We Will Never Be the Same

I walked into the apartment, straight into our bedroom. I sighed heavily as I undressed. I heard Josh walk in, I could tell he wanted to say something, but I figured that he knew that I didn't want to talk.
"I'm going to bed." I told him as I walked out the bathroom. He nodded, walking out the room, "You're ok, right?" He asked from the doorway. I nodded, I was totally lying. Of course I wasn't ok, I was fucking sad. I wanted to lay in bed and cry but I knew I couldn't do that because it worry Josh. I guess I wasn't very convincing because he came over to me, sitting on the edge of the bed.
I looked at him as he opened his mouth to say something, I could see how hard it was for him and it made me feel bad. I always shot down the idea of talking because Josh never really understood me and it mostly always resulted in some sort of argument.

"I'm a bit sad." I mumbled, "That's normal, right? I shouldn't be though, I should be used to my mom saying such mean things. I was embarrassed." He stared at me for a while, I had wanted him to say something, but he didn't. "I'll be fine by morning, 'kay?" I asked, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. I pulled away, "Are you ok?" I asked. I had never really considered if Josh was bothered.

"Not really. It hurts, you know," He mumbled so softly, almost a whisper, "when people bring it up." I nodded; happy that he related to how I was feeling.

"Yeah, I know." He smiled at me, and I scooted over on the bed, "Lay with me?" I asked. He shed off his clothes until he was only in his boxers. When we were under the covers, Josh pulled me close, running his hands through my hair, I laid my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"I love you, Joshua." I said, he chuckled a bit, "Joshua?" He questioned. It had caused me to laugh, "Shut up," I sat up a little so that I could look at him, "Jerk." He laughed once more and I couldn't help but smile as I admired his beautiful, familiar features.

"Well, you always just call me Josh. You only call me Joshua when you're upset with me." He quirked an eyebrow, "Are you upset with me?"
"If I were upset with you, I wouldn't have told you I loved you." I replied, giggling when he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me on top of him.

"I love you, Eden." He kissed the top of my head.
I had always felt more at ease when I was in Josh's arms. I laid there for an hour or so, just enjoying the moment. Josh had fallen asleep before me, I could hear his light snore. He kept his arms secured around me waist, when I would try and roll off of him he would tighten his grip. I didn't know how he could fall asleep with me on top of him, it didn't seem too comfortable.

I waited patiently, listening intently, and my nerves were getting the best of me. Josh was quiet on his end, and that scared me. I wasn't going to say anymore, I wanted him to reply, to tell me how he was feeling.

"Really?" He stuttered out. I nodded even though he couldn't see me, "Yeah. My mom made me take test today, came out positive and I guess it would explain all the nausea and cravings." I tapped my foot repeatedly on the floor and played with a strand of my hair, curling it around my finger.

"Wow." I couldn't tell if he was ok with it or not, I couldn't name the tone that he was using. He sounded surprised but that was pretty much it.

"Mhm." I said.

"That's great!" He exclaimed loudly, making me wince, I pulled the phone away from my ear quickly, scowling a little.

"Yeah?" I asked, "You think so?"

"Definitely. We've been together long enough, I love you and you love me. I can't picture starting a family with anyone but you." I smiled a little, his words were making my stomach do flips and making my heart beat rapidly.

"Yay!" I responded, "Good, 'cause I can't see myself doing this with anyone but you."

"We'll have to move in together, love."

"Of course. I'm pretty sure my mom will kick me out if I don't leave by tomorrow." I chuckled.