The Reckless and the Brave.

Two weeks, that’s how long I was able to keep myself from seeing Summer. I wondered how she felt after I didn’t show up last week. Was she sad, hurt, angry? Would she even want to see me after I broke my promise. Probably not, I mean she hadn’t snuck out to see me either, so I figured she didn’t want to see me.

I missed her. I missed her so much it hurts and I can’t stop thinking about her either. It’s like everything I do or say reminds me of her. I was in the music room right now, a guitar laying next to me. I was sitting on the floor, leaning against one of the windows. I wish I could talk to someone about this, about my addiction, about Summer, someone other than the doctors or my friends. I sighed, I wish I could talk to Bailey. Bailey, who always knew what to do, no matter how bad the situation got. I know for a fact that if rolls had been reversed she wouldn’t have ended up disappointing all the people she loved and cared about. She would have tried to move on without me and she would survive. I buried my face in my hands. She didn’t deserve to die, she was a stronger and better person than me, she should have been the one alive, not me.

A few sobs escaped and I closed my eyes. Slowly I started to drift away until I was sleeping against the window.
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I was jolted awake by someone calling me name. I opened my eyes and saw I was still in the music room. I could hear someone calling my name. I scrambled up from the floor and started walking towards it. I wasn’t sure where I was going, but I was going with my gut.

Finally I reached the place the voice seemed to be coming from, the common room in the South Wing. I opened the door, expecting to see Summer on the couch, but instead of her brown curls I was faced with a blond figure. The girl was sitting in Summer’s spot, a guitar in her lap, her long blond hair hiding her face from me.

“Hello?” I said, a little unsure. The figure placed the guitar on the floor and turned to face me. “Bailey!?” I gasped when her blue eyes met mine. “Hello Alex.” She smiled at me. “How… what.. you’re dead.” I stammered. “Is this a dream….” I wondered out loud. Bailey shrugged. “Perhaps.” She motioned to the couch. “Come, sit down.” I inched my way towards her, wondering what was going on.

I sat down next to her and for a second my hand hovered over hers. Slowly one of my fingers caressed her hand. I could touch her. She was real, she was Bailey and she was here. Before my mind could catch up with my actions I slammed my lips against hers. We kissed for a little while, but eventually she pushed me away. “Alex, we need to talk.” I could see the tears in her eyes.

She took my face in her hands. “Why Alexander, why? Do you have any idea how much you’ve hurt the people you love? Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to see you slowly drink yourself to dead?” She was crying now. I pulled her in a hug. “I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry. I just… I didn’t know what to do without you, I was lost, I couldn’t….” I didn’t know what else to say.

“But I’m better, I really am. I promise.” Bailey nodded. “I know, I’m glad. But please stop blaming yourself, please.” She pleaded. “It’s not your fault Alex, it’s no one’s fault. Promise me you’ll forgive yourself.” I kissed her again. “I promise, I swear. I’ll stop, I don’t want to throw my life away anymore.” Bailey smiled. “Good, because Summer needs you.”

I froze. “You know… You know about Summer?” “I do Alex and I know how much she needs you. I’m not saying you should forget about me, but you need to move on. Summer needs you and you need her. Go to her Alex, help her.” “How?” I begged. “I want to, but I don’t know how!” “You’ll find out soon enough Alex, just don’t give up on her okay?” Bailey insisted. “I won’t.” I said.

Summer looked at the window. The sun was slowly starting to rise. “I have to go.” She said, her voice breaking a little. “I’m sorry Alex, but I have to leave now.” She stood up and walked towards the door. “No! No, please, just stay for one more minute. Please.” I begged. “Please just let me hold you, just for a minute.” And I pulled her in another kiss.

She whimpered, made a few noises that sounded like protests, but did kiss me back. After a few minutes I let go of her reluctantly. “I’m not gonna see you again, am I.” I sighed. Bailey smiled, but it was a sad one. “No, I’m afraid not. You have to go on without me. It wouldn’t be right to keep lingering in past memories.” I nodded, I didn’t like it, but I couldn’t do anything but except it. “I love you.” I said, giving her one last kiss. “I love you too Alex, always.” And with those last words she disappeared through the door.

I wanted to go after her, but I heard someone calling my name, again. Only this time it didn’t sound like a soft whisper. It sound more like a shout, an urgent one. I spun around trying to figure out where it had come from. “Alex! Alex!...

“Alex, wake up.” My eyes snapped open and I came face to face with Cindy. I was still a bit dazed by the dream I just had. I blinked a few times. “Alex.” Cindy shook me gently. “W-what.” I murmured, my voice thick with sleep. “Alex wake up.” Then I realized there was a rushed, almost panicky edge to her voice.

“I’m awake, what’s wrong.”I asked, now fully conscious. “You have to came with me Alex.” Cindy said, pulling me to my feet. “What’s going on.” I asked as she lead me through the hallways. Her answer made my heart stop. “It’s Summer.”