We Got Older But We're Still Young

Jaime sat awkwardly on the old wooden bench outside of my work as he waited for me to finish. I was really unsure how I felt about spending time with him outside of school… for some reason I was slightly nervous.

“Fred, your shift is pretty much over.” Andy said popping his head around the corner of the office door. I nodded my head as I picked up my bag.
“Okay, I’ll see you later Andy!”

My eyes re-adjusted to the light as the glare from the close-to-setting sun burned onto my face. I looked over at Jaime as he smiled goofily up at me.
“Ready?”
He stood up running his finger through his hair. “Yeah, I know a place.” He said as he started off down the road. I quickly jogged to catch up to his pace.

---

I sat down at the table as Jaime went to order us some coffees. My eyes wandered around the familiar room until it reached a small outdoor stage… This was the place he performed…
There was currently a girl sitting up playing the piano as people chattered away.

Jaime walked up placing a cup before me. “I don’t know how many sugars you take, so I guessed”
“Thanks.” I said awkwardly pushing my money filled hand towards him.
“It’s okay, I already paid.” He said coolly as I placed the money back in my bag.

My hands rapped themselves around my cup, letting the heat warm up my fingers.
“So you perform here right?” I asked trying to fill my mouth with words before the silence got awkward. Jaime nodded his head softly as his cheeks turned slightly pink.
“That’s really cool.”
Jaime shook his head.
“It’s just something I do to make a few bucks.” He said looking away from my face.
“You’re really good.” I admitted causing his face to turn a darker red.

“Why do you have so many jobs?” Jaime said quickly, changing the subject. My mouth opened to speak, but not a sound came out. Jaime raised an eyebrow watching my face intently.
“I… uh… Just need the money” I mumbled breaking his gaze.
“…for what?”
I wasn’t going to tell him about my parents. For all I know this could be some scheme to get dirt on me and exploit it to the school.
“Just for things…” I mumbled wanting to change the subject. “So what was going on at the music store before?...”
Jaime quickly brought his cup to his mouth taking a long sip.
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean...”

Jaime took a long deep breath .
“…My Ma, sometimes… gets on my nerves I guess. She doesn’t seem to realise how wrong she is about everything and it drives me nuts!” He said clenching his fists.
Instinctively I rested my hand on his supportively. His eyes widened as he looked down at our hands. I swiftly pulled my hand away as my cheeks started to feel hot.

“What are your parents like? I’m sure they’re better than mine.” Jaime said scoffing at his own words.
I could feel myself wanting to break down at the mention of my parents. I pulled my cup to my lips ensuring myself that I would not cry. Jaime wasn’t going to get to see that part of me.
“They… um. They actually passed around 6 years ago.” I stated as Jaime’s face dropped.
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” He whispered as I shook my head sincerely.
“It’s fine, really.”

A small girl walked up to our table with a frantic look on her face.
“Jaime, thank god you’re here! Our pianist had to leave for a couple minutes and now we don’t have an act. I know you’re not working today, but could you please go up and play something. PLEASE!” She raced.
An awkward look spread on Jaime’s face.
“I’m kind of in the middle of something.” He said quietly pointing towards me. The girl lifted her eyes as her mouth moved into the shape of an O.
“It’s not like that.” I added quickly, diminishing all assumptions. “It’s okay Jaime, go up.”

Jaime stood up from his seat and walked awkwardly to the stage with the guitar that the girl thrust towards him.

I watched as he awkwardly sat down tuning the guitar. I still couldn’t fathom how this awkward Jaime was the same Jaime who couldn’t sit still in class. Was one of them an act? Which one?

“I wrote this song about someone really important in my life, she’s not in a great state at the moment.”

Everybody in the café stopped what they were doing and turned their heads towards Jaime as he started strumming his guitar.

“And i just fell in the deep end, like a lush without her weekend
but i wrote this for you kid. its not what i wanted, i need it.
but man its a long trip, from all the crazy things I've seen in this world
I'm blessed, I guess.
but what if i was a secret, and you couldn't keep it.
and i swear i saw something good in your eyes before.
and if i sang it in the right key and i asked you politely
for you to find a way home.
i find it difficult to sleep when all the walls they just seem to speak to me.
and its kind of funny that i laugh because my hearts so fucked up
i can barely stand the sights and sounds of the cars outside, the red and greens on the traffic lights. the only thing i got is this, the only thing i want is this...
memories that make me smile, a girl to stand there so she can admire the way i
can never ever really keep my hands to myself. but the alcohol it taste so sweet, when its mixed with lies and defeat of all the battles i lost and lost again.

but what if i was a secret, and you couldn't keep it.
and i swear i saw something pretty in your eyes before.
and if i sang it in the right key and i asked you politely
for you to find a way home.
but what if you were the secret, and i didn't see it
and i swear to god i wish these thoughts of mine
could create the sunshine as beautiful as your eyes
I'd paint this night sky.
and its not like you need this, i just wanted you to see it
tonight.”

I stared at Jaime as he smiled down at the clapping audience. That smile was so… forced…

---

Jaime sat down in the chair in front of me as the pianist sat back down up on the stage. People at the tables around us kept staring at Jaime. Their expression was one you would see on a twelve year old girl if she was around her favourite band.

“Wanna get out of here?” Jaime asked awkwardly.
I nodded my head and followed him out of the café.

---

“Was that song about Delilah?” I asked as we walked through the darkening park.
“Partly.” He spoke awkwardly. “It’s kind of about everything…mostly Delilah.”

“You’re really different.” I spoke as he turned his head to me as a questioning look printed itself on his face.
“At school you’re this jerk that doesn’t ever shut up but like right now, you’re really… I don’t know… a decent person.”
Jaime chuckled under his breath.
“I guess you’ve never had to blend in with other guys huh?” He said raising an eyebrow playfully causing me to laugh.

“Guess not.”