I Wish

“You sure you aren’t forgetting anything?” I murmured quietly into my beautiful boyfriend’s neck as we stood looking across the flat that Niall had been sharing with Kieron for the last few months. Who could’ve thought that I’d be standing here with the boy of my dreams…

About to have my heart broken when he boards his plane and leaves me.

I had never been happier than I was these last few weeks with Niall. It’d been like a dream, I still feel like I’ll wake up to Adelaide pestering me about falling asleep before everyone else at the big bonfire we had to welcome Niall back to Ireland.

That night seemed like it was only yesterday, but three months had come and gone in a flash. Now I was left helping my boyfriend of barely two months pack his bags to leave me and return to his home.

It’d been a night only a week ago that we’d lain in bed until the wee hours of the morning talking about everything under the stars. He’d barely whispered that little secret, ashamed of it himself. He told me that London had grown to be home, back with his new friends, Harry, Louis, Zayn, and Liam. He admitted that Ireland was behind him, now.

That was the first time he asked me to move in with him.

We’d been dating for barely two months and we’d already kissed. We’d slept together, though the first had been a drunken action, it had still occurred. It was almost scary how quickly things had progressed for us.

He’d almost said he loved me one day…

I stopped him.

“I think I have it all…” He sighed lightly drawing my attention back to the boy I was holding. He was leaning into my touch and I lightly nuzzled my face into his neck.

I groaned lightly before pulling away, almost making Niall lose his balance as I took a step backwards. I instantly missed the feel of his warm body against mine in the chilly flat.

“We better get going then… don’t want you to miss your flight.” I muttered, moving to the door and slipping on a pair of flats despite the snow that had recently fallen outside. Convenience is always a priority…

Long distance relationships are the opposite of convenience…

As the thought crossed my mind, I gave a tortured look to the boy slipping on some sort of loose skater shoes for ease within security. He missed it, thankfully I decided, but there was a frown set on his face.

The drive to the airport was filled with loud music from the radio and minimal conversation.

It was sinking in. Niall was leaving me. I’d come back to my flat in an hour and I’d be alone. Then I’d go to work on Monday and he wouldn’t be there to bring me lunch. I’d come home and half expect to see that cheeky little lad lounging on my couch, watching some program on the television. I’d half expect to see him look at me with those blue eyes and grin ear to ear like he does. I’d expect my face to light up and I’d jokingly come and sit on his stomach. He’d wrap his arms around me and pull me to him so we’d lye together for the rest of the evening… or until Niall began complaining of me trying to starve him to death. We’d then probably go out since I imagine I wouldn’t feel like cooking anything. We’d come home after that and-

“Finn?” My head snapped up and I recognized the parking lot of the massive Dublin airport. I was driving on autopilot the entire time? Scary thoughts, Fionnabhair…

I smiled at him. “Sorry, I was just thinking.” The words slipped from my lips with little enthusiasm as I swung my door open and exited the little car I’d purchased only a while ago when I’d passed my driving test. Niall had yet to get his license.

He studied me for a second as he stood up as well.

“I know. You pull this face when you’re thinking really hard. It’s cute actually…” He murmured, taking my hand by instinct, guiding me into the airport. I frowned at him. Did I pull faces frequently? I had never noticed it before…

The Dublin airport was as busy as ever and Niall and I had to fight our way through the crowd to get to baggage check…. AKA: Goodbye.

I bit my lip, I had no idea what to say. My heart was already aching, an actual pain in my chest. I just wanted to cling to him like a child and beg him to stay. Plead with him to not leave me alone like this.

When had I been alone without Niall before? I had Adelaide and Kieron, Seamus, and Reagan, but I couldn’t pretend that it’d make me happy to have my friends around me with no Niall. I just wanted him. I wanted him with me always, but I couldn’t tell him this. I knew it was hard for him too.

He was going to go live his dream. I was holding him back from that.

“Well, I guess tha-“

This was not the first time Niall Horan had interrupted me mid-sentence to press his soft lips to mine. Of course, I wasn’t about to complain. This could be our last kiss for months.

With that thought I tangled my fingers in his short blonde hair. One of his hands clutched at my hip and the other held my cheek firmly. Our lips parted and moved in a lightly practiced harmony. My eyes squeezed shut, trying to stop the tears from streaming down my face.

We pulled away at the same time, baby blue eyes meeting chocolate brown.

“Please don’t forget about me.” I begged weakly, my voice cracking. His eyes widened.

“Fionnabhair Hellen McCarthy. I will never forget about you. I-I love you, F-finna.”

“I l-love you-ou t-t-too, Ni-niall” I sobbed, clutching his jacket.

He kissed me tenderly and sweetly. “I have to go, but this isn’t the end, Finn… God, I love you so much.” His lips pressed to mine for a final time.

And then I was watching him walk away from me.