Stuck in the Middle

“Ronnie you’re smoking crack if you think I’m going to wear that. It’s like 103 degrees outside.” I said shaking my head no as I checked the temperature on my IPhone.

“Well you’re certainly not going out of this bus wearing that!” He said waving his hands in front of me gesturing to my outfit.

I looked at my reflection in the full length mirror that hung on the bathroom door. I looked perfectly fine. I had no idea why my brother was flipping his lid. My red and pink hair had been pulled up in a sloppy bun to keep me from sweating in the heat of the day. I had only applied a thin line of black eyeliner around my honey brown eyes, because I knew I was going to sweat anything else off, and to be honest I feel naked without eyeliner on. I had a pair of cut off shorts on, which in honestly covered more of my ass then my pajama shorts did, and he had no problem with me prancing around the bus in those. I was wearing my favorite avenged sevenfold shirt that I had cut and tied knots in the back of it, and cut the neck line out of it turning it into a v neck. I had my trusty dirty holey pair of black hightops on, and a pair of plain black ankle socks on, not that you could even see them. This was normal wear for me. I hadn’t dressed up or anything. My chest wasn’t hanging out any more than it usually was, and my ass was covered. Actually now that I think of it I had worn this exact outfit in front of him multiple times.

“Ronnie I’ve worn this before plenty of times!” I whined rolling my eyes at him as he shook his head no. “I’m wearing more than you do when you’re on stage. You’re being hypocritical!” I growled when he shoved the pair of footie pajamas in my direction.

“I don’t want those guys ogling you!” He said shoving the footie pajamas in my hands and crossing his arms. Ronnie squinted his eyes when he said the words ‘those guys’ and I knew who he was talking about. I was honestly surprised he agreed to go on this tour. I think he did it just because he knew I would be working the tour, and he wanted to make sure I didn’t do anyone, or anything he didn’t approve of. I have my own personal babysitter, oh what fun.

“Ronnie I’m a grown adult. I’m 22 years old. I know you’re my big brother, but you can’t control every aspect of my life.” I said crossing my arms over my chest and glaring at him as well.

“Oh no we’ve got a Radke stand off and it’s only the first day of tour.” Jacky joked as he emerged from the back of the bus and stopped seeing how Ronnie and I were blocking the small hallway.

“Jacky tell him I look fine.” I pleaded with the lead guitarist of my brother’s band who was also the same age as me.

“I’m not getting in the middle of this. I don’t want to get on your brothers bad side I have to live and work with him, you know.” Jacky replied as he pushed past the two of us and walking towards the front of the bus.

“Jacky please…” I whined dragging out the e in please.

“Yea Jacky, how does she look?” Ronnie asked turning his attention to Jacky.

“She looks hot as always.” He answered with a smirk. He knew what Ronnie’s reaction would be.

“Well there you go little sister if he thinks you look hot, then so will other guys. Blame you’re good genes.” He replied with a smirk and pushing me into the bathroom.

“I hate you!” I grumbled glaring at him as I pushed past him to my bunk.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He asked eyeing me as I grabbed something out of my bunk.

“I’m changing my bra and panties if I’ve got to wear this monstrosity.” I replied poking my head back out of the curtains to look at him. “I was thinking about a lacey thong and bra set. They are way more breathable then what I am wearing now.” I added watching his face contort into a look of disgust.

“Ashley!” He shouted my name to get me to shut up. I smiled to myself feeling a little bit accomplished in grossing him out.

“Or I could always go commando.” I mused out loud as I popped my head back into the bunk and looked for my bikini to put on under this thing. I shrugged my shoulders in indifference when I found my batman bikini, it wasn’t the one I was looking for, but it would do. I jumped out of my bunk and made my way into the bathroom to change into these stupid footie pajama’s that Ronnie was demanding I wear. I stripped out of my clothes and slipped on my batman bikini and stepped into the footie pajama zipping them up. I walked out of the bathroom and glared at Ronnie as a smile spread across his face.

“You look as beautiful as ever!” He faked gasped as he grabbed me by the shoulders and looked me up and down, wiping a fake tear from his eyes. “My baby girl is growing up.” He said as he ruffled my hair. I punched him in the arm and pushed past him. “Such hostility!” He gasped following close behind me.

“If I’m wearing this so are you.” I demanded turning around to look at my evil brother.

“I see no problem with that. We can be twins!” He beamed as he clapped his hands together and ran to his bunk to get his matching pair of footie pajamas. I had on a pair of Sally ones, and he was currently putting on his Jack ones. Changing into them in the middle of the hall might I add. “Now everyone will know you are mine!” He said pointing at the two of our outfits.

“Ronnie I’m your sister not your girlfriend.” I said taking a few steps away from him and eyeing him suspiciously.

“Same diff.” He replied

“No they are totally different. We have the same blood coursing through our veins that’s … that’s illegal. Oh my God what did they teach you when you were in jail? Incest is not okay Ronald!” I shrieked as I looked at him like he had lost his mind.

“Ha ha Ashley very funny. You know that is not what I meant at all.” He replied crossing his arms over his chest clearly not amused with me.

“That’s not what it sounded like.” I said taking a seat next to Ryan on the couch.

“I have to agree with Ash here, what you said came off as major creeper mode.” Ryan laughed looking between the two of us. “Nice threads!” He laughed putting an arm around my shoulders and pulling me to his side.

“What I meant is we match. People will know that she is with our band and not fuck with her.” Ronnie explained as he sat on top of me.

“Why are you smothering me so much today?” I whined from beneath him.

“I never get to see you. You’re always on tour photographing some band.” He explained wrapping his arms around me hugging me. “I get to spend the next four months with you and I’m excited. I haven’t been around you this long since before I went to jail. Excuse me for being excited.” He said rolling his eyes.

“I see…” I mumbled from beneath him. “Well can you tone it down a bit? I don’t want to be the second Radke child to go to jail for battery, cause I will do it.” I said as I pushed him off of my lap.

He fell to the floor with an “oomph” causing Ryan to laugh. “You wouldn’t really do that to your own brother would you?” He asked batting his eyelashes innocently at me.

“Make me wear one of these again, and I’m sure I will.” I replied pointing to my attire. I stood up from the couch and made my way over to my camera bag which was sitting on the kitchen counter.

“What are you doing?” Ronnie asked as he took the place I had just been sitting on the couch.

“Making sure I’ve got all my stuff together. I’m supposed to start taking pictures in a few minutes.” I said sorting through my lenses.

“Can I come with? Who are you photographing?” He asked, making my heart stop for a millisecond.

“Don’t you have something to do? Like sound check or something?” I asked trying to avoid his questions.

“Nope we don’t have sound check until the afternoon.” He replied proudly. “Who are you photographing?” He asked again.

“Asking Alexandra.” I replied conveniently forgetting to list the band I was supposed to photograph first.

“Oh I like those guys. They are pretty awesome.” He replied standing up and walking towards me.

“What are you doing?” I asked skeptically.

“I want to see my little sister at work.” He replied with a smirk.

“Uhh… you can’t.” I replied looking down at my feet.

“And why can’t I?” He asked crossing his arms over his chest indignantly.

“Cause… uhh… I’ve got to take pictures of Escape the Fate first.” I answered not looking up from my feet.

“Oh no you’re not!” He exclaimed taking my camera case from my hands.

“Ronnie I was hired to photograph all the bands on this tour, and they happen to be one of them.” I replied crossing my arms and tapping my foot impatiently.

“But I don’t like them! They are a bunch of ungrateful asshole! You’re not going to work with them. They can find someone else!” Ronnie said before walking away back towards the bunk area, presumably to hide my camera.

“Ronnie, I am the only photographer working on this tour, there is no one else to do it.” I replied as I followed behind him.

“Ashley I don’t want you around them!” He replied stopping in his tracks and crossing his arms.

“And I didn’t want my brother to go to jail for two and a half years, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I had to suck it up and move on without you. This is what I decided to do with my life. You have a problem with Escape the Fate not me. Max, Monty, Robert, and Craig were the ones that helped me not completely fall apart when you left. I know you don’t like them, but it’s time to get over it. You did some stupid shit you were kicked out of the band and replaced. I hate to say it but the guys had a good reason to do so. I’m your sister and I love you, but I’m going to work with them whether you like it or not.” I fumed grabbing my camera case out of his hands and storming off of the bus.

I quickly walked down the row of busses until I reached the ETF bus and I banged on their door. I stood there impatiently tapping my foot as I waited for someone to answer the door.

“Uhh… can I help you?” A familiar voice asked.

I embarrassedly looked up from my feet to see Craig Mabbitt’s little sister Emily standing there. “I uhh… I’m here to take pictures of the band.” I replied looking her in the eyes.

“Ashley?” She asked. I nodded my head yes. “Oh my God I haven’t seen you in forever! How are you doing? Come on in the boys are finishing getting ready.” She said holding the door open for me.

“I’ve been doing really great. I’ve been really busy with work and all. I’ve basically been on one tour after another for the past three years.” I replied taking a seat on the couch.

“That’s great. I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but why the hell are you wearing those?” Emily asked laughing as she pointed to the footie pajamas Ronnie insisted I wear.

“Because my brother is an asshole.” I grumbled. “He wouldn’t let me out of the bus in what I was wearing, and insisted I wear these. He’s afraid someone is going to fall in love with me, I don’t know.” I replied rolling my eyes.

“Do you want me to give you some clothes to wear?” Emily offered.

I shook my head no. “I’m fine, plus he’s wearing one too. He has to go onstage in his, which makes it okay with me.” I replied with a laugh.

“I’d kill my brother if he ever did that to me.” Emily replied with a grimace.

“You kill me if I did what to you?” Craig asked emerging from the bathroom with his toothbrush in his mouth. “Oh my God, Chipmunk!” Craig yelled spitting toothpaste everywhere.

“There’s a chipmunk on the bus?” Monty yelled running out from the back of the bus. You see chipmunk is a pet name Craig gave me, when I had impacted wisdom teeth. My cheeks were so swollen I looked like I was storing nuts in my cheeks, and my cheeks were even more swollen when I had all four of them removed. He started calling me that and it just kind of stuck with him. “Ashley? What are you doing here?” Monty asked as he pulled me into a hug.

“I’m here to take pictures of you guys.” I replied when he pulled away from the hug. “And you decided to dress up for us, how professional.” He joked poking me in the side.

“Shut it. Ronnie wouldn’t let me out of the bus in my normal clothes.” I grumbled crossing my arms.

“What’s with all the yelling?” Max asked rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He had clearly just woken up. His hair was a mess, he had his glasses on, and was in just his boxers. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Well good morning sleeping beauty.” I joked.

“Ashley?” He asked rubbing his eyes a little more. “Does your brother know you’re here?” He asked crossing his arms against his chest.

“Yes mother. Ronnie does in fact know where I am. Is he happy about it? No. He tried to hide my fucking camera from me.” I answered rolling my eyes.

“Oh great, drama is already starting on the first day of tour.” He replied rolling his eyes as well.

“No need to get your panties in a twist. The faster you get dressed the faster we can get this over with. I know you don’t want me around, you made that apparent the last time I saw you. Now go and get dressed.” I replied pushing him in the direction he had just come from. You see Max and I had been very close, until a few months before Ronnie was release from jail. Ronnie had always been my rock, my go to guy, and when he went to jail Max was there for me; that was until he decided that it was best if we part ways. He claimed Ronnie wouldn’t like it if we were friends and that part is true, but I didn’t give a flying fuck if Ronnie liked it or not, Max had been there for me when my brother wasn’t and that was all that mattered to me. He abruptly stopped talking to me, and acted like I never existed. He started doing a lot more drugs as the months led up to Ronnie’s release. I know he blamed himself for Ronnie going to jail, not that he would ever admit it to anyone else. He claimed that he had taken the past two and a half years away from Ronnie and didn’t want to take his sister away from him as well. It hurt me like hell because I had grown very fond of Max during the years I had known him, and even closer when Ronnie was gone, but I accepted the fact that he was doing what he thought was best for the both of us. He not being in my life and vice versa would cause a lot less drama in the long run for both of us.

“Well I’ve got to go get all the shirts and shit set up for the show. I’ll see you later.” Emily said giving me a hug, before walking off the bus.

“He didn’t like what you were wearing so he made you wear this?” Craig asked with a laugh. “I wish I had the brotherly power he has over you with Emily. Things would be so much easier.” He said in a dreamy tone.

I laughed and pushed him away. “Go finish getting dressed. I’m on a tight schedule here, you know.”

“Awe my chipmunk is in a rush. I’ll make sure to take up most of your time.” He replied turning towards the bathroom. He abruptly stopped in his tracks, turned back towards me again, and pulled me into a hug. “It’s good to see you again. We’ve all been wondering how you were doing, and don’t let Max get to you. He’s missed you more than the rest of us. He was just doing what he thought was right at the time, but I’ll let you in on a little secret. He regrets ever saying any of that shit to you. Give him some time and he’ll warm up to the idea of you being around again. He loves and misses you more than you know.” Craig said giving me a wink before walking back into the bathroom.

He left me standing there completely and utterly confused. I shrugged it off and started setting up my camera and thinking of places to go take pictures of the band.