Chance Encounters

I could feel his hands on my cheek. We were treading dangerous ground now and I knew that, but at the same time, I didn’t care. My lips felt odd, as if they knew what was going to happen before even I had. Luke pulled us into each other and our lips met, this time he was kissing me. It was shocking… but amazing. There were fireworks going off behind my eyes. My lips parted, mostly on their own accord, not that I really minded. His hands traveled down my side and I felt a shiver run up my spine. Where he touched my skin was burning. I tangled my fingers in his hair again. It wasn’t damp now, it was just soft.

I wanted more of him, a lot more, and at that moment the kiss was too tame for me. I licked his lips hoping, maybe partially begging, that he would do more. I NEEDED him to do more. I don’t remember even needing someone like I needed Luke in that moment, and that was slightly terrifying. What if I messed it up? What if he regretted this later? Just because he said he didn’t mind the first one didn’t mean he wouldn’t mind the second time. you should probably stop this Ellie my inner reason pointed out. I was fully prepared to ignore it though. That is until I heard the door close. It wasn’t loud, it was just a click. But I was slightly terrified that Mary would hear.

So slowly, regretfully, I pulled out of the kiss. I was still warm and my heart was beating like the wings of a humming bird. My lips were doing that strange tingly thing that happened after kissing Luke and I bit the bottom one. Looking towards the door really quickly to make sure Mary wasn’t there I looked to Luke. His face looked just as confused and wanting as I felt. I pulled at my hair, I had gone to bed with it wet again earlier and it was in all of its wavy chaos. Leave it to me to feel self-conscious after the kiss. I sat down. I was confused. I didn’t really like being confused.

“What does this make us?” I asked confused. Were we dating? We clearly were attracted to one another but that might not mean a lot.

“Well, we’re not dating.” Luke replied sitting down on the bed. It was a risky move because I still wanted more of him and that just brought him closer, but I doubt he saw it that way. It was almost a stab when he said the words though. It made me feel slightly that he didn’t WANT to be dating me.

“No, we’re not.” I confirmed, adding in my mind, but you could ask me to be…

“And we’re not um, fuck buddies.” I cringed at the terminology friends with benefits would have been such a better title.

“Luke!” I slapped his chest and shook my head, but he smirked at me and I had to try not to smile back. Was that was he wanted to be, Friends with Benefits? I pondered that. What if that was what he wanted? What if that was the way I could get him to be interested in actually dating? I’ll admit it was a bit of an unorthodox idea but sex, or lack thereof, was the end of my last relationship. I wasn’t going to be the reason this one didn’t even get a shot.

“I…I think I am going to head into my room.” Luke attempted to stand up but I grabbed his arm.

“Sleep with me tonight.” Were the words that I heard escape from my lips. I mentally kicked myself. I wasn’t ready for this yet. Though while I was angry at myself I didn’t stop trying. I curled up on the bed and tried to convince him to get himself on the bed.

“You know Mary’s rules.” Luke said being reasonably. I pouted. I never actually pout.

“Please?” I begged subtley fluttering my eyelashes. I heard that was a good way to get boys to talk with, or assist you with, something “She doesn’t have to find out.” I continued.

“Fine.” Luke groaned. WHY WOULD YOU PUT YOURSELF IN THIS POSITION ELLIE! I cried in my head because I knew full well what I was planning on doing next. I crawled under the blankets and so did Luke. I inched closer to him. It was kind of slow at first. “ Uh Goodnight.” Luke muttered. Was he really going to sleep!? No way! Not after I had psyched myself up so much for it. Tonight was going to be it. In my bed, with Luke. I pressed my hips near his, maybe that would distract him long enough.

“Goodnight.” I muttered back definitely not intending to let him sleep for quite a while. I kissed Luke’s lips again. I could tell he was shocked, because frankly my behavior was quite shocking. I moved against him trying to initiate something I wasn’t completely sure I was prepared to initiate. I crawled onto of him straddling his waist and kissing him still.

“Ellie,” He gasped as he pulled out of the kiss I had given him. Im not sure If I was excited or terrified, maybe a combination of both, but I felt a nervous laughter bubbling up inside of me. The only thing I could do to keep myself from going into a type of hysterics was to let myself smile a little bit. I moved my hips slightly still trying to make something happen. I lowered my hands to the end of his shirt. Maybe It would be easier to wrap my head around what was going off if he wasn’t wearing his shirt. He looked really hot without a shirt, it had always put my brain to a dead halt before. Maybe now too. “Are you sure?” Luke asked his voice rough.

It was a very good question for him to ask. Was I sure about what I was doing? Hell no! This was sex! How could you be sure about it? I still held that V card. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to play that either. It wasn’t the right time was it? Was Luke the one….?I looked down at my hands that were still playing at the hem of Luke’s shirt. My cheeks turned red and I shook my head.

“I don’t know.” I answered honestly. “Don’t you want to?” I asked not raising my voice much about a mumble. I still hadn’t made any attempts to remove myself from his waist but I stopped moving.

“Of course I do!” Said Luke. His voice was still kind of rough and low so he cleared his throat. I started lifting up his shirt again. “Wait Ellie.” Luke said moving his hands to put mine back where they were. “Why are you doing this? I mean… it isn’t like you.” Luke said looking at me. I could feel his gaze but I wasn’t meeting his eyes. I wasn’t going to anyway, until he took my chin in his hand ant titled my head till I was looking at him.

“I don’t want to...” I started then trailed off. The reasoning for it sounded stupid to my own mind when I actually began doing it. It was probably going to be even worse in his.

“You didn’t want to what Ellie?” He spoke with a gentel but stern voice I met his eyes for another second and l leaned forward and kissed him very, very softly.

“I didn’t want to lose you.” I said quietly only a few inches away from his lips again. “It’s happened before…” I muttered. “I just didn’t want to make the same mistake.” I felt Luke’s weight shift. And I fell onto my bed. He had thrown me off of his waist and now had his torso propped above mine with his arms. He looked down at me and kissed me. It wasn’t awkward or forceful. It was urgent and hungry, It was as if that kiss held the power for life itself. If I had been standing when it happened. I would have collapsed into his arms. But when he broke the kiss I felt light headed and like the entire world had shifted. Luke, was the right one.

“Ellie, you will NEVER lose me.”