The Gate Keeper

Emilia never meant for things to end this way, it all just got so out of control. There was a point in which she began to doubt what was right and what was wrong. Loving him was her destruction, and she couldn’t help but be destroyed by it because she truly, unequivocally believed that she loved him and till this day she still believes she does. Emilia had come to terms with herself, she knew that she would do just about anything he asked, even if it was her life he asked for, (not that he would ask her for such a deranged thing, for he also loved her) she would gladly rip out her own heart and present it to him on his throne, because to her the term “Lord” was appropriate for him.

He was her savior and the gate keeper of her freedom; when she was younger she heard an old man say

“To fall into the arms of the lord is to obliterate all sentiment and knowledge of being alive and succumb to all that is holy.”

She knew she was dead the moment she locked eyes with him and at times she told herself that being dead beside him felt much more like being alive than being alive on her own, for she was truly dead before she met her savior. It was he who brought any kind of emotion and color into her tall black soul, and without him she was black and blue and alone. She knew she’d rather die than not have spent the last month in the hell she called home for it was worse than hell to her and she never wanted to go back there.
If she had known before what the last month of her meaningless life would have been she would’ve done it again and again and again because there was no such thing as too much pain or too much love when she was in his arms, those arms in which she knew were her true home and too never see them again meant to forfeit to breathe forever.
Sometimes she wondered if it was the fact that he was the only man or human who had ever acknowledged her existence and even in the most minimal form returned the kindness she had placed upon him. To say she was afraid he would leave her was being modest. Spencer was perplexed of even the thought and when he did not commit to meeting her at the time or place they had agreed upon she became distressed, as if the oxygen was being sucked out of her puny lungs and when he did arrive at whatever time it was she felt as if everything was whole once again and this terrified her, knowing that without him she was just a body and there was no reason for her existence.

Indeed she loved him, with every bone of her body she loved him, and it brought her torment and misery but she was happy in her misery because he was there.