I'm Gonna Push You Away, With Every Word That You Say.

I woke up with the lights burning my eyes.

"Oh my god shut them off" I grunted shutting my eyes closed.

Austin ran to shut them off then sat back down on my left as Ronnie was on my right.

"So what did the doctor say?" I asked safely reopening my eyes.

"Well, you had surgery because one of your extra ribs shattered and punctured your right lung which caused internal bleeding. And some of your other ribs were severely fractured" my brother said.

"I didn't think it was that bad" I said.

"Yeah well it fucking was Ashley! Why did you stop taking your shots?" he yelled.

"I though I didn't need them anymore because my doctor said my ribs were getting stronger" I said knowing not to scream because it would just cause me pain.

"Dude calm down" Austin said.

He had been quiet this entire time.

"No! The doctor said your ribs were extremely fragile and that the impact did tremendous damage. Why would you do that Ashley how stupid can you possibly be?" he yelled.

'Well, that hurt' I thought.

Austin shot out of his seat, "Dude calm the fuck down, she just fucking got surgery and she just woke up! Fucking listen to what she has to say, understand her, and be there for her! Don't scream at her!" he yelled at Ronnie which startled him.

"You're right" Ronnie whispered looking down.

"Okay then" Austin said sitting back down.

'Thanks' I mouthed at him. He smiled. I looked back at Ronnie.

"I'm sorry for screaming at you but you can't do this. Promise me you'll take your shots?"

"It's okay I know you were just worried. I promise" I smiled at him.

"Mr. Carlile may I speak to you?" the doctor said.

Austin nodded and walked outside with the doctor. I looked at Ronnie confused.

"He had to say you were his wife because the only allowed visits were blood relatives or strong relationships" he smiled at me as Austin walked back inside.

"Hey husband!" I smiled grabbing his hand after he sat down.

He smiled, "Well wife, the doctor gave me this prescription for a month's supply of your shots to pick up at Walmart."

"Did you ask him when I could leave?"

"Yeah! He said today!" Austin said excitedly.

I threw my right fist up in the air and groaned as pain shot through my ribs. Ronnie chuckled.

"Just go get me clothes" I mumbled at him.

"Okay, the bus is out front" he said kissing my forehead and running off to retrieve my clothes.

I hadn't realized that mine and Austin's hands were still intertwined. I smiled. He squeezed my hand lightly and smiled at me. Oh my god his smile rips my heart in half knowing he can't be mine.

His face fell, "This is all my fault. I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have grabbed your ankle."

I shook my head, "No, you heard what Ronnie said my ribs were extremely fragile this could've happened at anytime."

"I still feel bad" he said reaching his left hand to move hair away from the right side of my face.

"Don't"

Right then at that perfect moment Ronnie bursted through the door. Austin quickly yanked his hands away. Ronnie smiled at me and handed me my shoes, clothes, and beanie. I grabbed them and walked to the bathroom slowly holding the back of my hospital gown together. I entered the bathroom and realized why Ronnie was smiling he gave me my favorite black ripped skinny jeans with my red 'I Love Austin Carlile' shirt. I sighed, that fucking bastard. I got dressed careful to the tight bandages around my mid-section. After I put my beanie on I walked out of the bathroom. Ronnie grinned at me, Austin looked up and smiled widely at my shirt.

"I like your shirt, wife"

"Thanks" I chuckled then quickly clutching my side.

Austin noticed and ran over to my right side and put my arm around his shoulders. I wasn't all that short not as tall as Austin but I was a pretty good size. 5"11, I'm pretty sure. We walked slowly together as Ronnie signed me out. When we finally got to bus Austin had to carry me up the steps because I didn't have enough strength to go up. Austin set me down on the couch and sat next to me. All the guys came running out from the back with party hats on. I smiled as Jacky set a cake down on my lap. 'So Glad Your Out From The Hospital' the double chocolate cake it had written in red icing.

"Thanks guys, I love you so much" I said as they all hugged me lightly being careful of my ribs.

"We love you too!" Ryan squealed as the whole band nodded.

"We're so glad you're okay. Ryan cried when you went into surgery" Jacky smiled.

Ryan shrugged, "I was worried."

"Aw, Ryan" I awed kissing his cheek.

"Husband, go to the kitchen and cut up this cake!" I chuckled at Austin.

"Yes, my wife" he smiled grabbing to the cake and going into the kitchen.

The guys looked confused then grinned after Ronnie had told them. I blushed looking down at my hands. The guys awed at me.

"Here's the cake" Austin shouted giving everyone a plate with a piece of cake on it.

"Thanks" I said as he handed me mine.

I noticed his hands were empty, "Where's your piece?"

"Weren't any left" he shrugged.

"Oh well you can have some of mine" I said cutting a small piece with my fork and giving it to him.

He didn't take the fork he just opened his mouth. I chuckled feeding it to him. The guys awed at us and I blushed. I had fed him half of the cake piece.

"Your turn" he said feeding me.

I smiled, "Thanks" I rested my head on his shoulder.

He put his head over mine as I cuddled into his chest.

I took a small nap as we were driving to get my prescription at Walmart. Austin kissed my temple waking me up, notifying me that we arrived at Walmart. Everyone walked off the bus and into Walmart. Austin helped me walk the entire time. The rest of the guys went off to buy food and stuff. While me and Austin went to the pharmacy to get my prescription. After a few minutes we got the prescription and started walking to find the guys.

I smiled up at him. We were holding hands but mostly to help me walk.

"So, Of Mice & Men or Slipknot?" he asked grinning.

"No, you can't make me choose" I whined at him.

"You have too" he smiled down at me.

"Slipknot" I said.

"Me too" he smiled.

"Haha really?" I asked shocked.

"Yeah I grew up to Slipknot"

"Me too" I nodded.

"My god if I met Corey Taylor I would freak" I said excitedly.

"Same" he smiled down at me.

"I love him"

"Me too!" he squealed.

I chuckled at him as he pulled me into a gentle hug.

I broke the hug, "I have to get some stuff."

"Okay I'll come with you" he nodded.

"You sure? I gotta get some pretty feminine stuff" I said to him.

"Yeah whatever" he shrugged.

God I love him so much.

He grabbed a cart and chased after me.

"Pads, Shampoo, Conditioner, Shaving Razor, Red Hair Dye, Extra Bandages, and Face Wash" I said throwing items into the cart.

"Okay I'm done" I said looking back at Austin.

He smiled, "Red hair dye?"

"I need a change. You wanna help me do it tomorrow?" I said to him.

"Okay" he nodded.

"Now lets give this to Ronnie and we'll go back to the bus" I said as I took the cart and looked for Ronnie.

I found him by the video game section.

"Okay, can you buy these things for me?" I asked him.

He smiled, "Sure."

"Okay I gotta go back to the bus and take my first shot" I said as he nodded.

I took Austin and walked back over to the bus. I opened my prescription bag and took out my first shot. I had to inject my shot right between one of my ribs on my right side each week. I took my shirt off not caring that Austin was there watching me in my red lace bra. I moved my bandages down just a bit and positioned the needle between my ribs and injected it. I saw Austin cringe as I whimpered. After I had my shot I cleaned the area with an alcohol napkin and redid my bandages. I put my shirt back on and sat down next to Austin.

"That hurt" I said resting my head on his shoulder closing my eyes.

"It'll get easier" he reassured me.

I chuckled, "Not for you."

"I just really don't like shots" he said rubbing my back.

I completely felt relaxed by him doing that. He had laid down and pulled me on top of him. I was about to fall asleep but then all of the guys came onto the bus laughing but quieted down once they saw us. I hadn't bothered to open my eyes so they thought I was asleep. Austin was stroking my hair. I looked at the clock that was across the room after the guys had gone to the back of the bus and saw that it was almost 11pm. I got up off of Austin and slowly walked towards the kitchen. I sighed, there were at least 50 bags all over the floor. I walked over to the fridge and took out a bottle of Mnt Dew. I walked back into the living room and saw Austin making a small bed on the couch. I started laughing and he looked at me confused.

"You are not sleeping on the couch" I said holding my ribs in pain.

I really shouldn't laugh.

"Yeah I am I don't wanna take up room in your bunk I could hurt your ribs" he said as he continued to make a bed.

"No, you wont. Stop" I said messing up the 'bed.'

He sighed, "You just can't lose can you."

I smiled, "Nope."

"Come on" I said dragging him over to my bunk.

I grabbed my oversized Slipknot shirt and went into the bathroom. I took off my shirt, bra, and jeans and put on my Slipknot shirt. I threw my other clothes in a bin we had in the bathroom for dirty clothes. I walked out and over to my bunk. Austin had already gotten undressed and inside the bunk. He smiled at my shirt.

I tried to get up in the bunk but pain shot through my ribs. I groaned and grabbed my ribs. Austin chuckled and got out. He only had his Star Wars boxers on which made me giggle.

"Need help?"

"Yes please" I pouted at him.

He chuckled as he picked me up and placed me inside the bunk. He got in after me and immediately picked me up and switched sides so I was resting on my left side. He smiled at me and put his arms around my waist loosely. I cuddled into his chest and smiled. If only it was like this every night.

"I love you Austin" I whispered.

"I love you too Ashley"

I soon drifted off to sleep with a feeling of comfort and love. Tomorrow was gonna be........different. I could feel it.