The Reckless and the Brave.

The next 3 weeks passed slowly. Every day was the same as the one before. It were those few hours a day I spend with Summer that made it bearable. Mandy was doing amazing, her relationship with Jack had a very positive influence on her. If she kept that up she was allowed to leave in two weeks. She and Jack had had a few serious conversations about what they were going to do once she got out of the clinic. Jack had insisted she and Ben should move in with him, but Mandy had her doubts. It wasn’t until after consulting with Dr. Samantha and a promise from Jack to do everything is his power to help her get custody of Ben she agreed.

It was 2 o’clock again and I was on my way to see Summer. In the 3 weeks after I’d started giving her guitar lessons nothing things hadn’t really changed between us. We still didn’t ‘talk’ much and I tried to be as professional and distant as possible. Summer was never going to trust me and I didn’t want to become too attached to someone I’d never see again once I got out.

As always Summer was already waiting for me to show up. We usually left the guitar in the room seeing apart from us two no one ever used it. Most of the time I’d find her on the small couch, already practicing.

But today she wasn’t. Summer was in her usual spot on the couch, but the guitar was still in the corner. I pick up the guitar and wanted to hand it to her, but she refused and motioned to the seat across from her. I sat down with the guitar in my lap. She handed me a piece of paper. Are you still mad at me for what I said about the rock star thing? “What? No, of course not.” I said surprised. “We’re cool. Come on, let’s start.” But Summer shook her head. Because it seems like you don’t want to do this and I don’t want to force you. So if you want to stop with the lessons I’ll understand.

I sighed and put the guitar down on the ground. “I like doing this okay, it makes me feel… useful. Like I’m not just wasting my time here.” Summer slowly nodded, but still refused to take the guitar from me. I sighed and started playing a random song. Sometimes Summer liked to just listen to me instead of playing herself.

I was halfway through the song when a piece of paper landed on my lap. You remind me of my brother. I looked up at her. “Really? How so?” He used to be like you, before…. things happened. When he played guitar he could get lost in the music, just like you. He was always so… happy and cheerful. That’s why I want to learn so badly. I want to be happy … and feel closer to my brother again. I could see a few tears roll down her cheeks and I was suddenly overcome by an incredible urge to kiss her tears away.

I shook my head to get rid of the thought. What was wrong with me? I wasn’t falling for her was I? Of course not, how on earth could I fall in love with a girl who distrusted most people so much she refused to be within two feet of them.

“What happened?” I asked softly. He died. “I’m sorry.” I said. It’s okay, it was years ago. “That doesn’t make it any easier or less painful.” Believe me, I know. “Alright,” I said. “let’s continue than.”

Can we talk maybe? Please? I gave her a surprised look, not expecting something like this at all. “Uhm sure.” I’m sorry if I’ve been…. cold to you, but you have to understand how difficult this is for me. “Okay.” I figured that, maybe, I should listen to Dr. Samantha for once and give you a chance. I chuckled at her blunt confession. Can you tell me about your band? “Sure, what do you wanna know?” I said. Everything
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And that was how Summer slowly started to open up to me. At first we divided our time equally between playing guitar and talking, mostly about little things like the weather or a book she’d read. But as the days passed we started talking more and more until there was no time left for her to practice the guitar. But even though we only talked now Summer still sat across from me, never next to me on the couch. Also the conversation were shallow, we never talked about why either one of us was here. I told her stories about the band and she in return told me about her favorite books and the few movies she’d seen.

Today was Saturday, Amanda’s last day. Jack and the guys were coming for a visit and she was going to go home with Jack when they left.

I wrapped my arms around her. “I’m gonna miss you.” Mandy said, her voice muffled by my shirt. “I’ll miss you too, thinks are gonna be a whole lot less…. eventful without you here.” I chuckled. “And I’ll probably be more lonely when you’re gone.” “I know, but you still got Summer to talk to right?” She said, lifting her head to look at me. “That’s not the same.” I said. Mandy nodded, knowing I was getting a little frustrated because my attempts to get Summer to open up to me failed every single time.

“She’ll tell you eventually Alex.” Mandy reassured me. “Give her time.” I smiled. “I will.” Suddenly I got tackled to the ground and because I was still holding Mandy she fell on top of me. I lifted my head to see Jack grinned stupidly at us. “Hey, let go of my girl Gaskarth.” He laughed. I pushed him away and helped Mandy up. “You’ll get her in a minute. You get to take her home with you so I’m not letting her leave without a proper goodbye hug.” I chuckled, wrapped my arms around Mandy’s waist again, crushing her against my chest.

“Aleeex!” Jack whined. “Let me just give her a kiss to say hello.” I laughed and let go of Mandy, who jumped into Jack’s arms. “Get a room!” Rian laughed. “Hey Ri, hey Zack.” I said, hugged my two other friends. “I hope you’re prepared for the trip back home with those two.” I said, gesturing to Jack and Mandy, who were still kissing. “Yep, one goes in the front seat, the other in the back seat. No way I’m gonna let them anywhere near each other as long as we’re in the car.” Rian said dead serious.

We all laughed at the disappointed look on Jack’s face. Mandy quickly kissed his cheek. “Just wait until we’re get to your house baby. Once we’re there we can…..” The rest she whispered in his ear so we couldn’t here. Jack face lit up and he kissed her again, causing all of us to laugh even harder.
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They had to leave again way too soon for my liking. Zack, Mandy and Rian were already on their way to the car, but Jack pulled me aside for a minute. “Alex, we need to talk.” He said, very serious, which was very unlike him. “Are you breaking up with me?” I tried to joke, but Jack stayed serious. “Why didn’t you tell us?” He asked. “Tell you what?” I was getting really confused. “We found out last week what happened to her.” I froze, now fully aware what he was referring to. “You should gave told us, we could have helped you. We…” “Get out.” I said, my whole body shaking. “Alex, please…” “I said, get. Out.”

Jack took a step back. “Alex, don’t. I know Bailey wouldn’t….” When her name fell from his lips I snapped. “GET OUT!! GET THE FUCK OUT!!! DON’T YOU EVER SAY HER NAME AGAIN! LEAVE! GET OUT!” I screamed, but instead of waiting for him to leave I stormed out of the room myself.
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I didn’t come out of my room for three days. I refused to eat and I was closing myself off again. I heard Cindy talk about extending my stay if necessary, but I didn’t care, I just wanted a drink. No, I didn’t really want a drink, I wanted to forget and I knew from experience alcohol could do that.

It was late, around 3 a.m., but I couldn’t sleep. I was standing in front of the small window, staring at the moon. I pressed my hands against the wall and bowed my head, trying to keep myself from punching a hole in the wall.

Suddenly I felt a tap in my shoulder and I jumped. I whirled around and came face to face with… “Summer! How…. What….” I stammered. How did she get here? What was she doing here?
She held up a small silver key that was hanging on a necklace around her neck.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just haven’t seen you in days and when I asked Cindy where you were she wouldn’t answer me, so I decided to go look for you myself. “How?” I stammered. “Why?” I have the key to my room, stole it from mom once, that’s how I got out that night you found me. “Oh.” I wasn’t sure what to say. I was suddenly very tired and I just wanted to be left alone. “Why are you here Summer?” She blushed furiously, something I’d never see her do before.

When you didn’t show up I got… worried. I thought maybe something was wrong or that you’d left without….. “Without what?” Without saying goodbye. She refused to look at me as she showed me the last part. I stared at her in amazement. “You care?” I don’t know! I’ve never felt like this before! when you didn’t show up I got worried and sad and angry and… She stopped writing. I thought you didn’t care about me and when I realized that I cared!

Her pen hovered over the note book for a moment. But that’s not why I’m here. What’s wrong? Why weren’t you there? I sighed and sad down on the bed. “Bailey.”