Feet First

“This is our last song, this is always our last song-“ I began to say into my mic, then Jack cut me off.

“How did we even start that anyway?”

“I think this is the only song that doesn’t suck that most people know.” I laughed.

“And it’s about a stripper, best song ever.” Jack said.

“Well, this is our last song here tonight, you have all been fantastic. We’re All Time Low and this is Dear Maria.”

“I’ve got your picture I’m coming with you, dear Maria count me in.”

I looked into the crowd, seeing this kids in the front singing every note with me and others not
singing and just listening and then those who just came to our set to have fun.

And I was happy.

Happy to be here singing for them, because really, there’s nothing I’d rather be doing.

I realize this every night on stage, while singing this, because my life without music would be so complete shit.

When the last chords were strummed and the last drum beat struck, I grabbed my mic.

“Thank you all so fucking much, we’ll see you next time.”

The crowd screamed and clapped and we threw things into the crowd.

And then it was done.

We all walked off stage and wiped off our sweat with towels, and changed shirts.

We talked about the highlights of that show on our way back to the bus.

“I think there were a lot of boobs at this show, like more than average.” Jack said.

“This is the only job other then porn where you get to see free boobs everyday.” I said, laughing.

We got on the bus, and collapsed on our beds.

After shows everyone was tired as fuck from the heat and playing and the high energy we display on stage.

I thought about when I was going to go talk to Olivia.

I had to, because I needed to apologize.

I didn’t know what I did exactly, but I did something.

Flyzik knocked on my bunk.

“Hey they have a big fire pit on site here so there’s like a giant bonfire tonight most of the bands are going if you guys wanna hang out.”

“What state are we in the has a fucking fire pit at a concert place?” Zack said.

“We’re in Texas.”

“Fuckin’ country fans.” He said.

We all laughed.

“Yeah I’ll go. Do you think Sam and Andrew will be there?” I asked, trying not to be obvious.

“Yeah, Andrew said Olivia asked if you were going.” He said.

“DAMN!” Jack said, in a really obnoxious voice.

Oh, that could either be good or bad.

“It’ll be later after everyone packs up and finishes their sets.”

Good.

I’d talk to her then.

“Wake me up when it’s time to go.” I told him.

Then I rolled over and took a nap, sleeping better knowing that things would be set straight soon.



I awoke to Flyzik shaking me by the shoulders telling me they were leaving t go to the bonfire.

I rolled out of my bed as they were walking off the bus.

I’d fallen asleep in my jeans so I grabbed a jacket and I left.

I walked behind where all the buses were to see a giant fire ring with many log benches lying in a circle around a large fire.

There were people everywhere, some roasting marshmallows, almost everyone was drinking, and there were a few people making out on the outskirts of the firelight.

This is everything that a Warped bonfire should be.

I saw Jack, Evan, Sam and Matt all talking across the fire from where I was standing.

I walked over.

“The girl singer is that-a-way.” Evan said, before I even said hello. “She’s very nice, very lovely.”

He was waving his drink everywhere and his speech was a little slurred.

He was drunk, but mostly everyone was drunk off cheap beer and other alcohol they’d been drinking throughout the day.

I made small talk with Sam and Matt, not just to be polite and not run off to find Liv but, because they were cool guys.

“We had around forty kids watching us today because you talked about us on twitter and at your set yesterday! Forty! That’s more than we’ve had at any other show on this tour!” Matt said.

I smiled, he was so excited and so was Sam.

They kept thanking me.

“Well I got some of them there, but you kept them there with your music. So great job guys.”
The beamed at me.

“I’m gonna go find Liv.” I said. “I’ve got something to ask her.”

They nodded and walked to talk to some girls in another band.

I found Liv sitting with Andrew and a guy who looked my age at a picnic table.

“Hey, can I sit?” I said.

Andrew looked at Olivia to answer.

“Sure.” She said, not looking up at me.

“I’m James, I’m their manager.” He said, shaking my hand.

“I’m Alex.”

We all made small talk for a bit.

Olivia sat quietly and nodded.

She was a quiet girl, but I couldn’t help think that her silence now was because of me.

“I’m gonna get some food.” James said.

“Oh I’ll come with you, I’m starving.” Andrew said. “Liv you want anything?”

“No.” She said.

Andrew gave her a look.

“Liv, you’ve barely eaten today.”

“Yeah, uh, I’ll eat some chips later, just not hungry now. I promise.”

Andrew nodded and they walked away.

“You’ve been awfully quiet.” I said.

“I don’t talk much in general.” She said, tracing patterns with her fingers on the table.

“Well, I’m sorry about last night, if I like, upset you.”

“It’s fine.”

“Can I ask how I upset you?”

“It’s not a big deal. I was just overwhelmed.” She said, still not meeting my eyes.

“Well, it is a big deal because I don’t want to do it again.”

I could hear the annoyance in her voice. “I’m fine. I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Okay. Well I’m still sorry.”

Not knowing what else to say, I got up and walked away.

I knew nothing was better, but there was nothing I could do.

She didn’t trust me.

I knew that much.

But I wanted her to trust me, so I’d have to earn it.

I had a feeling that was going to take some work.

But I was willing.