You're Just Like Me

The next few weeks passed as well as the first, very few mishaps, unless we are counting technical difficulties, such as my in-ear monitors ceasing to work halfway through our set in Chicago. Roxy hadn’t spoken to her parents again since, but had decided that since she was going to meet my family when we got to Vegas, maybe I could visit hers with her when we got back to LA, which I obviously agreed to.

I was pretty excited as we only had one more show until our day off in Vegas, and I couldn’t wait to see my Dad and brother again. After sound check, me and Rox decided we wanted to spend the afternoon together before we had to be back for the show.

As we walked along looking for a place to have something quick to eat, my mind wandered back to our first date. I’ll never forget how adorable she was and how over excited she had gotten about playing mini golf. I smiled to myself at the memory until I was brought sharply back to reality by the sight of the man walking towards us.

Max Green.

I released Roxy’s hand and wrapped my arm protectively round her shoulders. She clearly remembered him as her grip on me tightened in a supportive manner. As Max then noticed us he smiled at Roxy, causing me to tense up which he clearly noticed. By now we were within talking distance of each other.

‘Guessing everything worked out then, Roxy?’ he asked her, choosing to ignore me.

She simply nodded in return.

‘Have you banned her from talking to me then?’ said Max, finally acknowledging me.

‘Well, I wasn’t thrilled to hear you’d been talking,’ I said, trying to sound as calm as possible.

‘She looked like she needed someone friendly to talk to, and as you’ve clearly forgotten I can be a pretty good friend.’

‘Oh yeah, brilliant!’ I said sarcastically.

‘What did I ever do wrong, Ronnie?’ he asked me.

I cringed at the sound of my name rolling off of my ex-best friends tongue.

‘Other than ditching me when I most needed a friend? Encouraging the drugs we both knew I needed to stop? Kicking me out of our band?’ I was so determined not to lose my temper; feeling Roxy’s arm wrapped tightly round my middle was the only thing keeping me grounded.

‘What was I supposed to do? There were four other people in that band besides you who all wanted to tour, which meant leaving Vegas which was something you couldn’t do.’

Everything he said sounded so matter of fact, like he was just telling a story he was slightly disinterested in.

‘I don’t know, but that band was our thing, you know how much I put into it.’

‘Yeah, but we could hardly spend five years just writing and playing shows in the same city. I’m sorry but as much as I cared about you, you were pretty selfish to expect anything else.’

The calmer Max sounded the more I wanted to snap. How could he not care about those years of friendship that were ruined in an instant? We were like brothers, completely inseparable. Hell, I went to prison for sticking up for him!

‘What about when I went to prison? How much did you care then? Ever since you asked me to leave the band I haven’t had a single correspondence from you! How is that being a good friend?’ My voice came out as a growl as I tried not to shout.

‘I think we both knew it was only a matter of time before you did something stupid that wound you up in jail. I may have been your best friend but I wasn’t blind. You were a reckless person and didn’t think about things before you did them, otherwise you never would have gone to the desert that day. And I just want to say, I never hated you. Any rumours were sparked by Craig. And even though it was none of your business what went on on my MySpace, I do appreciate that you were sticking up for me,’ Max said, as calm as ever.

This time however, his serenity didn’t infuriate me. I kind of felt bad, guilty almost. He’d told me not to get involved, and what did I do? Start a fight with his mate’s boyfriend over something that was never an issue in the first place resulting in a death and my prison sentence.

‘I understand if you’re mad at me for the drug thing, though,’ Max then continued. ‘I have no defence for that given the fact that I’ve just come out of rehab myself.’

‘Yeah, I heard,’ I muttered.

There was a few moments awkward silence before Roxy spoke. ‘Ron, if we want to eat before we have to be back at the venue, we should get going.’

I nodded, and looked back at Max.

‘Well, I guess I’ll see you around,’ I said.

‘I guess,’ Max replied. ‘And, don’t let her go, will you? You need someone like her in your life.’

And with that, he walked on, in the opposite direction to me and Roxy.

‘Come on,’ she said taking my hand and tip-toeing to kiss my cheek.

I let her lead me to a coffee shop she’d spotted just across the road, but I wasn’t really concentrating.

I really didn’t want to like Max after everything that had happened, I needed to blame him for kicking me out of Escape The Fate and helping to fuel the drug addiction, just because it made things easier to deal with. But I couldn’t now. By the end of that conversation it felt like I was talking to my best mate again.

As Roxy pretty much pushed me into a chair, I rested my head on the table. I felt her run her hand through my hair in a comforting way.

‘Babe, the chances are you’re never going to see him again, please cheer up,’ she said.

‘But...’ I raised my head as I started, but I didn’t know how to explain how I felt and let my forehead rest on the table again. I had been so adamant that didn’t miss anything from my pre-jail life and I now realised I kinda missed Max. Maybe that was why I wanted to be mad at him, because I didn’t want to let myself miss him. ‘I’m sure I’ll be fine after the show tonight,’ I told Roxy, but still speaking into the table. ‘It’s just weird thinking about Escape The Fate again, especially in a remotely positive way.’

‘Hey, look at me,’ she said. ‘Come on! If you can be there for me when shit happens with my family, I’m gonna be there for you when shit happens with your old best friend!’ she added when my head didn’t leave the table and guided my face up until my eyes met hers. ‘You needed Escape The Fate in order to get where you are now, but it’s the past, ok? Now you have Falling In Reverse. Jacky and Ryan and Derek and Ron. They are your friends and they will be there for you, just as I will, yeah?’

I sighed, and closed my eyes briefly.

‘I know, it’s just... talking to him again after years of silence... we were so tight, you know? No one ever thought we would be separated,’ I said, by way of explanation. ‘But I have the guys now,’ I added more to myself than to Roxy.

‘Exactly,’ said Roxy. ‘Think of that meeting as closure. You’ve had a chance to talk thing over with him and get all of that off your chest and now you are moving on with a new band, and no drugs. This will be better in the long run.’

‘He was right,’ I said, staring at Roxy.

‘What do you mean?’

‘I really need you in my life.’

She smiled in a way that said she understood how I felt and then said: ‘Come on, let’s order or we’re never gonna eat.’