Married or Not, I Hate You

Something vibrated under my pillow and I jumped awake. I pulled up my phone and saw the alarm on. The clock was 7:43am. “Fuck! I’m late!” I spun up from the bed and got dressed,ran down and saw the bus driving away from the window. “Fuck!” I groaned in frustration. If it weren’t for the fact that it took me an hour to walk to the school I wouldn’t hesitate. “What’s wrong,Frank?” That sounded like Gerard’s father. He stood fully dressed with a cup of coffee in his hand.It smelled something else than coffee though.

I’m guessing a hint of vodka,or maybe a big dash.

“I missed the bus to school..” I sighed. Donald nodded and walked over to me,patting my shoulder. “I can get a driver to ddrive you in the limo”

I froze.

Did I want to get droven to school in a limo? The people at school would figure out that I weren’t a normal kid and start asking questions. Ray,Matt,ryan and Bob was the only ones who knew about my social status. What would Lindsey and Bert say? Would people start coming to me,trying to make friends with me. But in reality all they want would be money?

I decided against it and shook my head. “Can I just stay home?” So,I decided to use my puppy eyes on Donald,seeing if it worked. “Okay,but don’t tell your parents that I let you.” It did. Donald nodded at me and walked out of the room.

Which room am I in?

I looked around and saw that I was in the kitchen. It looked really normal actually. The size was normal and the floor was made of old wood. The fridge didn’t look like it costed one million dollars alone and the table looked to be made for four to sit. I decided to go outside in the garden and relax a little.
As I mentioned before,I smoke right . So as I was sitting in the garden I pulled up a pack of Lucky Strikes and a lighter. I put the cigarette between my lips and light it up while inhaling.

Since Jamia died my smoking had increased a lot. Smoking makes me relaxed,and makes me less stressed all the time. While I was sitting under a tree,smoking I started thinking about last night. What would I say to Gerard? How would he act towards me? God,this was stressing! I took one drag after another on the cigarette until my head started aching. I stumped the butt on the grass and sighed.

What am I supposed to do? I’m married to a bipolar guy that can’t make up his mind towards me,my bestfriend is dead and my parents left me again. I’m stuck in a house where the only one who’s nice to me is a rich old man with a drinking problem. Maybe..

No! Nonononono NO!

I shook my head in disbelief. I was not gonna start that bullshit again! Not a-fucking-gain! I groaned loudly and banged my backhead hard against the tree. “You’re not gonna start with that again,you’ve been without it for soon three years and disappointing Jamia like this..You’re better than that!’’ I heard some rustling in the grass like a foot-step and looked up to find Gerard.

“Been without what for three years?” He asked gloomily while sitting down. I looked down. “None of your business..” I felt something touching my chin and was pulled up to look Gerard in the eyes. His face was inches from mine,which was making me uncomfortable.

The wind outside was only a light breeze and the sun was on it’s way up. The sky was clean blue and Gerards lips was pressed against mine..

Wait..What!?

Gerard was pressing me against the tree,sitting in my lap while kissing me. I pushed away. “What the hell?” He frowned at me. “What?” This was starting to get on my nerves. “You have to fucking make up your mind! Yesterday you said it didn’t mean anything and now you’re all over me! What is it that’s going on in your mind!? I don’t get anything!!”

Gerard just stared at me,smirking. He leant in closer to me,nibbling on my ear. “Don’t you get it..?” He whispered. “You’re my playtoy.I use you for pleasure,but it doesn’t mean anything”

What……..