I Wanna Get Well

I stood in front of my window, letting out a slow breath. I needed to compose myself. This was a big day and I needed my A - Game for it. I looked down and sighed. I needed to get dressed too. I walked over to my suitcase and shuffled through the few outfits of clothes I had. I frowned as I looked at it all. Nothing must fit right anymore after putting on the pounds I did. No, I had to stop thinking like that. I was still fine, I could fit these perfectly.

I finally pulled on a black tank and stepped in a pair of black, high waist shorts. I held my breath as I pulled them up and over the bottom of the tank. I didn’t let it out until I buttoned them shut. The shorts seemed to melt into my skin, not making me feel uncomfortable at all like I had half believed. The smallest part of my mind was sure that they would no longer fit, but I had proved it wrong. I quickly pulled on my white button down top, tying the end strings together to tighten its grip on my body.

I began to feel a little uncomfortable by my choice, but I was running late and was in no position to attempt to find a whole new outfit. I sat on my bed to pull on some plain, white ankle socks and then slip into my boots. I stood and smoothed out the fabric, hoping there would be no obnoxious wrinkles. I had to look good for this and I couldn't mess it up. I ran my hand through my hair to still find it straight. That was good, at least my hair had decided to work with me today.

Suddenly my door was opened, causing my head to snap up. When I saw the familiar person in the doorway I nodded, shutting my now messy suitcase and grabbing it's handle. I nervously tucked my long, white-blond hair behind my ear as I followed the man silently out of my room and down the hallway. On the way to the exit I saw many members of the staff and smiled, waving politely to familiar faces. Some told me goodbye, others simply smiled back, continuing on their way with work.

We finally reached the door that would lead us into the lobby. To be honest I hadn’t see it in a while. I had a very faint memory of the room, but it seemed like a dream instead of an actual memory. The man who stood in front of me rasped his knuckles on the small, glass rectangle in the door so the woman in the other room could see there was someone at the door. When she saw who it was, she smiled and pressed a button I knew was under the desk top, causing the door to let out a long ‘beep’.

He pushed open the blue door, allowing me to step in first. As I did, my eyes began searching the large room. It seemed different from the little I remembered. I wonder if they had remodeled it since the last time I was in here. I wouldn’t be that surprised if they had. My eyes finally settled on a figure that was now standing from his spot on one of the benches that surrounded the perimeter of the room. My nervous frown suddenly turned into a grin so wide my cheeks hurt a little from the action. I quickly rushed forward towards the lanky figure. “Parker!”

“Fee!” My brother shouted back. He took me into a tight embrace and rested his head on top of mine, rocking us left and right as he affectionately rubbed my back. I could practically feel the tears brim my eyes. It felt so great to finally be able to see him again. “I’ve missed you sis.”

“I missed you too, bro.”

A throat being cleared made us end our embrace. I turned around to see the man that had led me here now smiling and holding my suitcase that I had dropped in my excitement. “It was nice to work with you Phoenix.”

“Thank you Dr. Abrams. It means a lot.” I couldn’t fight it. I took him into a tight hug. He returned it much gentler, patting my back. I composed myself, taking a step back and smiling up at him.

“Remember to keep your head Phoenix. I want to make sure I never have to see you here again,” Dr. Abrams told me with a grin. I nodded, forcing myself not to cry in front of him. I had to show him I was going to be strong. With one last wave I turned to head out the front door of the building with my brother right beside me. We stepped into the bright, sunny day and I couldn’t help but smile.

Parker and I headed towards his Trans Am speaking about stopping somewhere for lunch before continuing on back to our hometown. I paused before I could climb into the car as Parker unlocked the doors and placed my suitcase in the backseat. From the outside, Newport Bay Hospital didn’t even look like the place I had been the past two years. It seemed like a normal place filled with normal people. Not a place for depressed and “crazy” people that I knew were inside.

“Fee.” My head turned to look across the roof of the car to see my brother frowning a little. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just -” I turned my head to look at the building again. It seemed so normal with its beige walls and light brown roofs. But I knew the mental torture I had to work through inside that building for the past two years. I knew the kind of people who ended up here were anything but normal. “It just feels so surreal to actually be leaving, y’know?”

“I have an idea,” Parker confessed. After a few moments of silence Parker let out a sigh. “How about we head to get something to eat and catch up? I’m sure there are some things you’ll want to know about. And some things that you need to know about.”

“Okay.” We finally climbed into his vehicle with a slam of the doors. I buckled my seatbelt as he started up the engine. Soon the air conditioning was hitting me in the face and music was filling my ears. I smiled, leaning my head back against the headrest as Parker buckled his own seatbelt and put the car in reverse. I could feel us back out of the parking spot before he turned the car around and left the property. I opened my eyes to steal the one last glance in the rearview mirror at what I had considered a home for so long. I didn’t look away until it disappeared as we turned the corner.

I felt like a weight had finally been lifted off my chest. After all the problems and torturous thoughts and hard work I put myself through it was finally over.

I was out.