The Ghosts of Your Past Haunt Me

-087-

Hours had passed since I received the news and I was to the point of dry heaving because I couldn't cry anymore. My dad was still rocking me back and forth trying to comfort me. 

"Where's Zak?" I mumbled.

My dad stopped rocking me, "You want me to go get him?" 

I nodded as I released my grip on my dad. Destiny and Aaron were still sitting in the room with me, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything to them. 

"We're going to leave so you and Zak can have some privacy, okay? I'll come back tomorrow and see how you're doing. Also you may want to talk to Hailey. She thinks this is her fault," Destiny said sadly as she stood up. 

She walks over to me and gave me a hug. Aaron followed suit and they left the room. How on Earth did she think it was her fault? I needed to talk to her immediately. Searching for my phone, I found it beside the bed, lucky for me. I quickly pulled up her number and texted her. 

'Hailey Raines! In all the years that I've known you, why on Earth would you think I would blame to for something like this? It's not your fault at all, okay? So please don't beat yourself up over this. Why would you think that, babe? I love you like a sister. I hope everything went well with Nick. Text me later, okay?'

I hit send and say the phone down as Zak walked in. My dad winked at me before shutting the door. Zak looked a complete wreck. His hair was sticking in every which way, his eyes were red from crying. 

"I'm so sorry, baby," he blurted as fresh tears streamed down his face.

Tears pricked my eyes as I opened my arms for him. He rushed over to me and gently climbed in the bed with me. I wrapped my arms around him as he clung to me like a small child. For the first time I realized he felt helpless. This was something he couldn't make disappear and it was killing him because it was our son. 

"Zak this isn't your fault. There's just something's we can't control," I whispered to him. 

He sniffed as he looked up at mr, "I don't like it, Katie. It makes me feel useless."

I pecked his forehead as I stroked his hair, "Baby, you're not useless. You've been the best fiancé/daddy anyone or child could ask for. Please don't beat yourself up. We've got to make it through together okay?"

He nodded before pressing his lips to mine. We settled in next to each other and soon he was softly snoring. I kissed his forehead and laid my head down on the pillow. Soon I was drifting in and out of consciousness.