Could You Love Me Just A Little Bit More

We were back on the road again and making our way to Illinois. Ella had stayed on the other bus to do some manager type talk and Annabell had decided to take a nap. She scolded me when she arrived back to the bus after Ella had called her. She told me she was going to end up putting some kind of tracker on me so she knew where I was if I were to run off again.

I on the other hand had managed to type up the first official part to my article. I beamed with pride as I read over it. It wasn't much to be fair, but it was more progress than I had been making. I'd started out with who they were and what they did and started to explain a little about their journey and tour. I was no doubt in need of more information but what I had so far I was happy with.

As I packed everything up that I'd scattered around the table in our small living room my phone started to vibrate across the table. I glanced at it and saw Robs name flashing at me. I immediately grabbed it and slid my thumb across the screen.

'Hey Rob.' I chirped, being as happy as I could with him.

'Have you spoken to Lola yet?' He asked, not even a hello at the start.

'About what exactly?' I asked him. All I wanted was a nice conversation, for him to tell me he missed me and that he couldn't wait for me to come home, but was did I expect? We'd been together too long for him to care any more.

'About telling her to back off. I always see her when I'm out, just tell her I'm sick of it!' He demanded, his tone getting more aggressive.

'You know, Rob, Newcastle isn't that huge. You both hang around in the same places, you have mutual friends, of course she's going to be around, stop being so arsey.' I snapped back.

'Never mind, I'll speak to her myself.' He sighed. 'Anyway, where are you?' He asked, again talking in his normal tone, acting as though we hadn't just yelled at each other.

'On the bus driving to Illinois. Half way there now, I have some of my article written, you want to hear it?' I asked hopefully. I wanted him to take interest again so I couldn't help but try with him.

'Not right now, I have things to do. Maybe later. I have to go, Darcy. Bye.' And as blunt as that he cut the phone off. I threw my head back and bobbed my knee up and down, controlling my breathing so I wouldn't lash out at something or someone or burst into tears.

'Darcy, can I come in?' I heard Annabell ask from outside of the door. My stomach dropped, I knew she'd probably just heard the conversation I'd just had and was going to want to talk about it.

'Of course.' I replied and watched her as she stuck her head around the door first giving me a small smile. She then made her way to the sofa facing me and pulled her knees up to her chest.

'Did he not want to hear it?' She asked me, a sympathetic look on her face.

I shook my head, 'No, he never does.' I choked on my words, a lump building in my throat.

'Please, Darcy. Will you talk about it? It was hard seeing you run out of the diner like you did. All we want to do is help you, we don't want to muscle in. Can you talk to me about Rob?' She asked. She didn't sound like she just wanted to listen to be nosey, she sounded genuinely concerned.

I debated for a moment whether or not I should, but I needed to talk to someone who didn't know him, Lola was just biased because she hated him so I decided to let Annabell in.

'Well, as you may or may not know, Rob is my boyfriend. We've been together for six years and a long six years it has been.' I took a deep breath and rubbed my hands up and down my legs, trying to distract myself from the story a little.

'Has something happened that's kept you together so long?' Annabell asked, her eyes fixated on me.

'When I was sixteen, I left home to live with Rob. My parents were addicted to drugs and alcohol and it wasn't safe to live with them. He was like my rock when I finally decided to leave and immediately let me stay with him. His parents approving of it also. It had been about a year after I'd left home that I'd seen the front page of a newspaper. Both of their faces, staring back at me, the dead look in their eyes still frightens me to this day.' I shuddered at the thought of how ill they looked.

'Are they in prison?' Annabell asked, shuffling forward a little off her seat.

'No, they were both high and decided to go out on a drive to find some drugs. My dad lost control of the car and drove head first into an oncoming truck. They died instantly. Probably the best place for them.' I didn't mean to sound as heartless as I did.

'Oh my God!' Annabell clasped her hand over her mouth.

'It's not as painful to think about now, but at first, even though I hadn't seen them in so long, I was inconsolable. Rob put up with so many of my mood swings and breakdowns. I just cant stand the thought of leaving him after all he put up with. After everything he gave me, a place to stay, a second family. I just cant drop all of that for something I don't even know I feel is right.' I explained to Annabell. A lone tear trickled down her cheek.

'You have been through so much and you hide it so well and now I understand why this is so difficult for you, but if you aren't happy and you know things have grown differently between you and Rob, you cant let the fact he was there for you in the beginning make you stay because you cant be sure he's going to be there in the end.' Annabell was only a little older than me but she seemed a lot more wiser. What she was saying was ringing true but I brushed it aside. I didn't want to break Rob's heart...if it was still there for me at all.