Good Love

Annie puffed out a sigh, stomping down the hall. She flung the balcony door open and slammed it shut behind her, rattling the windows. She closed her eyes and leaned her arms on the railing overlooking the city, inhaling and exhaling deeply.

“What’s the matter, blondie?”

The voice made her jump out of her skin. That boy was like a goddamn ghost, always showing up without a sound.

“I’m a ghost? Why?” he chuckled from his seat on one of the chairs.

“How did you know I just thought that?” she asked nervously, her heart quickening.

“Because you just said it out loud, Ann.”

Did she really? “Oh.” She backed away from the railing and flopped down onto the other chair, putting her feet up on the old patio table and closing her eyes. She tried her hardest focusing on the sun beating down on her bare legs and not the anger running through her veins, though it wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted to let the madness overtake her and control her whole body. She wanted to give in.

They sat like that in silence for ten minutes, John scratching away in his notebook with a pencil and Annie biting her lip next to him, tasting blood.

“You know,” John drawled, breaking the quietness of the air. “If anyone’s a ghost, it’s you.”

“Why do you say that?”

“It-it’s just the you act. You aren’t loud or obnoxious or ostentatious. You do everything in moderation, Annie,” he explained. “You kinda just.. float. You know? You’re mysterious. And you aren’t see-through, but you’re hard to see. You’re a ghost, and you take pride in that.”

Annie sat, staring at the horizon and letting his words sink in. Had he really been that observant of her, all this time? “I wish I were a ghost.”

“Nah, you just wish you were invisible.”

“Gee,” she huffed. “You sure know a lot about ghosts, John.”

He shrugged, setting his notebook onto the table. “I used to be one.”

Annie didn’t say anything, she simply sat in the silence with him. That was something she loved about his company; they could sit together and not feel the need to talk.

Finally, after another five minutes of silence, she was the one to break it. “Jared and I got into a fight.”

“Yeah?” he asked gently, surprised she shared that much with him. “What happened?”

“He got mad because I want a car. I quit my job at the bar, and he thinks I’m using all of his money,” she answered stoically. “But he didn’t stick around long enough to listen to me. I guess we’re alike, in that way.”

“What were you going to tell him, Ann?”

“Dirk offered me a job at his studio,” she whispered.

“Shit, that’s great! That’s what you wanted, right? Congrats, blondie,” he said happily, trying to cheer her up. No such luck.

“I just don’t get it, John. Nothing I ever do is good enough for him! He’s my brother, not my fucking dad,” she cried. “Jared still treats me like a little girl. He acts like I’m ignorant. You know what he told me? He said, you don’t know how to be an adult. What a real nice thing to say to you sister, huh? Might as well have told me how big of a failure I am.”

“Hey, hey don’t cry, Ann. Jared didn’t mean any of that,” John cooed, reaching over and grabbing her hand in his. “He was just mad. You’re not a failure.”

She hadn’t realized she’d been crying until he pointed it out, but sure enough, there were tears running down her cheeks, sliding down her nose. “How do you know that, John? How can you say that, when you don’t know who I was before I came here? I was a bad person. I was a bitch. Jared’s right, I really don’t know how to be an adult.”

“Annie Monaco, look at me,” he said sternly, tugging on her hand. “Look at me. You are not a bad person. You are not a bitch. And you definitely know how to be an adult. I mean, god, Annie! Take a look at yourself. You’re perfect. You’re beautiful and funny and strong and independent. Okay?”

Before he knew what was happening, Annie was sitting on his lap, hugging him. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, trying to convince her it was okay. It was weird for him; Annie had never let herself be this vulnerable, at least not in front of him.

“I just want to get out of here. Jared went to Tessa’s and Macy’s asleep and I just want to get out of here before one of them notices how big of a wreck I am and starts treating me like a child again,” she sighed, wiping away the last of her tears. “I wanna feel like I did when I was teenager, before everything went to hell. I mean, is that too much to ask for?”

He grinned at the girl. “There’s this place that we always go to. I mean, we’ve gone there to hang out ever since I was sixteen. We can go there and act like dumbass teenagers.”

She bit her lip. “Will you let me get as drunk as I want and share your cigarettes with me?”

He smiled even bigger. Normally, Jared would kill him for doing this kind of thing -letting his little sister get drunk off her ass and possibly high on the one night that he was gone- but tonight, she really looked like she needed it. Plus, John wanted an excuse to sit and talk with her. If he did this for Annie, it’d get her to like him more. “I sure will, blondie. I’ve got some old lawn chairs in the garage, wanna help me carry them out to the truck?”

“Not particularly.”

John laughed, and the two of them were back to acting as if Annie hadn’t just been crying in his arms five minutes ago. “Okay, just grab the blankets from the closet, then, lazy ass,” he said, pointing to the closet door down the hall (as if she didn’t know where they were. Had he forgotten she’d been living there for three months? Idiot.)

John turned to head downstairs to get the foldable lawn chairs. After tossing them in the bed of his trusty old pickup, the two of them loaded into the cab of his truck and drove off, Annie not caring where he was taking her.

***

He had brought her to 8123, the parking lot. Annie recognized the name from Jared talking about it when they were younger.

“Holy shit,” Annie said, raising her eyebrows. “The infamous parking lot.”

John let out a little laugh. “Come on, before it gets dark.”

As they stood setting up their chairs and leaving the blankets in the truck, Annie stopped him.

“John, wait,” she said, her blonde hair looking golden in the pink and orange sunset. She looked so incredible to John, it hurt. “You aren’t going to tell Jared about this, right?”

“Right. I won’t tell anyone, especially not Jared.”

“And... and you’ll drive me home?” she asked, her voice sounding small. John softened at her expression; she looked so tired and worn down. It was like all of her worries were finally crashing down on her.

“Don’t worry, Annie. I’ll take care of you.”

She exhaled, her breath blowing a wild strand of hair that’d been hanging in front of her eyes. “Great. Now pass me the alcohol?”

John laughed, reaching into the mini cooler next to his feet as the two sat down. “What do you want? I’ve got Jack Daniels, Bud Light, Absolut, and a couple of girly martinis.”

“Screw the martinis, John. Give me the Absolut. Did you bring any Coke, by chance?”

“Uh, Ann, coke’s pretty hardcore stuff. I wouldn’t let you do that shit. But no, I don’t have any,” he said uncomfortably. He knew that she smoked, drank occasionally, and had gotten high before (and probably wanted to tonight), but coke?

“Not that kind of coke, dumbass. Coke as in Coca-Cola!”

“Oh! That Coke!” he laughed, feeling stupid. Annie smiled as she watched him scratch the back of his neck, a nervous habit of his. “No, I didn’t bring any. I just have beer, liquor, and water.”

“Fine. I’ll just have to drink it straight.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. Drinking vodka straight was pretty unpleasant. Really unpleasant. “How bout I make you a drink?”

“Whatever,” she sighed, just wanting a damn drink already. “Make it fast, O’Callaghan.”

***

It was almost one in the morning, and Annie was drunk as hell.

John was only on his second beer, wanting to be sober enough to drive them home. And, he’d be lying if he denied the fact that he wanted to be sober enough to remember this night, even if Annie couldn’t. John had already made her six drinks, all consisting mainly of Jack Daniels and vodka, and she had just gotten done begging him for a seventh.

“So, JohnO,” she said in between hiccups, “how’s the wife and kids?”

He chuckled and rolled his eyes. “I’m not married, and definitely no kids, Annie. Don’t even have a girlfriend, remember?”

“Oh, right, right. I remember. Why no girly-friend, John? You’re hot as hell!”

Oh, god. Even if she was drunk out of her mind and wouldn’t remember this in the morning, John’s cheeks still flushed when she called him hot. This was like rerun of the night they’d been high and made out; she’d called him sexy that night.

“I dunno, Ann, I guess I just haven’t found anyone yet,” he lied.

“Really? No one caught your eye? N-not even any of your fangirls?” she slurred.

“Well, there’s this one girl, but she isn’t a fangirl, no.”

“Awe, Johnny has a crush! Who is it? Tell me about her!”

There really wasn’t any harm in saying it out loud, right? She wouldn’t remember this conversation, or even realize it was about her. And he’d been dying to get it off of his chest; the only person he’d told about his infatuation with his best friend’s sister was Halvo.

“Well, she has blonde hair and brown eyes and the most gorgeous smile. Half the time she acts like she doesn’t have a care in the world, but I know better. She just recently stopped hating me, but she drives me crazy anyways. She thinks she’s a bitch, but I don’t think she’s a bitch, I think she’s perfect. She’s funny, and she understands my fucked up humor, too. And she’s sad. Something hurt her, but I don’t know what. And she won’t let me make her feel better. She’s stubborn as hell. Strong as hell, too,” he said quietly, looking at her face for her reaction. Did she notice that his rant wasn’t about a random girl, but her?

“That was so sweet! You’re going to marry her John I just know it,” she giggled. If only she knew.

“Alright, love doctor, I think it’s time to head home,” he said, ignoring her last comment because it drove him insane just thinking about it. He stood and pulled Annie off of her chair so he could fold them and put them in the truck.

“I don’t wanna go home! I like it here!” she whined.

“We can come back another time, Ann. It’s time to go home now though,” he chuckled. He picked up the cooler, which was almost empty, and shoved it in the backseat. When he turned around to call for Annie, he found her lying on the asphalt and pouting.

“I’m not going with you,” she said. “I’m on strike.”

John laughed. Even inebriated, she never failed to amuse him. “Too bad, blondie. We’re going home.” With that, he stooped down and held her in his arms easily. She couldn’t have weighed more than a hundred and twenty pounds. Though for her, that was progress. She was even skinnier during her first month in Arizona.

Despite her lazy protests, he carried her to the passenger seat of the truck, buckled her in, and began the drive home. She was passed out before they even got there.

***

Annie woke up at seven in the morning, feeling like complete shit. Her head was pounding, her stomach was twisting, and she was covered in sweat. What the hell had she done last night?

All she could remember was driving to 8123 with John. The rest was a black hole in her mind, though by the familiar feeling of a hangover, it wasn’t hard to guess what she’d done.

Her thinking was interrupted by a flop in her stomach. She bolted out of bed, leaving Macy asleep next to her, and ran for the bathroom, barely making it as she retched the night’s contents into the toilet. She felt a little better when she was done, though her head was still killing her.

“Want some water?” a voice asked from the doorway, causing her to jump. How did he always manage to do that?

“Dammit, John, don’t scare me like that!” she groaned. He simply chuckled and walked out of the room. “Bring some tylenol too, please!”

A couple of minutes later, as requested, John returned -shirtless, she now noticed- with a glass of water and a bottle of painkillers. He handed the water to Annie first as she sat on the cold tile floor. The coolness felt good on her hot skin. Next John handed her a few little pills after shaking them from the bottle, and she was about to swallow them when her stomach churned again. She automatically dropped them and leaned over the toilet.

She flinched when she felt hands on her shoulders near her neck, but remembered it was John and tried to relax as her stomach emptied itself. Payback was a bitch.

When she finished, she wiped her mouth on a towel hanging within reach and leaned back, jumping when she felt a body against her back.

“Feel any better?” John asked, his voice still scratchy with sleep. His arms left her hair, which he’d been holding back, and loosely placed themselves around Annie.

Instead of moving away, she relaxed into him and let out a deep breath. She loved the feeling of her skin against his. “No.”

“You should try to take the medicine again.”

Grimacing, she reached for the pills and her glass of water, swallowing them down in one gulp. Luckily, they stayed down. She sat on the floor for several more minutes, John’s arms still around her, until she cautiously stood and looked at herself in the mirror. Her blonde hair was a mess, her face was paler than usual, and her eyes were terribly bloodshot.

“Wanna go get breakfast?” John asked.

“Uh, no. I look like shit.”

He chuckled and leaned against the counter of the bathroom. “Just calm down your hair, and you’ll look great. You need to eat.”

“Ugh. Why are you even up so early?”

“Because I heard you puking, Ann. My room’s right next door. And I’d been expecting it all night.”

She sighed and looked at him, trying not to stare at his skinny chest or the tattoos that adorned it. He had bags under his eyes, but they were bright nonetheless. He was such a good guy. First, he took her out to 8123. Then, he got her home safely. After that, he had gotten out of bed at 8 in the morning just to hold back her hair while she got sick. And now he wanted to take her to get breakfast.

“Thank you, John.”

“For what?”

“For taking care of me.”

He grinned. “So is that a yes to breakfast? Because I’m starving.”

***

They drove to Denny’s, John’s favorite antidote for hangovers (even though he wasn’t the one with an actual hangover this morning) and immediately read through the menu.

“Ugh, I have no idea what to get.” Annie groaned and picked at the tank-top hanging on her shoulder; she had thrown on the comfiest socially-acceptable outfit that she could find and walked out the door. Her tangly hair was pulled into a loose pony-tail and her complexion was still awful, but she just really didn’t give a fuck.

“Don’t worry, I’ll order for you,” he said, already knowing what he wanted from looking at the menu all of two minutes.

She nodded. “So what did we do last night? Just drink? I can’t remember shit.” Annie watched John’s face fall as she spoke, wondering what upset him.

“You drank into oblivion and I had a couple of beers.”

“Wasn’t that boring?”

“Nah,” he said, smirking. “You’re pretty entertaining when you get drunk. You kept asking me about my wife and kids.”

“Oh, god. I don’t know why you even agreed to take me out.”

He opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by an overly enthusiastic waitress. “Good morning! What can I get for you today?”

John ordered two of a breakfast dish, one for him and one for Annie.

“Oh, and a couple of coffees, please!” Annie added before the waitress could walk away.

“Two?” John asked, raising his eyebrow. 

“One for me, one for you.”

“Wow. Annie Monaco just ordered me a coffee. Holy shit, everyone! That’s the nicest thing she’s ever done for me!” he said loudly, grinning widely as he teased her.

“Fuck you, O’Callaghan.”

He laughed. “How ‘bout when we get home?”

Annie rolled her eyes. “Pig,” she muttered under her breath. “So, speaking of home, I was hoping maybe we could avoid that place until my hangover wears off. I’d prefer it if my brother didn’t see me this way and realize what I did last night.”

“That’s probably a good idea. You’re just full of good ideas, Ann. You know that? First, you want to fuck, and now-”

“Would you shut up, John?” she snapped, trying to hide her smile.

“That’s what she said.”

“OH MY GOD. Stop it, you pervert!” she laughed, kicking his shoe with her boot under the table.

“I’m sorry, Ann, you just bring out the perversion in me,” he laughed, the corners of his mouth raising into a crooked smile.

And that’s how the rest of their breakfast went. They ate, John made creepy jokes, the waitress shamelessly flirted with him, and Annie managed to stomach most of what John ordered for her, which turned out to be pretty good.

When they left Denny’s, loading into John’s old pickup truck, the sun had come out for the first time in two days, and it felt damn good. Annie leaned her head back on the seat as John drove, feeling the sunlight blanket her skin.

It didn’t matter that she’d fought with her brother. It didn’t matter that she didn’t know where they were going. All that mattered was that she felt happy, even if only for the moment.