We Will Never Be the Same

My dad was being very talkative at the dinner table and I was convinced it was because he didn't want to leave any room for my mom to talk. She was very quiet, she said hello to me but that was about it. I don't know why I showed up to be honest.

"Oh." Amanda sighed, leaning back in her chair. My mom and dad snapped their heads towards her, causing Amanda to laugh, "I'm fine." She waved them off.

"How's Josh?" Dad asked,passing me some garlic bread.

"He's good. We don't get much time to talk but when we do he sounds like he's really enjoying himself." I smiled.

"Ow." Amanda muttered. We all looked over at her again. Brad was holding her hand tightly and asking her something quietly. She shrugged and gripped the side of her chair.

"Is it the baby?" My dad asked.

"It hurts." She frowned.

"You aren't due for another week." My mom said softly.

"I'm positive the baby will be fine." Brad assured. Which made us all feel better, since Brad was a doctor and all. "Now we have to make sure you're actually having contractions or if it's something else." We all stayed quiet around the table, Amanda would let out a sigh of frustration every second or so.

"Ok, they're five minutes apart, they're definitely contractions." Brad said looking over at us.

"Let's go to the hospital!" My dad cheered.

"I'll go start the car." Brad said, dashing towards the front door.

"I need to put the food away." Mom said quietly.

I went over to Amanda, smiling brightly. "I'm sort of scared." She whispered.

"Don't be." She squeezed my hand as I helped her up.

"Dad, can you go over to my house and pick up my hospital bag? The babies clothes are in there and-" She stopped talking and looked down. Her eyes started to water,

"Mom, my water broke, I'm sorry." Mom walked back into the room, slowly. She was staring down at her hardwood floors.

"It's fine," She waved her off. Dad kissed Amanda on the cheek before heading out, he patted my back as he passed me by. I lead Amanda outside, carefully getting her down icy front steps. Brad came over to help her into the car.

"You coming with?"He asked.

"I'll be there in a bit." I nodded, "Go!" I laughed playfully, pushing him towards his car. I waved at them before heading back inside.

"I'll clean this up." I said. I didn't bother looking at her. She was mopping up the floor in a hurriedly fashion. I walked over to the table to pick up all the dirty dishes. I set them into the sink and turned on the water, washing them quickly. I made sure there were perfectly clean before drying them off. It was then that I realized that I would have to ride with my mom if I wanted to go to the hospital.
I heard her walk in while I was putting away the dishes.

"Thank you."

"Mhm." I responded. I didn't know what else to say, and I wasn't going to say much more because as much as I wanted my mom to talk to me, I was still really hurt.

"Well, I'm ready to go if you are." I turned around and nodded. I grabbed my coat off the hanger and slipped it on before following her out the door.

Oh lord, I have never felt so uncomfortable in my life. I could try and break the ice but I figured it would be no use.

"You know I love you." Her voice sounded as if she were ready to cry. I glanced over at her for a moment before averting my gaze to my hands.

"Doesn't seem like it."

"I do, okay?" She sniffled, "I know I don't show it and to be honest I don't know how to show it. You were always distant, Eden. Even when you were younger, I didn't know how to be a mother to you, which was stupid of me, I pushed you away and I never knew how to get you back. And it made it even worse when you moved away. I just.... I can never find a way to make things better. I never say the right things, and believe me I feel bad for them. I'm too much of a proud person to apologize....." She sighed and brought a hand up to her cheek, wiping quickly.

"I don't apologize. I don't think I remember the last time I apologized to someone....." She paused and looked over at me, "But I'm sorry, ok? I really am. The things I said were out of line and it made me feel like a terrible person. I know how much you're hurting and so am I. I just feel like if I...would have been a better parent you wouldn't be...."

"It's ok, mom." I mumbled quickly. She had surprised me deeply. My mom never talked about her feelings, well she never did in front of me. And she never ever apologized, that was for sure. I've seen her say loads of things that should be followed by an apology but she would never come down from her high horse.

"I.... I want us to be okay."

"Okay." I nodded. I knew she was being sincere and it was worth a shot. She really did seem bothered by the situation and it was a relief, I had always portrayed my mother as a woman made of stone so it was bit satisfying to see her express her feelings.
We had made to the hospital by then, I got out the car and I acted on happiness. I hugged my mom. I haven't hugged my mom since I was a kid. I'm glad she came around because now things would be so much better in between us.

She held onto me tightly,

"What are you two doing?" I pulled away from her, looking over to me dad. He had a confused look on his face, his eyebrows raised high.

"Hugging." My mom said in a 'duh' tone.

"Yeah," He nodded, "But why?"

"Your daughter is in labor and you're here asking why we're hugging." My mom rolled her eyes playfully. She smiled at him brightly and walked off towards the entrance of the hospital. I followed behind her. My dad grabbed my arm, and yanked me towards him.

"Was she trying to smother you?" He whispered.

I laughed a bit, "No, we're fine now.

"What does that mean?"

"We're fine. She apologized and I accepted it....." I looked back at him, his eyes were wide, "She even cried."

"No?" He said in disbelief.

"Yeah!" I exclaimed.

"Wow." He said slowly, "That's great! I'm happy for the two of you, Eden."

"I'm happy, too." I smiled.