Find Your Own Way

Walking back to the conference room with David, Zacky bit his lip. Val had told them what happened. She was so shaken up that Matt had had a hard time calming her down.

“She’s sure right? About seeing me?” he asked looking in through the window.

“She requested you personally,” David said smiling. “I’ll be back in the waiting room if she needs me.”

Nodding Zacky pushed open the door and closed it behind him. He wasn’t sure what to say so he just went and sat in the chair next to her.

Looking up she gave him a weak smile. “Hi,” she whispered biting her lip. “Aunt Val told me that you were afraid I wasn’t gonna let you see me.”

“Yeah well,” Zacky said. “God Ari, we all want to hug you but…”

“I know,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, we understand. So how are you doing? Meet any cool people?”

“I’m in rehab the only people in here are fellow drug sluts,” Ari said. “There is a girl though, her name is Sarah.”

“Oh? You like her?” Zacky asked laughing a little.

“Not like that,” Ari laughed. “How are you guys?”

“Excited to see you,” Zacky smiled. “Your dad seriously didn’t get any sleep last night.”

Bowing her head Ari tried to process the information.

“Don’t worry Ari, he’s fine,” Zacky said. “Dan called us yesterday. He’ll be stopping by too.”

Ari nodded. “Yeah, he said he’d come in his letter,” she said softly. “He gave me the letter that Max wrote him. He wanted me to understand more.”

“And do you?” Zacky implored. He was watching her closely. She looked so much healthier. She was no longer a skeleton, a shell of who she once was, and her skin was no longer grayish.

“Yeah, I understood when we had talked, now I just,” she paused and looked at Zacky. “I feel like I knew her in some weird way.”

Nodding Zacky looked up at the door and saw a guy staring in at them. “Uhh, who’s that?”

Looking back Ari sighed and flipped the stranger off. “His name is Max. He’s a jerk.”

“Oh,” Zacky replied. “So…”

“I don’t know who to see next,” Ari said.

“How come you picked me? I mean I’m happy and relieved but don’t you want to see your parents first?”

“I… I hurt you guys so much. I don’t. I’m afraid to see them. Please don’t tell them that, I just,” she paused and wiped at her eyes. She didn’t want to cry again. “Aunt Val just told me that you were afraid and yeah.”

“There’s always Matt and Johnny,” Zacky laughed. “You might want to see Johnny before your dad punches him again though. He’s still pissed about the whole Big Bear thing.”

“Jack would be in there before it go too violent,” Ari muttered. “I don’t know why Johnny even told Dad that. He would have never known.”

Zacky shrugged. “It was eating at him I guess.”

“Send Johnny in then, and tell Dad to calm himself,” Ari said.

“Alright, do you want to see your counselor first? Or just send in Johnny?”

“Johnny,” she spoke swallowing the lump in her throat. “Zacky?” she asked when he reached the door.

“Yeah?”

“I wish I could hug you,” she whispered looking down at the floor. “And thank you, for everything.”

“Don’t need to thank me,” Zacky said. “I’ll send Johnny in.”

Going back to the room he smiled at everyone. “It went well. She requested Johnny. And she told me to tell you Gates to calm yourself, about Johnny,” he explained when Brian’s expression grew confused.

“David I need you down at the conference room,” Peggy said quickly running down the hall.

Nodding David ran off after her.

Looking around at the guys Johnny raised his eyebrows. “Should I go too?”

“I think we should wait for David to get back,” Michelle stated hugging Brian. Hopefully Ari hadn’t gotten in to any trouble.



“And stay away from me,” Ari shouted at Max. “Dick fucker!”

Sighing David blocked Ari’s view from the kid. “What happened?”

“He came in knowing full well I was having visitors and he was just asking why the hell Zacky was here, ‘cause Zacky’s in a band, and I was just like ‘He’s family. Go away.’ and he wasn’t believing it, so I kicked him,” Ari explained. “I’ll still be able to see my family right?”

“Ari you kicked someone, do you think you should be allowed to?” David asked watching her bow her head.

“I’ve been waiting a month,” she whispered sadly. “Please David.”

“I’ll allow you two more today,” David said sitting next to her in the conference room.

Taking a deep breath Ari bit her lip. “Just Johnny and Matt. I can’t face dad or mom yet,” Ari whispered. “They’re going to be upset though.”

“They’ll understand though Ari, if you want I can talk to them for you,” David said rubbing her back.

“Just tell them that I love them,” Ari said. “Could you give everyone a hug for me too?”

“Alright, who do you want me to send in first, Johnny or Matt?”

Watching David walk back to the door Ari shrugged. “I guess Matt, he probably wants to get home to his kid.”

Nodding David made his way down to the waiting room once more. “Sorry about that. One of the other patients was causing trouble. Ari’s only being allowed two more visitors today. Matt,” David said gesturing to the door. “Go down the hall and the conference room is the first door on the left.”

Making his way down the hall Matt sighed. He had a feeling whose Ari’s next visitor would be, and he knew two people would be going home with heavy hearts.

“Hey,” he said opening the door. “You look good.”

“Thanks,” Ari said smiling. “Hi Uncle Mattie.”

“How’re you doing?” he asked sitting down opposite her. “Val is sorry by the way.”

Nodding Ari bit her lip. “I’m good.”

“Good,” Matt said. Silence filled the room as they looked at each other. “So what happened? Johnny was going to come down and then that woman yelled for David and it sounded like chaos.”

“Yeah I kicked this kid. That’s why I’m only allowed two more visitors, well one now,” Ari explained. “He was being a dick fuck.”

Matt laughed loudly and shook his head. “Dick fuck? Oh Ari, I’ve missed you,” Matt said smiling.

“I’ve missed you guys too,” she whispered biting her lip again. “Uncle Matt?”

“Yeah?” Matt asked unsure of what he was about to be asked.

“I yelled at James and then they sent me a picture, and,” she started crying as she thought about it all over again. “Dad hit me.”

Sighing Matt wished like hell that he could hold her. “I know. He’s sorry for it. If it helps he hit me too.”

Furrowing her eyebrows Ari looked at her uncle. Her dad hit him? Why?

“I told him to calm down after he hit Johnny,” Matt laughed. “God he sounds violent, all this hitting. Yeah anyways. He is sorry he hit you.”

Ari nodded and searched her uncles eyes. She bowed her head and sighed. “Can you send David back? I,” she took a deep breath and shook her head. “Thank you for coming.”

“No problem Ari. You want us to come back tomorrow? Or can we do that? I don’t know, I’ll talk to the receptionist,” Matt rambled getting up from his chair. “Love you Ari.”

“Love you too,” she whispered as he walked out of the room.

Looking up she noticed Johnny standing in the doorway. How long had he been there? What about David?

“Hey,” he whispered walking into the room. “I was going to the bathroom and then I saw Matt walk away,” he explained. “How’re you doing?”

“Uncle Johnny,” Ari cried throwing herself into his arms. “I’m so sorry. I’m threw your letter away. And Dad hit you. And I made you guys worry. I’m so sorry,” she sobbed.

Wrapping his arms around her he hugged her to him. “I know, it’s okay,” he whispered rocking her back and forth. “You’re getting help and that’s all we could ever hope.”

“Dad doesn’t hate you does he? Why the hell did you tell him anyways? He never had to know,” Ari ranted pulling herself from his chest to hit him. “You stupid gnome!”

Johnny laughed and shook his head. “I had been planning on telling him for a while. I just thought since you agreed to go to rehab he would be a bit more calm about it,” Johnny explained looking up to see David.

“Oh,” she stated bowing her head again. “Does he hate you though? Because of me.”

Locking gazes with David Johnny just shrugged. “We aren’t talking Ari. And no matter what it would never be because of you. I was the one that chose to smoke with you, you didn’t force it on me.”

“I just don’t want him to hate you,” she muttered. Looking up she realized David had joined them. “Are they leaving?”

David nodded and came to sit beside the two. “They understand. They hope tomorrow you’ll feel more up to it. I told them I’d call them tonight with your answer.”

Ari turned to look at Johnny who gave her a sympathetic smile. “Will you be back tomorrow?” she asked softly.

“If you want me to be,” he told her pushing a piece of hair behind her ear. “You should really see them though Ari. They miss you.”

Ari bowed her head and turned to David. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to see them. She was barely ready to be touched. She had only hugged Johnny because he had been there for her, she never really hurt him as much as she hurt the others.

“I just, I can’t,” she cried. “I can’t.”