Status: please no hate XD i know my grammar sucks and im a shit writer XD
Don't Leave Me Alone in This Bed
The Hardest Thing To Say Is "I'm Sorry"
*Samuel’s POV*
“Come on, answer me, I know you’re here.” I called out to the lonely forgotten playground that hasn’t been used in forever. I scanned the empty area, desperately looking for my best friend.
“Ugh, stop yelling so much. You’re in a public place, you could wake someone up.” he said. I grinned when I head his voice.
“It’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon, you’re the only one sleeping at this time of day. Not to mention that you’re sleeping in a park.” I chuckled.
“Well it’s dark where I am, so shut up.” he grumbled. I went over to the tube slide, looking in it and finding Mathieu laying there.
“Still as sassy as usual.” I said in a joking manor, watching him.
“Well if someone would you up this early, you would be sassy too!” he said, he sure was grumpy.
“It’s two in the afternoon!” I reminded him.”Yet again, you usually aren’t awake until four.” I said then stuck my head into the tunnel to see my hungover friend just laying there, looking confused.
”Boo!” I yelled. He shot up, banging his head.
“Jesus fuck, what was that for?! Do you want me to knock myself out then die. Do you want me to die?” he said, rubbing his head.
I laughed
.”Yes, I do because you ruined my perfect date with Jasey. Now, move your fat ass over I’m coming in.” I said as I climbed inside and sat beside him.
“Wait, what? No, get the hell out this is my chilling place.” he said, trying to push me out of the slide.
“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong, you’ve been acting strange all week.” I said, raising my voice. He stopped pushing me and sighed.
“Sorry.” I said as we fell silent, both of us trying to think of something to say.
“We used to fit perfectly in here, now we’re kinda just squished.” I said, trying to break the ice.
“You’re to close.” he mumbled.
"Well sorry, it’s not like we have much choice, and why didn’t you want me to come in? Were friends, aren’t we?” I asked.
“You make me really nervous, whenever you get really close my heart tenses up, I don’t like it.” He said.
“Ugh, you smell like alcohol, how much did you drink last night?” I asked trying to change the subject.
“I don’t know, can’t remember.” he said quietly.
“Of course you can’t.” I said, disappointed in him.
We sat in silence for awhile enjoying each other’s company. It wasn’t an awkward silence, it was a very conformable one.
“Why aren’t you acting like yourself this week? You have ignored me all week. I don’t like this. You made a promise, remember?” I said and looked in his hazel eyes, I could tell he was very tired. He didn’t say anything, just sat there thinking of what to say. He leaned his head on my shoulder and nuzzled his face into my neck. I jumbed as his hair rubbed up against my bare neck.
“Stop, that tickles!” I said, trying to push him away.
“Just let me stay like this for a while, please.” he whimpered. I stopped struggling. We sat like that until he started talking.
“I’m fucked up again, I shouldn’t be doing this but I can’t stop thinking of you. I hurt you again, I shouldn’t lie anymore so the next few words are true. Never again, never again will I leave you high and dry. This time, I more than mean it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry i’m not what you wanted. I’m sorry I let you down. I could use some poor excuse, cause’ the hardest thing to say…” he paused, taking a deep breath.
”The hardest thing to say is: I’m sorry.” he said. I just sat there, not knowing what to say. I felt like a 8 year old kid just experiencing betrayal, finding out that not all is going to stay in your life forever.
“I really wish I could tell you what’s wrong, but I can’t. I’m sorry, but I promise you…” he said, cupping my face into his hands. Tears were shining in his eyes.
”I promise you I will tell you, one day. So trust me okay? Please just…trust me.” he finished and smiled at me. My heart started to beat faster.
What was this feeling? I really hated it. For the first time which seems like forever, I didn’t feel alone. I didn’t feel the emptiness in my stomach, I felt…I felt at home.
“Come on, answer me, I know you’re here.” I called out to the lonely forgotten playground that hasn’t been used in forever. I scanned the empty area, desperately looking for my best friend.
“Ugh, stop yelling so much. You’re in a public place, you could wake someone up.” he said. I grinned when I head his voice.
“It’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon, you’re the only one sleeping at this time of day. Not to mention that you’re sleeping in a park.” I chuckled.
“Well it’s dark where I am, so shut up.” he grumbled. I went over to the tube slide, looking in it and finding Mathieu laying there.
“Still as sassy as usual.” I said in a joking manor, watching him.
“Well if someone would you up this early, you would be sassy too!” he said, he sure was grumpy.
“It’s two in the afternoon!” I reminded him.”Yet again, you usually aren’t awake until four.” I said then stuck my head into the tunnel to see my hungover friend just laying there, looking confused.
”Boo!” I yelled. He shot up, banging his head.
“Jesus fuck, what was that for?! Do you want me to knock myself out then die. Do you want me to die?” he said, rubbing his head.
I laughed
.”Yes, I do because you ruined my perfect date with Jasey. Now, move your fat ass over I’m coming in.” I said as I climbed inside and sat beside him.
“Wait, what? No, get the hell out this is my chilling place.” he said, trying to push me out of the slide.
“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong, you’ve been acting strange all week.” I said, raising my voice. He stopped pushing me and sighed.
“Sorry.” I said as we fell silent, both of us trying to think of something to say.
“We used to fit perfectly in here, now we’re kinda just squished.” I said, trying to break the ice.
“You’re to close.” he mumbled.
"Well sorry, it’s not like we have much choice, and why didn’t you want me to come in? Were friends, aren’t we?” I asked.
“You make me really nervous, whenever you get really close my heart tenses up, I don’t like it.” He said.
“Ugh, you smell like alcohol, how much did you drink last night?” I asked trying to change the subject.
“I don’t know, can’t remember.” he said quietly.
“Of course you can’t.” I said, disappointed in him.
We sat in silence for awhile enjoying each other’s company. It wasn’t an awkward silence, it was a very conformable one.
“Why aren’t you acting like yourself this week? You have ignored me all week. I don’t like this. You made a promise, remember?” I said and looked in his hazel eyes, I could tell he was very tired. He didn’t say anything, just sat there thinking of what to say. He leaned his head on my shoulder and nuzzled his face into my neck. I jumbed as his hair rubbed up against my bare neck.
“Stop, that tickles!” I said, trying to push him away.
“Just let me stay like this for a while, please.” he whimpered. I stopped struggling. We sat like that until he started talking.
“I’m fucked up again, I shouldn’t be doing this but I can’t stop thinking of you. I hurt you again, I shouldn’t lie anymore so the next few words are true. Never again, never again will I leave you high and dry. This time, I more than mean it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry i’m not what you wanted. I’m sorry I let you down. I could use some poor excuse, cause’ the hardest thing to say…” he paused, taking a deep breath.
”The hardest thing to say is: I’m sorry.” he said. I just sat there, not knowing what to say. I felt like a 8 year old kid just experiencing betrayal, finding out that not all is going to stay in your life forever.
“I really wish I could tell you what’s wrong, but I can’t. I’m sorry, but I promise you…” he said, cupping my face into his hands. Tears were shining in his eyes.
”I promise you I will tell you, one day. So trust me okay? Please just…trust me.” he finished and smiled at me. My heart started to beat faster.
What was this feeling? I really hated it. For the first time which seems like forever, I didn’t feel alone. I didn’t feel the emptiness in my stomach, I felt…I felt at home.