Don't Let This Memory Fade Away

It was Monday, and as always on this golden day, I dragged myself out of bed slowly, trying to hold on to every ounce of warmth and comfort that it brought to me. I walked into the bathroom and examined myself, a daily morning ritual. I smelled fine and my hair was in okay shape, so I allowed my laziness to overcome me and skip the shower. I slipped on a comfy pair of sweats and the first shirt I put my hands on. I threw my hair up in a ponytail, said screw it to makeup, and headed downstairs.

“Oh, Farah, sweetie, why don’t you go put on something nice?” Marian asked as she grabbed her purse off the table.

I smiled at her, not feeling like responding to her comment. She sounded a lot like my mother.

“Have a nice day, dear.” She said as she rushed out of the kitchen. She was such a busy woman; no time for anything.

Elliot and I said our good mornings and he handed me my usual bowl of fruit. I placed the empty product in the sink, headed back upstairs to grab my stuff, then out the door.

I was really early at the bus stop, and for the first time since getting here, I didn’t mind. And since no one was around at the moment, I had time to think, clear my head, without the distraction of other people’s conversation disrupting my thought process.

There was Alex. Gorgeous, funny, confident, Alex. Forward, cocky, self-centered, Alex. He had convinced me that I was special to him, different than the others, in such a short period of time. I couldn’t figure out whether I was deceived or if he truly did feel the way he expressed about me. How could I believe him with what happened with Lisa? He didn’t defend himself when I accused him of having feelings for her. I have no clue when their most recent break-up was, but if he keeps going back, why would I be any different?

Then there was Jack. Where do I even begin with him? He was, first and foremost, an excellent friend. He cared so dearly for those around him, and the way he had shown this to me was something I was so grateful for. He was kind, sweet, and forward, but it a different way than Alex. He was forward in a polite way, and he knew when to stop. He was much more respectful than Alex. Way better of a guy than Alex.

Yet for some reason, I still found myself being pulled towards Alex rather than Jack. And what’s bothering me the most is the fact that I can’t figure out why that is.

Teenage girl problems. Typical, typical.

I pushed my thoughts aside as others started to arrive at the bus stop. I grew impatient waiting for the bus, wanting to get to school to get my mind off of things. As soon as it arrived, I cut in front of the others and rushed onto the bus, when I remembered that Alex was my usual seat-mate.

He looked at me from the back of the bus, his eyes calling me over. A small half-smile appeared on his face, and I found myself moving towards him quickly, sitting down as soon as I reached the seat. He had a strange effect on me, and I was dying to figure why this was as well.

“I thought you wanted us to stay away from each other.” He said, inching away from me, pressing closer to the window.

/Oh, don’t make eyes with me and then give me that./ I thought.

“Well, it depends if you have your feelings worked out.”

He sighed. “Farah, I really, truly, like you. Like so much. It’s crazy. I want you to know that. I feel like I’m finally over Lisa, I mean we broke up like six months ago. But I don’t know, I feel like there’s some lingering feelings, and I really don’t want to hurt you, Farah. I know I already have a little, and I don’t want to do that again. But please, don’t make me completely avoid you. I want us to at least be friends.”

“Well, why’d you scootch away from me?” I raised an eyebrow.

“I thought it’d be what you wanted me to do.”

“Why would I have sat next to you, if I wanted you to move away?” I reached for his hand and squeezed it. “We’ll take this day by day, see how it goes. We’ve only known each other for, what, a week? We definitely don’t need to rush anything.”

He smiled at me and held my hand tighter.

That’s when it dawned on me. In just a week I had kissed two members of All Time Low. Oh wow.
________

I had found out at lunch that Alex had canceled band practice earlier that day. After I was informed, Jack looked at me excitedly.

“Farah, do you want to hang out after school?” He asked. “You can come to my house, I have a bunch of games I want to show you.”

“Yeah, that’s sounds great.” I said and returned his smile. I saw Alex tense next to him. “Hey, why doesn’t everyone tag along?” I tried to make this mellow ground, but in doing so I saw the disappointment cloud over Jack.

“Can’t, Kara and I are going out for dinner.” Rian said, putting his arm around Kara and pulling her close.

“Zack and I are going shopping!” Holly said excitedly. “I’m sorry, maybe another time.”

I looked at Matt “I can’t. Grounded.”

I rolled my eyes and looked over to Derek. “And what about you, mister.”

“I have a lot of homework…” He muttered, seemingly embarrassed.

I sighed. “Fine, Alex, what are you up to?”

“Nothing, I’ll be there.”

Jack’s disappointment changed to annoyance after Alex agreed to come. Oh well, we were all going to be friends regardless of what anyone’s libido said.
________

“So, would it be possible for me to get a little play time?” I asked as I watched Alex and Jack play Halo. They had insisted that I watch them play first so I get an understanding of how to play the game. Well, two hours later, they had yet to take their hands off the controllers or their eyes of the screen.

“Yeah, five more minutes.” Jack replied, clearly not caring. I shut my eyes and lay back on Jack’s bed, figuring I could catch some sleep since I wouldn’t be playing the game any time soon. Jack’s bed was even more comfortable than my own, his comforter worn to the point of having that perfect, soft texture. I found myself drifting off slowly, the boys's voices and the television's sound fading away.
________

“Grab her boob, wake her up. See what she does.” I heard Jack whisper.

“Okay, I’ll get the left, you get the right. On the count of three. One, two…”

“Fuck yourselves.” I mumbled and rolled over onto my stomach, preventing them from grabbing my chest.

“Hey, you still have an ass!” Alex laughed.

I let out a nervous yelp and leaped off the bed before he could touch me.

Alex and Jack laughed as they came over to help me up. “You guys are perverts.” I said, adjusting my shirt which had been shifted downward while I was asleep.

“Your point?” They asked in unison.

“It’s lovely. Keeps things entertaining.” I clasped my hands together. “So, how about I get a turn at Halo?”

The two exchanged a glace. Alex bit his lip and Jack crossed his arms. “I would say yes, but someone decided that he would be a little bitch because he was losing and break the CD. Which, by the way Alex, you’re giving me yours.”

“Nice, Alex.”

He just shrugged and turned away, jumping onto Jack’s bed. “Come here, baby.” He beckoned.

“I’m not your baby, Alex.”

“No, not you.” He shot back at me.

I looked at Jack who smiled and jumped on the bed. Alex put his arm around him and they cuddled, Jack’s head on Alex’s chest.

“Is there something I should know about here or…”

“No, we’re just fucking around.” Alex said, pushing Jack off of him.

“Fucking around or not, your chest is fucking comfy. Get back here.” Jack grabbed Alex and pinned him down, laying his head on his chest once again.

“Well, is there room for me in this cuddle fest?”

“Fuck that, tits are gross.” Alex said and shut his eyes. He opened one, peaking at me, and gave me a quick half smile. I returned it and jumped on them.

“Dammit, Farah! I was comfy!” Jack said as I pushed him off of Alex’s chest, placing my head where he had just had his own.

“Hush, you can lay on me.” I smiled.

We all lay there together, three friends, and everything started to feel right.