Without You

I ended up falling asleep after the tear-shed and when I woke up, I found myself lying on a plush, king-sized bed in a room I’ve visited only a few times in the past but yet knew each corner by heart. Brian’s master bedroom in the Lion’s den was probably one of the neatest guy rooms I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I wonder how he manages to clean his room with all the travelling he’s been doing.

After a few minutes though, I started to feel a little nauseous. As I lay in that bed, I feared that my nausea could screw up the whole neatness thing. I didn’t want to head to the bathroom just to throw up. It wasn’t my place and I’m pretty sure it’d reek so bad, they’d kick me out of the place. Well, maybe they wouldn’t kick me out but I didn’t want them to think I was gross or anything.

Luckily, Brian peeked through the door to see if I was conscious again. I motioned for him to come in quickly. He walked briskly towards me, jumped over my limp body and dropped on the other side of the bed. The bed’s bounce cast another dizzy spell on me which did no good to my feels of nausea.

“Are you okay? You’re looking a little green,” he mentioned. I only stared up and focused on a point on the ceiling.

“I dizzy and I’m pretty sure that if I wait any longer, I am going to fill your whole bed up with vomit,” I told him monotonously.

Brian ran outside quickly. I counted mentally from one to ten and by eight, he came back to the room with an oversized trash bag in a medium-sized trash can. I sat up as he brought it close to me. The trash bag was newly placed and I didn’t want him to see what was about to unfold so I made him turn away. He did as I said but as soon as I started heaving to no end, he raced to my side and held my hair. He didn’t make a face, he didn’t make unnecessary comments. He just helped me. He didn’t care how smelly everything was and how gross what he saw was and that for me is the best kind of love and support you can give to a sick person.

As soon as I was done I tied a not to seal the bag and placed the trash can on the floor as I washed up. I didn’t just wash my face and gargle, I literally took a bath to try and scrub off the disease. Luckily, Brian still had an extra toothbrush that he was bound to use for travel. I promised to repay him for everything but he told me that it was fine.

“So where’s Veva?” I asked him as soon as I was seated on the couch with Ian and Jun.

“Oh, she, uh, had to attend a class,” Brian said rather hastily. He awkwardly got up and excused himself from the living room.

“What’s up with him?” I asked Jun who was staring at the kitchen to see what Brian was up to.

“They got into a fight yesterday,” he whispered as soon as he knew that Brian was out of hearing range.

“WHAT?” I couldn’t help it. It just came out. Fortunately, my little reaction burst didn’t send Brian running out of the kitchen.

“Will you keep your voice down,” Ian shout-whispered as he joined the conversation. He sat on the floor while Jun and I were on the sofa.

“It all happened so fast and I didn’t hear much. All I do know is that it was about you,” he told me frankly.

“What did they say about me?” I didn’t know what to say. I mean why would they fight over me? Was she jealous of my sickness? She could have it if she wanted.

“I don’t exactly remember word-for-word but they were fighting over Brian’s divided attention,” Jun explained.

Brian’s divided atten—what in the world is wrong with this woman? Does she not understand that her boyfriend is in a crisis? I mean seriously?! How shallow can she get? Brian really deserves better. If she can’t handle this sort of thing, then I think Brian might be better off without her.

“Yea, yea, I heard that too,” Ian added. “Jawn talked to her recently and she and Brian are like off for now ‘cause she claims that she needs a little space.”

I didn’t know what to say – if I was supposed to comment on the whole situation. It’s like what the cops tell people they arrest. “What you say now can or will be taken against you in court.” For some reason, I felt like I was in some kind of trial – a trial for my conscience. I didn’t know why I felt guilty about the whole thing but it’s not as if I wanted to be sick. It’s not as if I asked for Brian’s attention.

Brian’s phone wrong and Ms. I-Need-Space was on the caller ID. Brian rushed into the living room. He seemed too eager to answer the call.

“What do you guys want me to do?” I asked them out of curiosity. It’s not as if I wanted to make the first move so this whole debacle can be over and done with but I guess my maturity is begging me to.

“Well, it’s not like you can actually do anything…” Jun thought aloud.

Moments later, Brian ended the phone call with Veva and came back to the living room. He sat right in between Jun and me. I couldn’t see the expression on his face because he didn’t look me in the eye but according to his body language, he wasn’t exactly joyful.

“What’d she say?” Ian asked almost immediately.

I looked at Brian and bit on my lip as I awaited his response. I didn’t want to be the root cause of something so stupid and/or shallow but Veva couldn’t help it. She just had to make this whole thing a big deal. I don’t even know this girl but I think ‘getting along well’ wouldn’t exactly fit in the expectation list I have in my head.

“She wants to break up,” Brian said most sullenly.

At that point, I got up and tried to get away but Brian held me by the wrist and dragged me back down on the couch. His eyes were glassy as I stared into them.

“Please don’t leave me like she did.”

And just like that, I fell into him as he cried into my arms.