Counting the Stars

“Kyle, you should really stop with this smoking habit you’ve picked up on. That can’t be healthy for you at all,” Niall said, walking out to where I was currently sitting.

It had been three days since we left Florida, which was three days since Niall and Caroline had started dating, thus, three days since I started the bad habit of smoking. I knew it wasn’t safe and was the polar opposite of healthy, but it made me feel good. For the five minutes I could sit outside and get away from everyone else, I was in a completely different world. Nothing was tense and awkward, it was calm and relaxed. If I could have it the way I wanted, I would want to feel this way all the time.

“Now why should I listen to you, Niall?” I asked curiously, taking a deep breath in and inhaling the smoke.

He shrugged his shoulders, “Because. Besides Caroline, I’m the closest thing you have to a best friend.”

I mentally cringed at the words ‘best’ and ‘friend.’ There was nothing I wanted more than for him to think of me as more than that. That wouldn’t happen if I continued to be stubborn and not tell him.

“You’ve barely talked to me since we left Disneyworld. The only time you do is when you’re telling me how bad smoking is for me. I’m stressed as fuck, Niall. This is the only way I get a little bit of relief,” I ranted, glaring at him the entire time. Frankly, he was starting to piss me off.

“What do you have to be stressed about? You have it pretty easy as far as I’m concerned. You get paid to travel all of North America and do what you love!” Niall retaliated, clearly angry at my response, “Do you think you’re the only one that’s stressed out? Because you aren’t.”

“Oh my! Why are you so stressed, Dr. Horan? Enlighten me on your wisdom. As far as I’m concerned you’re doing the exact same thing as I am. Except your pay check is a little bit fatter than mine,” I smirked. If he was going to be a bitch, so could I.

“You don’t have to deal with press and crazy fans! Every single one of my moves is documented by someone with a camera or camcorder. I don’t get a single ounce of privacy. I’m currently in a nasty battle with the press about my love life. Because of some crazy fan taking a picture of Caroline and I, everyone knows about us. I didn’t want that! You’ve got it easy, Kyle. You have enough fans to make the whole thing enjoyable, but nothing too bad,” He bitterly forced out.

I rolled my eyes, “It’s a lot more difficult than you think. I’m not exactly living this easy life where everything is handed to me on a silver plate. There’s a whole lot more to this equation.”

Niall deadpanned, “Is there really, Kyle? What else could be so difficult in your life?”

This was the perfect opportunity to tell him. It would play out like some dramatic movie. From somewhere off in the distance dramatic music would play. Slowly but surely I would stand up and walk over to Niall. Once we were inches away from each other I’d shout that I was actually a girl. He’d pick me up and spin me around in circles a few times, loudly expressing his excitement. Then the rain would start to fall from the Heavens and we’d share our first kiss. Niall would go and break things off with Caroline and then ask me to be his girlfriend.

Much to my disappointment, this was reality and wasn’t a movie. If I were to tell he would either not believe me or be extremely upset with me like Liam and Louis had. Even though we were at a rocky point in our friendship now, I didn’t want to risk it any more than I have been in the past few minutes throughout this argument.

“Something’s are better left unsaid,” I stated simply.

I tossed my cigarette bud to the ground and stomped on it with my foot, making sure it wasn’t still lit. With my last statement I stood up and walked past Niall, brushing against him as I walked through the door. I wasn’t going to allow myself to continue to argue with him and ruin our friendship any more than it already was.

“I wasn’t done talking to you! I want to know what is so stressful that you have to throw your life away one death stick at a time,” Niall raised his voice, trailing behind me.

I turned around to face him. He was looking more attractive today than he had ever. Even though you could tell that he was stressed out, his hair was a mess and his outfit was perfect, making him look incredibly appealing today. I took a few steps towards him. He towered over me, being at least five inches taller than I was. I took one more step towards him. Now there was barely an inch between our feet. Our chests were almost touching and if he were to look down, our foreheads would touch.

“Listen closely, Horan,” I whispered, venom seeping through my voice, “Something’s I just can’t tell you. Something’s are left better left unsaid. This one in particular can’t be told to anyone. So if you don’t mind, I will continue to live my life the way I want to and you won’t have a say in what I do. Now continue on with your oh so hard life style, and I’ll continue on with mine. If you’re going to be so judgmental about everything I do, I don’t want anything to do with you.”

“Kyle-“ He interrupted. I didn’t let him finish.

“Let me keep talking. You’re not exactly innocent, either. After knowing my ex for not even 10 hours you asked her out and are currently dating. I don’t care that we’re now best friends and I told you that you that you two would be perfect. It’s completely and utterly low to go for someone else’s girl. So please, if you’re going to be judgmental about my life decisions, I’m going to be judgmental about yours.”

We stood there for a few seconds, practically pressed up against each other. Had this been in any other situation, I’d be breathing in his cologne and savoring every second. Now I wanted nothing more than to turn around and run away. I wasn’t going to back down now, not after I had tried so hard to make my point clear.

“My life is difficult,” Was all he said. He didn’t try to argue with anything I said or try to piss me off anymore.

“Lucky for you I made sure to let you know that I acknowledged how hard your life was,” I smirked, looking directly into his eyes.

He sighed, “Listen, Kyle. Lately things have been a lot more difficult for me. I don’t know what you heard that day when you walked into Zayn and I’s conversation, but whatever you heard just shows how difficult it is. It may seem like it’s just press and fans, but it’s a personal struggle, too.”

With that he leaned down even lower and captured my lips in a kiss. My eyes widened in shock, not knowing what he was doing. Did he know I was a girl? Was he actually gay? This made no sense. Finally getting what I had wanted for so long, I stopped thinking and kissed him back. I didn’t care at the moment if he was worried that I, guy version of Callista, was a guy and kissing him back. All I cared about was his minty breath and his lips that were on mine.

He pulled away right as his tongue licked my lips and I had parted them, allowing him entrance. He looked at me, his face a mixture of shock and horror. I didn’t say anything and I didn’t look him in the eye. I instantly looked down. Not only had he kissed me thinking I was a guy, but he officially had cheated on Caroline.

“Fuck,” He mumbled, “FUCK!” He shouted, louder than I had ever heard him shout before. He turned around abruptly and walked away quickly. Before he rounded a corner he turned, facing the wall. He pulled his arm back and suddenly punched the wall that was in front of him with such force I was able to hear it 30 feet away. He instantly pulled his hand back and began shaking it in pain. He continued to walk down the hallway, turning the corner and walking out of my eyesight.

What the hell had just happened?