the counter.
As I sat down I started overhearing a conversation.

“You said you really wanted to buy some new albums, so pick anything and I’ll get them from you.” A sweet voice spoke.
“No Ma, I don’t want you to buy me anything. I’ll get them myself.” I familiar voice replied.
“Don’t be ridiculous, you don’t have enough money. Just let me buy you something.” The mother reasoned.
“You know I have a job Ma!” The voice said slightly offended.
“Singing at that café is hardly a job.” The mother scoffed slightly.

I snapped my head up seeing Jaime with his mother a couple of isles down. Jaime was standing with his arms crossed looking upset.

“It IS a job. Anyway there are better things you could be spending your money on.” Jaime snarled.
His mother looked up confused. “Like what? What is more important than my son?” She asked causing Jaime to shake his head angrily.
“YOUR DAUGHTER!” He yelled causing the few other customers in the shop to gaze over in their direction.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His mother said as she turned on her heel walking towards the door.

I quickly stepped into the store room to avoid being seen by Jaime or his mother. I had my back to the door as I heard Jaime’s voice call out.
“Hello? Is anyone there?”
Slowly, I stepped back out through the door walking over to the register. I forced myself to smile at him, pretending I didn’t just overhear the conversation that just occurred.

“Is there anywhere you don’t work?” Jaime said trying to make a convincing smile form on his face.
I laughed slightly and I scanned the album he just bought.
“That’s 18 dollars.” I spoke as he fumbled through his wallet handing me the money over in loose change.
“Thanks.” He said quickly turning towards the door. I lifted up my book placing it back on the counter as he started leaving the store.

“Hey Freddi?” Jaime said turning back around to face me. I looked up at him in response waiting for him to speak. “Do you wanna, like go get a coffee or something after you finish?” He asked avoiding my eyes. “I kinda don’t feel like going home at the moment.”
I watched his face sympathetically. I knew that feeling all too well. Wanting to be anywhere but home and with anyone else.
I nodded my head as a look of relief spread across his face.
“I finish in an hour, meet me out the front.” I spoke and Jaime nodded his head.

It’s just a coffee, I repeated in my head. He deserves that in the least right? I guess this could give me a change to figure him out.