Waves

When I got to my destination I wasn't surprised to see that it was closed. Still I got out and banged on the door. I waited a few seconds and then banged again. This time I heard the rustling of feet. The door opened and I stood waiting for anything.

"Holy shit," said Tristan. He looked at my blue, purple, and black appearance. Just hearing his voice made me break down again. I was so pathetic. I let the tears fall freely from my face. "What the hell has he done to you?" he asked. His grey blue eyes grew were a mixture of anger and sadness. He lightly pulled me forward so I was inside. I grabbed at him around the neck and held tight, pressing myself into him.

"Help me. I don't know who else to go to," I sobbed. He held me and lightly pulled me to the couch that was set up into a bed. He sat me down and let me cry.

"Shh," he cooed. He lightly rubbed my back, not wanting to hurt me more. When I finally pulled some of my broken composure together, I hiccuped. I usually didnt hiccup unless it was a really bad break down. Guess this could be added to my list. He raised an eyebrow, but let me have some of his water that was sitting on the coffee table. "You wanna talk?" he asked slowly. Did I?

"No," I croaked, "not yet." I pulled myself into his arms and rested my head on his chest. His heart was racing fast and so was mine. He smelled of aftershave and something that I couldn't identify, but I liked it. He let me rest my sore limbs and regain control over my stressed life. "Okay," I said, "I'll talk."

"We'll talk in the morning," he said pulling me down on the couch with him.

"Okay, but one thing," I said a little relaxed, "do you live here?"

"Yeah," he said giving a shaky fake smile. "My parents kicked me out or rather I kicked myself out. They were hooked on drugs. Charlie gave me a place to stay and work. Didn't really need a bed at the time." I looked around at the small TV that had no cable and the tiny kitchen with a island bar for the table. It was small, but at the same time it was cozy.

"I like it," I smiled. I fell asleep soon after from exhaustion.

In the morning I heard the sound of a fryer going and the heat from the oven. I smelled bacon and eggs and that was enough to make me get up. At first I was unaware of where I was and then remembered what happened last night.

"Morning," Tristan greeted on Saturday. He gave me a plate and began turning off all the burners and oven. He put the pans in the sink and pulled a stool so we were sitting across from each other. I ate hungrily and let my taste buds absorb everything. It was good. Really good.

"Damn your a good cook," I said munching on a piece of bacon. He smirked and started on his eggs. Suddenly I felt a pang in my chest. I was a bitch. I set my fork down and sighed.

"Tristan," I said calling him for the first time, "I'm sorry I've been such a bitch to you." He looked up from his meal and his eyes softened.

"Apology accepted," he smiled. "I'm sorry for being an ass and a manwhore in front of you."

"Apology accepted," I smiled back. We continued to eat then. After we finished I helped clean the dishes and put them away.

"So, you want to talk about, ya know," Tristan rambled. I sighed and pulled us so we were sitting on the couch.

"It started three months ago, at the end of October," I began. From there I explained the endless pain and confusion. I didn't think it was something I'd done except for when I tried to leave him. I also confessed my fears about leaving him. Would he kill me? No. He surely would.

"Did he rape you?" he asked. I forgot to mention my sex life, not that I wanted him to know. From my blank expression he could see the truth.

"It's not like I'm a virgin," I said quickly. Too late. His expression grew tense. "I haven't been since the beginning of my junior year. Wait? Why is this important?" I said giving him a skeptical look. Was this a trick? I felt a lump in my throat.

"No, it's just, never mind," he said. He looked defeated for some odd reason. It shouldn't of mattered. Those girls he made out with always made sure to tell everyone how good he was in bed. Not that I cared. Again came that gut twisting feeling. Maybe I did care. "You need to get away from him."

"You said you had answers," I stated, "care to share?"

"Look it's nothing," he said with a grimace.

"Obviously it's something," I said getting angry. Why was he keeping things from me? Hadn't I just told him everything? God he even knew about virginity! Wasn't that enough?

"Okay, okay," he said holding his hand up defensively. "I'll tell you, but really it's not my story to tell," he sighed. "Jason and I used to be best friends back in pre-school and up until ninth grade. Jason was always a troubled kid. He used to pick on girls he liked and it seemed normal until he accidentally broke a girl's arm. That's when he confessed about his mother molesting him. Together we told the school principal and finally his dad. He loved his mother though and something snapped when she was taken away from him. He didn't come to school the following year.

"He came back different and we were friends again. In middle school, he gotten his real first girlfriend. One day she moved and I didn't know why until Jason said he'd hurt her. I told him he needed help, therapy, something, anything. He got mad and we got into a huge fight.

"I wouldn't say we were friends after that. We could talk and be around each other like normal people, but I always knew his secret. In ninth grade I fell for a girl, I was stupid too, but I did. Her name was Sophie and she always knew how to keep me interested. During third quarter I was sick and went to go to the bathroom, but lost my way and stumbled into a janitors closet. I found Jason and her going at it. I was so mad, I snapped," he finished his story and wiped my tears from my face. Jason really was a monster. "Only I know how much of a monster he is. I didn't want that to happen to you. I didn't want you to know."

"I'm sorry," I said, my voice breaking. I hugged him. "You warned me about him," I said recalling the note from the carnival, "and I ignored you."

"You need to get away from him," he said again.

"But he'll kill me if I try," I said.

"No he won't. I won't let that happen," he said gazing into my eyes. I saw protectiveness, caring, and so much more in those grey blue eyes. It made me feel safe. He leaned forward and placed his lips over mine. He kissed gently at first and then a little harder. I felt the passion, longing, and that something I was missing with Jason. It danced on my lips and ran threw my whole body, resting at the pit of my stomach. It was a warm, overwhelming feeling. I slipped my eyes closed allowing myself to feel absolute warmth and love. I pulled away and stared into his eyes. He reached for me and I pulled away.

"I'm sorry," I said, "I can't." But I had. I allowed myself to be alive again and although it made me want to scream with joy, I knew what I just did was wrong. I always thought myself better than my mom. I had never cheated on any man in my life, but today I broke that. I didn't care that Jason beat me. I was still in a sorta relationship with him and I should've honored that. I left and felt my heart breaking at Tristan's sad grey blue eyes. Was this the end? Would he no longer fight for me? Had I chosen Jason over him?