Don't Leave Me Alone in This Bed

*Mathieu’s POV*



The cold October air always finds a way to slip it’s way into your coat to steal the little warmth you had. The breeze would chill you righ down to the bones. I let out a long sigh and looked up at the cold night sky. I slowly took a deep breath feeling the cold air rush into my lungs as the coldness would pinch my throat. I could barly feel my legs, but I kept on walking. I knew the faster I walked, the faster I would be inside.

I kept my eyes locked to the sky as I walked. Whenever I look at the sky, it was as if my troubles would leave and hide amongst the stars. I wish they could, then no one would ever have any problems. They would all be hidden amongst the stars, forgotten for eternity. But yet, they would still be there. 

I could faintly hear the sound of the club from the distance. The booming of the overplayed club music and the shouts from drunken men and women.

Faster, I told myself, move faster. I quickened my pace, trying to keep the little body heat that October had not taken from me yet. 

God, today was a mess. I found out that Sam kind of hated gays and then I accidentally let my feelings slip out for him and everyone heard. Today was a bad day, no other way to say it. Maybe if I transfered schools it would be easier. I would be away from Sam and I wouldn’t have the urges to push him up against the wall every time I see him.



I finally arrived at the bar. If the sky wouldn’t take away my problems, alcohol would. I took one last breath of the chilly air and went inside the noisy club. I pushed myself threw the barly sober people trying to dance and sat down on a stool by the bar.



“Hey, haven’t seen you lately.” I knew that voice. I lifted my head to see a lanky dude with a crooked smile and a horrible hair cut.



“Hey Louis! Yea I’ve been pretty busy these days. What the fuck is wrong with your hair? You look like a fucking mushroom.” I asked, pointing to the horror sitting on his head.



“To you it may be just a ugly hair cut that looks like a mushroom, but for me it was 50 bucks,” He did a fake hair flip trying to show off.

I laughed.



“Yeah, yeah. You laugh now, but you’ll see, I’m bringing sexy back!” He winked at me. I rolled my eyes.



“Just get me the usual but with a little more kick to it, and 2 shots of vodka.” I said. He stares at me. 



“I’ll be right back.” He hurried off to mix my drink. 

I looked around my surroundings. The lights are just as annoying as the first time I came here. They would flicker on and off in different colors.

There was a bunch of people dirty dancing on the floor. They’re going to have one heck of a hangover tomorrow. Some were making out here and there and as usual they had the douche bags in the back making a huge scene.



“Here you go buddy’” I sigh and turn around and take the first shot of vodka. I bring the cold glass to my lips and I pour the hot yet cold liquid in my mouth as I swallow it all at once. I feel it burn my throat as it makes it way down. Sometimes you need that one anchor that keeps your feet on the ground, well this is mine.

The pain just slaps you in the face asking where the fuck you went wrong. 

Fell in love with my best friend, that’s a good life wrecker

.

“Ahh, jesus, that feels good.” I say as I pick up the next.


“So, what’s wrong? You’ve been sighing ever since you got here.” Louis looks at me. That’s what I like about him, he can always sense when something is not right. I look at him then back to my vodka.

Him.

Shot.

I quickly take it then put my attention back to him.

“Just stuff,” I say with a shrug and I take a quick sip of my Bloody Mary to get over the horrible taste of the shots.

“Got any redbull?” I ask. Louis quickly disappears then comes back as fast as he left. 



“Here.”

He hands me the can. As I go to grab it he pulls it back.

“Only if you tell me what’s wrong.” Damn it. Cheeky brat. 



“Yeah, yeah. Gimme gimme!” I say as I grab the red bull and mix it in my tiny glass of vodka.



“So, explain.” He says. 



“Hey, hey hold up now!” I slur. “Give me some time to loosen up!” I say and I chug my new creation of vodka and red bull.



Damn those hit hard. I can already feel the room spinning.



“You only come drinking when you have problems, you and Sam are the same, now tell me what’s wrong.”



Sam. Not the person I want to be thinking about right now. I pick up my Bloody Mary and take a few sips before speaking. The cold glass against my lips and then the warm liquid that overcomes my mouth it’s a very welcoming sensation.



“It’s that, I can’t stop thinking about this one person. Like no matter what I do I can’t stop thinking about them. When I see them at school I get butterflies and I feel my gut tighten. Like when I see them sometimes I just want to be friends, like it would be enough for me but then other times I just want to scream I love them and pin them up against the wall and ruin everything just to please my lust.” I hope he won’t notice I’m talking about Sam.

I start feeling nervous as I realize I’m tracing the round of the glass of my Bloody Mary with both thumbs.

“I don’t know what to do,” I say, almost as a whisper.



“Well I can tell you one thing, Alcohol isn’t the way.” He replies.



“But when I’m sober I feel pain, only pain.” I look at him, almost desperate for an answer, or for anything.


“Go for it! Tell him how you feel, and if it works it works and if it doesn’t, it wasn’t made to be. Seriously I don’t know what to tell you. Do what you want.” He says with reassuring eyes .



Him. So I guess he must know it’s Sam. But the funny thing is, whenever I imagine myself with other guys it’s disgusting, but thinking of me and Sam together. It’s normal. Perfect. 

But truthfully, all I want is not to be hated by Sam.



“Come on, I’ll pay for round two.” He grins at me.



“Deal.”

I say as I take my 4th shot. Just for tonight I want to forget about Sam. Just let my thoughts slip away. 

But it didn’t happen.
 Oh god no, it was completely the oposite.