Status: please no hate XD i know my grammar sucks and im a shit writer XD
Don't Leave Me Alone in This Bed
Miserable At Best
*Mathieu’s POV*
Okay, I had to admit that maybe I was being a little harsh on Samuel during lunch and the whole week. I had been avoiding him all week, but it’s not my fault! I can’t really hang around with him or I’ll probably do something that I’ll regret and it will mess up our friendship. I really missed him, although it was my fault that we haven’t been spending a lot of time together. When I saw him kiss Jasey I felt my heart break. If it wasn’t a guy, would he love me back? I know it’s stupid, but sometimes I wish I was born a girl so he would take interest in me because last time I checked, he wasn’t gay.
I wish I would like girls instead of boys, but what can you do? You can’t help who you fall in love with. I was do deep in thought that I didn’t hear the bell ring, announcing that we’re free from this cage they trapped us all into.
“Mathieu, hello, are you alright?” I heard someone ask, pulling me from my thoughts. I looked up to see Mr. Bazin leaning on my desk, looking at me with a concerned look. That’s when I noticed that everyone had left the classroom.
“Do you like school that much that you don’t wan to leave?” he asked with a slight chuckle. I blushed, embarrassed with myself.
“Sorry, I was lost in my thoughts and didn’t hear the bell ring.” I said as I stood from my seat and quickly grabbing my binders to make it any more awkward than it was.
“No worries. Is there something bothering you, Mathieu? You haven’t been acting like your normal self lately, you know, the loud hyper kid who always interrupts my class and gets thrown out of the class at least two times a week.”
I couldn tell he was worried about me. That’s the thing with Mr. Bazin, no matter how much I annoyed him, he never seemed to hate me.
“Not really, just teenage problems.” I said, forcing him a small smile and throwing my bag over my shoulder. I started heading towards the door.
“Do you want to talk about it? I’m not only here to teach you, I’m also here to help you with your problems.” he said, crossing his arms as he watched me. I stopped before I reached the door.
“Can you make me fall out of love with a boy.” I whispered.
“I’m sorry? I didn’t quite catch that.” he said. I hesitated and took in a deep breath, turning around to face him.
“What would you do if the thing you loved and needed the most was right in front of you, a arm length away, but you were slowly drifting away. And you knew that if you reached for it, it would shatter and it would never be the same again. No matter how much you would try to fix it, it will never return to it’s normal state. And if you let it go, let it be happy with someone else, will you watch, regretting.”
I said and we both fell silent, I immediately regretted saying that. The tension in the air was unbearable. My heart started beating faster, scared that he would judge me. He scratched his bald head as he thought, almost as if he knew what i really meant. My feelings for Sam.
“Well that’s a hard question.” he laughed. He mumbled something i couldn't hear and he started laughing at his own joke. He pulled himself together then made eye contact with me. Without breaking it he started.
“Well, if it was me I would slowly pull it back to me until it wa right in front of me, in my reach again. Then, I would take it. Even thought there’s a chance that it would be ruined, but there’s also a chance that it would stay with me. I would rather take the chance than not take it and sulk around for the rest of my life, wondering how it could of been if I did take it. You never know what will happen until you try.” he said and smile slightly, as if he saw right trough me.
“Now, hurry up and go have fun. MY boyfriend is waiting for me at home.” he said.
“Thanks Mr.Bazin.” I smiled at him, feeling a lump form in my throat. I turned around and sped over to my locker. I had to think of something else before I started crying. Now that I have an idea of what to do about my ‘situation’, I felt kind of relieved. I knew I had to take the chance and I was going to do exactly that. I had to make my move before he gets to involved with Jasey and then they’ll be no chance at all. I was scared, what if I told him about my feelings and he rejected me? That would ruin our friendship. I had to keep reminding myself that there is a chance that he felt the same way. Why is love so complicated?
You know what, im going to cheer myslef up. I was going to get drunk and make my decision, yeah, that would help. I grabbed my ipod and my other stuff and headed towards the bar for the night. I was pretty high and mighty about this plan, i would take it slow, real slow.
For once in my life i thought i was happy.
Okay, I had to admit that maybe I was being a little harsh on Samuel during lunch and the whole week. I had been avoiding him all week, but it’s not my fault! I can’t really hang around with him or I’ll probably do something that I’ll regret and it will mess up our friendship. I really missed him, although it was my fault that we haven’t been spending a lot of time together. When I saw him kiss Jasey I felt my heart break. If it wasn’t a guy, would he love me back? I know it’s stupid, but sometimes I wish I was born a girl so he would take interest in me because last time I checked, he wasn’t gay.
I wish I would like girls instead of boys, but what can you do? You can’t help who you fall in love with. I was do deep in thought that I didn’t hear the bell ring, announcing that we’re free from this cage they trapped us all into.
“Mathieu, hello, are you alright?” I heard someone ask, pulling me from my thoughts. I looked up to see Mr. Bazin leaning on my desk, looking at me with a concerned look. That’s when I noticed that everyone had left the classroom.
“Do you like school that much that you don’t wan to leave?” he asked with a slight chuckle. I blushed, embarrassed with myself.
“Sorry, I was lost in my thoughts and didn’t hear the bell ring.” I said as I stood from my seat and quickly grabbing my binders to make it any more awkward than it was.
“No worries. Is there something bothering you, Mathieu? You haven’t been acting like your normal self lately, you know, the loud hyper kid who always interrupts my class and gets thrown out of the class at least two times a week.”
I couldn tell he was worried about me. That’s the thing with Mr. Bazin, no matter how much I annoyed him, he never seemed to hate me.
“Not really, just teenage problems.” I said, forcing him a small smile and throwing my bag over my shoulder. I started heading towards the door.
“Do you want to talk about it? I’m not only here to teach you, I’m also here to help you with your problems.” he said, crossing his arms as he watched me. I stopped before I reached the door.
“Can you make me fall out of love with a boy.” I whispered.
“I’m sorry? I didn’t quite catch that.” he said. I hesitated and took in a deep breath, turning around to face him.
“What would you do if the thing you loved and needed the most was right in front of you, a arm length away, but you were slowly drifting away. And you knew that if you reached for it, it would shatter and it would never be the same again. No matter how much you would try to fix it, it will never return to it’s normal state. And if you let it go, let it be happy with someone else, will you watch, regretting.”
I said and we both fell silent, I immediately regretted saying that. The tension in the air was unbearable. My heart started beating faster, scared that he would judge me. He scratched his bald head as he thought, almost as if he knew what i really meant. My feelings for Sam.
“Well that’s a hard question.” he laughed. He mumbled something i couldn't hear and he started laughing at his own joke. He pulled himself together then made eye contact with me. Without breaking it he started.
“Well, if it was me I would slowly pull it back to me until it wa right in front of me, in my reach again. Then, I would take it. Even thought there’s a chance that it would be ruined, but there’s also a chance that it would stay with me. I would rather take the chance than not take it and sulk around for the rest of my life, wondering how it could of been if I did take it. You never know what will happen until you try.” he said and smile slightly, as if he saw right trough me.
“Now, hurry up and go have fun. MY boyfriend is waiting for me at home.” he said.
“Thanks Mr.Bazin.” I smiled at him, feeling a lump form in my throat. I turned around and sped over to my locker. I had to think of something else before I started crying. Now that I have an idea of what to do about my ‘situation’, I felt kind of relieved. I knew I had to take the chance and I was going to do exactly that. I had to make my move before he gets to involved with Jasey and then they’ll be no chance at all. I was scared, what if I told him about my feelings and he rejected me? That would ruin our friendship. I had to keep reminding myself that there is a chance that he felt the same way. Why is love so complicated?
You know what, im going to cheer myslef up. I was going to get drunk and make my decision, yeah, that would help. I grabbed my ipod and my other stuff and headed towards the bar for the night. I was pretty high and mighty about this plan, i would take it slow, real slow.
For once in my life i thought i was happy.