I'll Be Okay

“I’m sorry.” My aunt whispered as I stepped past her, grabbing my medication and bringing it up to my room. I quickly took the pills before I tossed the two bottles into my purse, zipping it shut. Jenn huffed from across the hall, a few things clattering on the floor before she groaned loudly, a few more things falling on her bedroom floor. “Lindsey,” My aunt persisted, stepping into my bedroom quietly.

“Stop.” I whispered, running a hand through my messy hair before I sighed, grabbing my shoes from my closet and taking a seat on my bed. I untied the laces before I quickly pulled the shoes onto my feet. I looked up slowly, my eyes meeting my aunt’s as she stood still in the doorway. Keeping silent, I grabbed my bag and made my way toward my dresser.

“Will you just let me talk, please?” She whispered, but I just shook my head. I already told her I don’t want to hear it. “It’s been two weeks, Lindsey. You need to get over this.” She mustered, but I just stopped dead in my tracks, turning to her as I raised an eyebrow.

“Get over what, Aunt Janette? Get over the fact that you accused me of wasting your ‘money’ because I was apparently skipping my therapy sessions to see ‘some boy’? Or get over the fact that I will never get my mother back? Or how about I get over the fact that you don’t even want me here in the first place!?” I said, my eyes wide as I emphasized each and every word I spoke. She stood back, dumbfounded as I shoved past her, grabbing my car keys on the way out of my room.

“Just hear me out! I’m sorry I said those things! I’m sorry I freaked out! And I’m sorry your mother is gone! I just want to help you. I promised her I would look after you and I need to keep this promise. For you, for me, and for your mother. Lindsey, please.” She whispered the last few words and I felt my heart drop. Turning, I sighed softly before I nodded my head.

“I’ll be back later.” I whispered, walking out the front door. I grabbed the handle to my Volkswagen when I noticed my driver’s side tire was completely flat. Furrowing my eyebrows, I groaned loudly. Not today. “Jenn!” I exclaimed, catching my cousin’s attention as she walked out of the same house I had quickly left just a second ago. She stopped dead in her tracks, raising an eyebrow. “Where are you going?” I asked her, and she finished walking toward me with her purse clung to her side.

“To the store really fast. Whoa, what happened to your tire?” She asked, and I shrugged my shoulders, not so sure myself.

“Can you drop me off at my therapist’s office on the way? I don’t want to be late.” I muttered, and Jenn nodded quickly, jumping into her driver’s seat. I sighed in relief, jumping in beside her. “Is your mum okay with Harry now?” I asked her, raising my eyebrows as Jenn just smiled with a shrug. She pulled out of the neighborhood and started our way to my therapist’s office.

“She kind of has to be. She can’t take my car away because I pay for it myself and I’m not a kid anymore. We talked about it last week and she’s gonna get over it.” Jenn laughed, and I smiled softly. Jenn peaked at me before looking back at the road. “You’ve been smiling so much the past two weeks, Linds.” Jenn observed and I felt myself shrug. “I just mean…you didn’t smile once for the two months you moved in with me and mum, and now that’s all you do! It’s refreshing, is all.” She said, pulling up in front of the office. I shook my head, laughing softly. “I’ll pick you up in an hour, okay?”

“Thanks Jenn,” I smiled, waving goodbye as I quickly made my way up to my therapist session, still as early as always. I quickly took my seat and pulled out my phone, tapping on a few things to keep my mind off of things. I looked up as Dr. Jones gestured me over and I smiled softly, making my way toward the same seat I sit in each session. I had missed the past few sessions because Dr. Jones went away on a mini vacation, so it’s been two weeks since she’s seen me and her eyebrows raised as she sat.

“It’s good to see you, Lindsey.” She said, and I smiled once more. “I’m sorry I had to cancel the last few meetings; my husband booked us a vacation away and I had no idea until the time came.” She spoke, and I just nodded softly. “So how have you been feeling? Have you been taking your medication?” She asked softly, and I nodded.

“I need to pick up more soon.” I whispered, and she nodded slowly. “And I’ve been feeling perfectly fine lately.” I spoke, and she nodded once more, looking down at the clipboard in her hands. Ever since that one visit where I told her all about my mother, I feel like it’s gotten me more comfortable with her. As if I could tell her anything. I had seen her once before she left for vacation and that’s when she mentioned the incident that one morning, with the blade.

“No more problems?” She asked, and I shook my head quickly. “Positive?” I nodded, followed by her nodding in acceptance. “Alright, good. I know you hate talking about this, Lindsey, but have you thought about your mother lately?” She asked, and I stiffened, my eyes slipping closed as I breathed softly. I nodded slowly. “Do you want to talk about it?” She whispered, and I shook my head quickly, averting eye contact. “How’s your medication working?” She asked, and I bit my lip, shrugging my shoulders.

“Fine, I guess.” I muttered, and she nodded.

“Have you been having nightmares or flashbacks lately?” She whispered, and I felt my eyes slip closed as I held my breath. Finally, I nodded. “What about?” She muttered, and I bit my lip, shaking my head.

“Everything.” I muttered, and I finally opened my eyes, looking into hers. She nodded and wrote something down.

“Does anybody know?” She asked, and I shook my head slowly. In other words, she was asking me if anybody else knew about my disorders and problems. I shook my head once more, looking down at my hands. “Why not?” She asked, and I sighed.

“I don’t want people knowing. It’s not anybody’s business.” I explained, and she sighed, writing something else down on that stupid clipboard.

“But I’m sure someone wants to help you?” She asked, and I thought back to the day Danny had came by because I had locked myself in the bathroom. He dropped everything he was doing because he was told I was in trouble. That made my heart beat rise slightly. For the past two weeks, he’s been keeping me company on walks, out to lunch, and just about everywhere so I’d finally get out of the house. I never ran into my aunt until this morning, mostly because I was avoiding her. But Danny was always there; ready to listen if I ever wanted to talk.

“I can’t tell him everything.” I whispered, running a hand through my curled locks. “He’ll hear it all and then leave, just like any sane person would do. I don’t want to lose my only friend because of my stupid thoughts.”

“He? As in Danny?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. And realization struck me. Oh right, that’s her son. Instantly, I felt a blush shade my cheeks. “My son is something else, believe me. But he’s going to grow curious soon enough. From what you’ve told me, you haven’t told him a single thing. Maybe you should let him in. I recommend it because sometimes, all you need is someone to get into your head and help you figure yourself out.” She said, and right as she finished talking, the clock on her desk started to ring, telling us that our time is up.

“I’ll see you in a few days,” I muttered, grabbing my purse and making my way toward the door. I quickly pulled it open and I came face to face with Danny himself. He smiled down at me and I felt a small smile tug at my lips. “Oh, hi.” I whispered, and he grinned.

“Hello, love. I’m your driver today,” he said, bowing. I giggled, shaking my head as he linked our arms. “Right this way, Miss.” He spoke, faking some accent as he ushered me toward his car. I laughed loudly, shaking my head as he opened the door for me before jumping into the driver’s seat. “Where to?” He asked, and I shrugged my shoulders.

“Anywhere but home.” I said, and he nodded, turning the car onto the main road. I looked over at him, my eyes scanning over every inch of his face. He pulled up to a small diner and smiled at me before getting out, pulling me with him.

“I’m starving.”