I'll Be Right Beside You

“Thanks again for coming out Jordan,” Cam repeated as we danced to some slow country song. Her arms were around my shoulders, mine were tight around her waist as we swayed back and forth, not paying attention to the music. Neither of us had much of a sense of rhythm anyways, so it wouldn’t have mattered even if we had been paying attention. The fact that she was there, in my arms, looking at me the way I remembered… that was it. It was everything to me, and I knew I had everything I ever wanted in that one, single moment.

“Anything for you Cam,” my voice felt thick, and I struggled to push the words out in a whisper as I dipped my head to lean my forehead against hers. I felt the sigh leave her lips as her body seemed to meld itself against mine; soft curves fitting perfectly against me, like she was made for me. Maybe she was.

“I love you,” I nearly stopped short, throwing Cam slightly off-balance in her high heels as I stared down at her. I mean, she’d let on to it, even round-about mentioned that she still did, but hadn’t actually out-and-out said it to me since all of this had happened.

“Y-you… what did you say?”

Her stormy eyes lit up, a playful but shy smile on her face as she cupped my cheeks in both her hands and held me at eye level. “I love you.”

That was all it took to pull her into a hug and spin her around once, her giggling in my ear the entire time and quieting when I put her feet back on the floor. Our lips met in the middle, both of us going in for a kiss at the same time, bringing smiles to both of our faces. When we pulled apart I could see a questioning look on a few of the guys faces – Sidney, who had Becka all but tugging on him wanting to know what was going on, Marc, TK, Geno – and I couldn’t keep the shit eating grin off my face as I sent a wink in their general direction before returning my full attention to my fiancée.

The song changed, and before I could react Becka and Rose had swooped in and stole Cam, nearly toppling her over in her shoes, Becka proclaiming it was “their song” at the top of her lungs. I could only chuckle and shake my head as I moved to find a seat, and soon had Sid waving me over to one of the small crowds of Penguins players. The hesitation still hadn’t left, even after finding that these guys were going above and beyond to make an effort to kind of re-learn who I’d become, but I was still mortified of being left in the dust.

“What was all that about? I thought Becka was going to have a heart attack,” Sid smirked, and I shrugged, turning my eyes to the three girls acting like goofballs in the middle of the dance floor, and noticed Vero had joined in.

“It’s not that big of a deal…” I shrugged, but Geno shook his head.

“Look like big deal Gronk,” he raised an eyebrow, and I figured it couldn’t hurt to mention it.

“She said she loved me. I mean, it’s just… the first time since… you know…” TK let out a whoop and clapped me hard on the shoulder, Geno held up his hand for a high five, Tanger was grinning ear to ear, and Sid looked a little dumbstruck before a smile started creeping its way onto his face.

“Seriously?! Dude that’s awesome!! I mean I figured you two were a thing again but nobody really said anything…” TK’s babbling soon seemed to be drowned out when I saw James walking over. Something had the hair on the back of my neck prickling up, and I still couldn’t figure out what it was. He and Rosa had been together for a long, long time, I knew that, but something between us was… off.

“Hey, good to see ya,” he nodded politely at me when everyone else beckoned for him to sit down. Geno sent me a worried look, as if the Russian could read my mind. The conversation was kind of muted, until TK opened his mouth about me and Cam. It was as if someone had flipped a switch; the tension around the table intensified tenfold, and James’ friendly smile disappeared in a heartbeat.

“Yeah? When did that happen?” he asked, brown eyes slightly narrowed at me.

“We’ve been talking it through for a while… our feelings haven’t changed, so we’re gonna work through it,” I shrugged, hoping to be able to speak as little as possible. I didn’t want to cause a problem with him – I didn’t remember why we didn’t like each other, but Rose was one of Cam’s best friends and I wasn’t going to do anything that could do anything to their friendship.

“Oh, I didn’t know that. Where are you, again?” he asked, and although I recognized the little jab he made at me I chose to act ignorant, thinking of my fiancée’s wellbeing instead.

“Well I was in Carolina – I was coaching Parker’s hockey team while I was getting things figured out,” I allowed, and then took a deep breath. “But, depending on what Cam’s doing with her contract and all, I might be moving back to Pittsburgh and we’ll get a place.”

Just as I’d suspected, the news seemed to shock the men who used to be my teammates, before all but James got the same elated look on their faces as they had at my earlier news. They were all genuinely happy about it, which was nice. I had worried that I wouldn’t have that kind of support over the relationship thing when everybody else knew what had gone on but me.

“That’s awesome Jord; we miss you around the Burgh,” Sid told me, and after a moment his smile dimmed.

“Wait… do you mean Cam’s thinking of going elsewhere?”

That led to a thick silence. We all heard the song change, but nobody moved. I cleared my throat before shrugging.

“I don’t have a clue. I just wasn’t trying to assume anything, you know?”

“Well, if she was thinking of going anywhere it would probably be New York or Carolina, eh? With your brothers being there and all?” TK asked.

“I really have no idea. We haven’t talked about it – we’ve just been taking things a day at a time,” I downed the remainder of my drink then, hoping someone would take the hint and change the topic of conversation before I caused any trouble. I hadn’t meant to cause a stir with the guys by my word choice, but it seemed like I couldn’t avoid some kind of screw up.

“You going to play again?” James’ voice cut through. It was the hard question that I hated when anyone asked.

“I don’t know,” it came out nearly a whisper, because it held all of my fears and uncertainties about my future in one small question. In a lot of ways I dearly wanted to, because hockey was what I knew, even with my missing memory, and I wanted memories of playing in the NHL to pass down to my kids someday. But if I didn’t play, that left a lot more opportunities open for Cam.

“Let’s not worry about that right now; what’s important is we’re all here and healthy and Marc finally go the lead out of his ass and married his girl,” TK quickly butted in and steered things away, and I knew he didn’t miss the grateful smile I had for him.

“Hey guys!” without having to see her I dropped my arm to let Cam slide onto my lap, seeing all the chairs taken. Her cheeks were flushed from a mix of alcohol and dancing, the hall having heated up as more bodies were moving on the dance floor.

“Look at you – who knew there was a real girl hiding in there?” Matt Niskanen asked as he pulled up a chair on her other side, earning a punch to the shoulder as she laughed and then tucked a curl behind her ear.

“She wasn’t happy about being exposed but I drug her out,” she shrugged, playing along with him. I was able to sit there quietly as they all talked, and noticed that James was doing the same thing. Cam was oblivious to the tension between us, but from the look Rose had, she wasn’t falling for it.

“Hey there Gronk, why don’t we grab some drinks?” she asked just minutes later, noticing many were running low, and that the two of ours were empty. I nodded, and Cam’s eyes widened as she stood up to let me do the same. I pecked her cheek and gave her a smile, before following her friend toward the bar.

“What’s going on?” she hissed as soon as we were out of hearing range of the table. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, taking a quick look around before turning to her.

“I’m not sure, to be honest. I was talking with the guys, then James came over and it kind of… I don’t know… I don’t wanna say felt like he was attacking me but,”

“But he was. Jesus,” she huffed, signaling to the bartender.

“I didn’t want to start anything so I didn’t say anything,” I mumbled as she rattled off the drinks, plus two shots.

“Look, I don’t know if you remember, but we hadn't got along too terribly well after you guys broke up,” she started, and I nodded. She’d spent a day with me after the accident and hadn’t made a secret of it. “But I gotta give you credit. You guys are good when you’re good, and before that whole mess I thought you were a great guy. I know you don’t remember anything, and I know that it makes you a different person now, and I think that you should get another chance as long as Cam is willing to give it to you. You aren’t the same people anymore, so to me the outcome won’t necessarily be the same. James… James doesn’t think the same.”

“I know he and Cam were really close… but does he really hate me that much?” I asked, and she shrugged.

“I don’t know. He hates talking about it, and just clams up and gets all pissy. It drives me up the wall. I mean, I don’t think anybody was angrier with you than me except for Becka and Steve, and now… it’s like he’s holding a grudge over it or something. But I do want to apologize, because you haven’t done anything to deserve it,” she replied, and I felt my throat constrict a little as she tossed down a shot.

“No, that’s not true, and you know it—”

“Jordan, you aren’t even that person anymore. We both know it. You’ve done nothing to deserve this from James. Hell, even Steve and Becka are friendly with you and trying. If anything, the way you’re fighting for her and making this effort? That’s something I think the old Jordan was too scared to do, and I have to give you props for finally doing this for her. This was what she needed after that mess right before your accident, and I think this is good for you. For both of you. And I saw that ring Jordan; I’m really happy for you,” she explained. I couldn’t resist but pull her into a hug, glad to have somebody finally think that what I was doing wasn’t cruel and wrong.

“Thank you so much. That means a lot to me,”

“I’m glad it does. Now down this shit and help me carry some drinks,” she huffed at me, resuming the gruff behavior she always kept around me as she pushed the other shot glass at me. I downed it, the liquor burning before grabbing as many glasses as possible and letting her lead back through the crowd toward everyone. If even Rose was willing to give me a second chance, then I’d do my damndest to ignore James enough for him to get a hint.