I'll Be Okay

“You’re kidding.” Jenn’s mouth dropped open the next afternoon and I just shook my head; a large smile lighting up my cheeks. Emily stood beside her, her expression just as shocked. “Stop. You’re pulling my leg.” She muttered, and I just shook my head again, giggling softly. Jenn sat down on Danny’s bed, her head shaking as she looked up at me. “So he kissed you.”

“No,” I shook my head, running my hand through my straight hair. I turned to look at my reflection. I was wearing a pair of jeans, but the ends were rolled up halfway up my calves, and a lace purple shirt. Danny told me that for our first date, I should dress casual; ‘dress like we were going to the beach, but without a suit.’ I looked well enough. I turned back to my two friends and they were staring at me impatiently. “I kind of kissed him.” I shrugged, and Jenn’s eyebrows shot up into her hair.

“You made the first move!?” Emily nearly shouted and my eyes grew wide before I covered her mouth, a blush shading my cheeks. She quickly recovered and I stepped back, turning toward his closed door. “Sorry.” she whispered, and I sighed softly. Jenn stood up and placed both hands on my shoulders, looking me in the eye.

“Who are you and what have you done with my cousin?” She asked seriously and I felt a laugh escape through my lips.

“Jenn, shut up.” I giggled but she just shook her head.

“No, I’m serious. Three months ago you kept to yourself, you never left the house, and you never laughed, smiled, or knew how to be happy.” She took a deep breath. “And now you’re this bubbly, outgoing, girl. You moved out of the house to live with some bloke, you laugh and smile like its your job and you’re just so…what’s the word…fun! You’re the polar opposite.” She shook her head with a faint smile. “Lindsey, he is exactly what you needed. And no matter how cheesy that sounds, it’s true. I’m so happy for you.” She pulled me into a hug and I felt my heart swell. Emily jumped up and wrapped her arms around us with a laugh.

“Group hug!” She exclaimed and I laughed loudly, shaking my head at my two friends. Maybe they were even best friends, now; Gio too. I have best friends. “We are happy for you, though.” Emily smiled, pulling away and I smiled, biting my lip briefly.

“Thank you. I’m happy too.” I turned back to the mirror before I took a deep breath. “I’m nervous.” I whispered, and Jenn just smiled beside me. “I’ve only known him as a really good friend so thinking about him as something more changes things. I hope I don’t fuck it up. He’s done so much for me, losing him will kill me.” I whispered, and I heard Jenn and Emily take their seats on Danny’s bed.

“And that’s why you won’t lose him. You mean too much to each other. Just act like you did yesterday and you’ll be fine.” Jenn mused and I nodded slowly. “We’re going back to Tom’s with the rest of the group. Now, take a few deep breaths and get out there because he’s been waiting too long.” She giggled and I just smiled, nodding. “Have fun and be safe.” I flushed furiously at her remark and she just snickered, standing up beside Emily. “Have fun on your first date!” They both exclaimed before they left the room, saying a few things to Danny before leaving the flat all together. I looked back at my reflection and sighed softly, biting on my lower lip. Danny appeared beside me and I turned, catching his eye.

“You look perfect,” he spoke softly and I flushed, turning away. He was wearing a pair of skinny jeans, a white t-shirt, and a plaid button-up that was left unbuttoned. He looked great. “Ready to go?” he asked, and I nodded with a smile. He grabbed my hand and we quickly left his apartment, getting into his car that was parked right out front. We left London and I looked over at Danny questionably. “Trust me,” he smiled, and I could help but smile back. I will always trust him. We drove for quite some time, keeping conversations flowing before I realized where we were headed.

“We are literally going to the beach,” I giggled, reading the road signs. He chuckled from beside me and I sat back in my seat, looking over at him briefly. “I don’t remember the last time I went to the beach.” I spoke and he just chuckled, giving me a soft smile.

“I hope it’s alright, then.” He said and I nodded quickly.

“It’s perfect,” I whispered, looking back out the window. After finding a parking spot, we got out and Danny pulled a basket out of the boot of the car. “I see you’ve come prepared.” I giggled, and he just grinned, grabbing my hand. We walked down to the sand and he pulled out a large blanket a few feet away from the water. We took our seats beside each other and Danny placed the basket between us. He pulled out two sandwiches and water bottles, handing one of each to me.

“I didn’t think you’d mind a simple first date. Because that means from here on, it’ll only get better, right?” He grinned and his smile was infectious. To be honest, I’d much rather simple. I’m not one of the types of girls that want to go to fancy restaurants or something. I’d prefer this.

“Actually this is perfect. I prefer simple, to be honest.” We share another smile before digging into our dinners. I fished my sandwich and sat back on my hands, my eyes on the setting sun in front of me. “I love sunsets.” I murmured, before I turned my head. Danny was looking right at me, leaning back on his hands too.

“Me too. It makes your chocolate eyes so light. Beautiful.” He whispered before he gave me a shy smile, looking out at the sunset again. I sat up and placed my hands in my lap, fiddling with my fingers. My eyes fell into my lap and I sighed softly. “Why do you do that?” He spoke at normal volume and I jumped, looking up at him. I pulled my hair behind me ear and Danny moved the basket, scooting closer to me. He placed his hand on my cheek before placing it back in his lap. “I give you a compliment and you shut down. Why?” I turn my head and look back at the waves. “Linds?” I turn my head back to look at him and I shrug.

“I just…” I took a deep breath. “I’m not used to it. I used to never get compliments and it just throws me off, I guess.” I shrug my shoulders again.

“What about past boyfriends?” he whispered, and I looked up at him, shaking my head sadly.

“I mean, I’ve had boyfriends. But they’d just use me and then cheat on me. They would never compliment me or anything like that. It’s not a big deal.” I spoke softly and Danny’s eyes dropped to my lap, where my hands were balled together.

“Well, no worries, love. I’m not like that.” He spoke softly and I caught his eye. “If you’ll be my girlfriend, I promise I will never use you, I swear I’ll never cheat on you, and I’ll spoil you with compliments you deserve.” My eyes grew slightly large as the words left his mouth and I felt my lip pull into a small smile. Girlfriend? I like the sound of that. “So how does that sound, love? Be my girlfriend?” He spoke softly, his cheeks slightly tinted and I nodded quickly.

“Yes.” My voice was soft but that didn’t stop him from leaning over and catching my lips with his. His right hand was in the sand to hold him up and his left hand was placed on the back of my neck, pulling me toward him. I placed both of my hands on his chest and I pulled him close. This kiss was more electric than the others, probably considering we were official. I felt the butterflies erupt in my stomach and I couldn’t hide my smile as he pulled away. His eyes found mine and he smiled right back. His left hand found the bird hanging from my neck and I felt my eyes find it as he held it out to look at.

“You are always wearing this.” He spoke, his voice soft as his eyes ran over the silver bird. I felt like my throat was closing as I fought back tears. His eyes found mine and he cocked his head to the side. “What’s the matter?” His voice was like velvet and I felt a tear run down my cheek. Quickly wiping it away, I cleared my throat.

“I, uhm, it’s a Meadowlark.” I spoke even softer and my eyes fell on the beautiful bird. I ran my fingers over the cool medal and Danny’s hand dropped, his eyes looking at me curiously. “It’s a North American yellow-breasted songbird.” The words fell through my lips and I kept my eyes on the bird as I spoke. “I went on vacation with, uhm with Rose,” her name stung my throat, and I felt the small smile grow on my lips, “and her family to the United States. We stayed in New York and I kept seeing them. We looked it up online and if you see them in your dreams, it means you make the best out of every situation; you have a cheerful outlook on life. Rose would always joke with me that I was a Meadowlark in a past life because of how cheerful I was and that I absolutely loved to sing.” My voice trailed off and I looked up at Danny, the smile falling from my lips. “She had bought it for me for my 19th birthday. And, uh, when she crashed, they found it in a box in the backseat of her jeep with my name on it. I’ve worn it ever since.” I nodded sadly and his smile caused mine to appear.

“Tell me about Rose.” He spoke and I felt my smile grow slightly. Even though it hurt to think about my best friend, it’s better to remember than forget.

“We met in the summer when she moved to Wolverhampton right before Year 10.” I spoke softly and I caught his eye. “We met at the coffee shop I later worked at; she came in with her mum and I was there with…mine.” I cleared my throat. “My mum was so sweet. She invited them to sit with us because it was so busy and every table was taken up. Our mums became the best of friends and so did we. We were inseparable.” I played with the necklace as a smile grew on my cheeks. “I didn’t have many friends and she had none, so we met between each class, we had lunch together, and then we’d walk back to my house since I lived so close, we’d do our homework, and then my mum would drive her home. It was routine. She had long black hair, a million freckles, and she had this infectious smile. You’d never think something was wrong with her. But there was.

“I only found out a few months after we graduated that they had moved to Wolverhampton because her father tried to kill her mum.” I whispered, and our eyes met. Danny was watching my lips, taking every word in. His eyes were large and I nodded sadly. “I guess he was going crazy because he thought she cheated on him, but she hadn’t. Rose called the cops because she walked in on his father hitting her mother, and he’s been in jail since. We told each other everything.” I whispered, looking out over the waves. The sun was setting behind the water and I sat up, putting a smile on my face. “Enough about my sad life. I don’t want to ruin our first date.” I spoke, clearing my throat as my voice cracked. Danny looked at me a little longer before he stood, holding his hand out.

“You could never ruin anything, love. Come ‘ere.” I grabbed my hand and pulled me up, wrapping his arms around my waist. He ran his hands along my waist and I felt a giggle fall through my lips. Yep, I’m definitely ticklish. “Is Lindsey ticklish!?” He exclaimed, and before I could get a word in, his fingers started to tickle me. I let out a loud laugh before I ran, laughter falling from both of our lips. My sandals made it difficult to run in the sand and in result, I felt Danny’s arms wrap around me and instantly we fell to the sand. I was on my back and he was tickling my waist, his legs planted in the sand on either side of me. I felt my eyes water from all of the laughter and Danny grinned down at me. His hands froze on my stomach and I reached up to wipe my eyes, a huge smile on my lips. “I love your laugh.” He admitted and I felt my stomach do summersaults. Our eyes met and he blushed. “You look so happy when you laugh.” He whispered, putting a stray strand of hair behind my ear.

“I am happy.” I whispered, and his eyes met mine. A smile fell through my lips and his grin broke out. “I wasn’t before, but I am now. I have been for a few weeks.” My voice was quiet but that didn’t stop his smile from growing. Without further ado, I placed my hands on the sides of his face and brought his lips down to meet mine. The sparks went off in my stomach and I felt my heart beat repeatedly in my chest. The kiss only lasted a little while but when he pulled away, I still felt breathless.

“I guess I should say your welcome.” He murmured, and I giggled, shaking my head.

“Who said it was because of you?” I teased, and he grinned down at me.

“Let’s be honest, who don’t I make happy?” he joked and I smacked him in the shoulder. A loud laugh fell through his lips. “Ouch!” he cried, winking down at me.

“Well, you sure as hell don’t make my aunt happy.” I said and he just grinned.

“I did steal her niece. I wouldn't be very happy either if someone stole you from me.” He spoke so softly that I blushed.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.”