Unravelled

Five hours later – and three shouting matches that may or may not have gotten out of hand – my phone started ringing. “Hello,” I spat into the phone, not even bothering to look at the caller ID.

“What’s up?” Jonny asked cautiously.

“Sorry,” I said, instantly calming down. “Nothing. Just, you know, a lot of stress going on with the business at the moment.”

“Oh, alright. Just wanted to make sure Alana was alright? We’re just getting on the bus now. Don’t know when I’ll be able to call again.”

“Tell the bus driver to drive safe alright? I need you to get back to me in one piece.”

“I’ll let him know,” Jonny replied, laughing. “I’m just a phone call away if you need me okay? Don’t go
stressing yourself out. Not worth it.”

I forced out a laugh. “We’ll talk about it when you get back. Good night! I’ll see you in four days!”

“Can’t wait!”

He hung up the phone and I looked up to see Stefan staring at me. “I was serious when I said I want to meet him you know. If he’s going to be in my son’s life I should at least get that much.”

“Can we decide what life OUR son is exactly going to be living before we start down that road, please?” I muttered. “I’m not moving. You’re not moving. We need something stable because he’s going to be starting preschool next year, Stefan. He can’t be going back and forth constantly. He’s going to need to be somewhere during the school year and then somewhere else in the summer. I think that’s fair and I think I should get him most of the time. I work a hell of a lot less and will actually be with him for the majority of the time.”

“What?! So you get him 10 months and I get him 2? That hardly seems fair, Brynn. And nothing ever happens in the summer! You’ll have him for all the big things!”

“Well we can like, alternate holidays if you want. I mean you could come down here for Christmases and stuff. Whatever. It’d be kind of nice for him to have two parents for the big things like that.”

“Well can I come visit whenever I want?” Stefan asked sadly. “I have the money and I will have time.
Like, come down for a weekend a month or something?”

“Of course!” I cried, exasperated. “I’m not trying to keep him from you! I’m just not leaving Chicago. I’m doing really well here and I like it. You can come see him whenever you want! For fuck sakes if you find a way to be able to move here you can have him for weeks at a time if you want him!”

“Okay,” he whispered. “And just so you know, I’m actually doing to work on that. If I can get a transfer here I’m going to do it.”

“Sounds good to me! Co-parenting will be a lot easier if we’re in the same damn state! But this starts now, okay? He has to get used to being here. We need to get his stuff here. You’re going to have to talk to your mother and fill her in on everything. Divorce and all. You understand?”

“Yeah, I’ll do that when I get back to the hotel. I’m assuming he’ll stay here with you tonight? I understand you probably want to spend time with him.”

“I would like that, yeah. We can figure out what we’re doing with his stuff tomorrow. How long are you here for.”

“I have the hotel booked for the week but no plane ticket bought so it’s open ended. However long it takes to get him settled I guess. How are we going to explain this to him?”

“We’ll figure that out. We have the time. I’m just exhausted now and I feel like he probably is too. Can we just deal with the rest tomorrow?”

“Okay. Yeah. Can I just say bye?”

“Of course!” I went into Alana’s room to find her and Brody cuddled up watching cartoons. “Daddy’s leaving for the night, buddy! You’re going to stay here with Mama. Do you wanna go tell him good night?”

“Yes yes yes!” he exclaimed, jumping down from the bed and running into the living room. I gave Alana a tight grin and followed him out of the room. Watching Stefan say good night to Brody was the biggest wake-up call of the day for me. It was so crazy to see how much better Stefan was doing with him. I could tell he really did love him as a father should and I could already see how hard it was going to be for Brody to say goodbye to him.

Over the next three days we spend our time figuring out the details as well as bringing Brody out around Chicago to show him the sights and somewhat get him used to the area he would be moving to. The night before Jonny got home Stefan and I decided it was as good a time as any to sit Brody down and explain as best we could what would be going on in the next little while.

“So, buddy. You know how me and Daddy aren’t together anymore and you live with Daddy in Cambridge?”

“Yes. I don’t like that because I miss you.”

“I know, hun, and that’s what me and Daddy have been talking about over the last few days when you’ve been with Auntie Alana. What would you think about coming here and living here with me?”

“YEAH!”

“Brody, I won’t be coming with you,” Stefan said softly. “You’ll be staying here just with Mommy. I’ll come visit you lots and lots but it’s going to be Mommy that you’re with most of the time.”

“But,” Brody stuttered out right before the tears started to fill him eyes, “why can’t we all just live together? Like before?”

“Brody, you know all the yelling that happens when Mommy and Daddy are together?” I asked gently. Brody responded by simply nodding his head. “You know how that yelling makes you sad and scared?” Again, a nod. “Well, Daddy and I just have a hard time being together without that yelling, you know? We don’t want to make you sad or scared so we don’t want to yell at each other anymore. The only way to do that is to not live together. I don’t like the yelling either, buddy. That’s why I moved all the way down here. Now you’re going to live with me a lot of the time. Daddy’s going to come down once a month a visit you and you get to go with him all summer!”

“I’m gonna try to get work down here too, Brody! If I can find a job here then I can move here and see you more often!”

“Okay,” Brody said quietly. “Can I go talk to Auntie ‘Lana?”

“Sure, honey. Talk as long as you want but say bye to Daddy because he’s going to go for the night. He’ll be back tomorrow though.”

“Okay. Bye Daddy,” he said with a small wave as he made his way to Alana’s closed door. After he entered and closed the door behind him I turned to Stefan.

“Okay, so Jonny gets back into town tomorrow afternoon. I’m going to go over there and talk to him. By myself. To tell him everything. You will get to meet him if he decided he wants to meet you, okay? He probably isn’t even going to want to have anything to do with me after this bombshell anyway.”

“Well, he’d be a fool to let the both of you. If he gets you and Brody he’s the luckiest guy out there,” Stefan muttered, making his way towards the door.

“Don’t do that,” I snapped. “Stop. He isn’t getting Brody. YOU are Brody’s dad and you will always be Brody’s dad. And stop making those comments about me Stefan. We don’t work. We tried. Stop making it seem like it’s only me preventing us from happening. Neither of us was happy in that relationship.”

Stefan didn’t look back as he closed the door behind him. I stormed over to the door and locked it behind him, sinking onto the floor against it. As soon as I started crying my phone started ringing. I saw it was Jonny and knew I couldn’t just ignore the call.

“Hello,” I got out, trying to sound normal.

“Brynn? Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I muttered, starting to cry all over again. “Jonny, we have to talk.”

“Okay? Talk.”

“I really don’t want to do this over the phone, Jonny. You’re gonna hate me. I should at least see your face when you hear it.” At that moment Brody ran out of the room screaming, “MAMA!”

“What was that?” Jonny asked. “And I’m sure I’m not going to hate you. Please just tell me you aren’t pregnant. Oh my God. Tell me that at least.”

“Well, no. Not exactly,” I muttered, walking over and picking up Brody. “I already have a baby. I have a son, Jonny.”