How The Hell Did You Ever Pick Me?

I’m not sure how long I sat there sobbing. I felt someone sit down next to me and wrap an arm around my shoulder. I looked over to see Justin smiling at me. “Kellin didn’t know what he was doing. We tried to stop him from leaving the tour bus but he just had to see you. I didn’t know he would end up doing that.” Justin mumbled. “How is he doing now?” I sobbed. Justin looked down and said “Jesse and Gabe carried him back to the bus. He was crying and puking, but he’s probably passed out by now.” I nodded. “You know, a lot of people are looking for you. We were worried about you.” Justin continued. We sat in silence for a few minutes. Justin helped me to my feet and we started heading back.

It turns out him, Jack, Mike, Vic, Tony, Jaime, Alan Ashby, Beau Bokan, Levi Benton, Eric Lambert, and Matty Mullins were all searching for me. They all saw what happened. How fucking embarrassing. The guys in Pierce led me onto their bus after everyone basically showered me in hugs.

I sat in silence as the guys tried to cheer me up. “What did you and Tony do today?” Vic asked. I shrugged my shoulders and said “Ask Tony.” They all exchanged glances before Tony said “Well, Steph and I took shots and smoked before going to Chili’s for lunch. We bumped into a couple fans. We ate and took more shots. Then, we came back here and watched Star Wars and smoked some more. Then, you guys came back. I had fun…didn’t you Steph?” I slowly nodded. Jaime took a sip of Whiskey before offering it to me. I declined it. “Why do you guys like me so much?” I asked, barely above a whisper. Jaime smiled and asked “Why wouldn’t we like you?” I shrugged and said “You guys aren’t hanging out with me just because I’m with Kellin…right?” “Of course not. We all think you’re chill. You’re one of us now.” Vic replied. I smiled and said “I…I’m sorry you guys had to see that.” Mike pulled me close to him and said “Awww Steph, you don’t need to apologize. You did nothing wrong.” A tear slid down my cheek and I whispered “My ex used to do that to me all the time. He used to hit me and push me around. I dated him for three years. It took me about a year to finally start dating again. That was when I met Kellin. I never even dreamed that he would do that to me. I thought I was safe.” I started crying into Mike’s chest. They surrounded me and gave me a group hug. “We love you, Doll Face.” Vic whispered.

After I was done crying Tony yelled “Let’s watch Star Wars!” I laughed and we all sat around the tv as Tony put the disc in the DVD player. About forty five minutes into Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, Justin and Gabe walked onto the bus. “Ummm…we just came to see if you wanted to head back. The bus is leaving in about an hour.” Gabe said. “Or you can cool off on Of Mice And Men’s bus. They said that you can stay with them for a couple days if you want.” Justin piped in. Mike looked at me and said “She can stay here too. I don’t think the guys would mind.” Vic, Jaime, and Tony all agreed with Mike. “I guess I will stay here for a couple days then.” I sighed. I hugged the guys in Pierce before walking off with Justin and Gabe to get my things.

Justin peaked his head in the bus before signaling to me to follow him. I looked at all the guys’ sympathetic faces before heading back to collect my stuff. Kellin is passed out in our bunk while clinging to one of my shirts. A tear fell as I kissed his forehead. “I love you,Kells.” I whispered. Jesse handed me a bag and I filled it with a couple days’ worth of clothes, pj’s, make-up, my laptop, cellphone/charger, and stuff like that. Before leaving, I kneeled down next to Kellin and stroked his face. “How did we end up like this, Kellin? I thought we were perfect. I miss the old us. “I sobbed. I wiped away my tears before standing up and turning towards the door. Gabe, Justin, Jesse, and Jack were watching me. They each pulled me into a hug. “It’ll get better.” Jesse whispered in my ear. I waved them “good bye” before heading back to Pierce The Veil’s bus.

As soon as I got on the bus I took a quick shower. I went to the front room where everyone else was. Vic had his guitar out and was strumming a few cords. He looked up at me and smiled. “I thought this would cheer you up.” He said and started playing “Yeah Boy And Doll Face” I smiled and sat next to him. It turned into a giant sing-along. We sang along with Vic. After, “Yeah Boy And Doll Face” he started playing “Hold On Til’ May”. One of my favorite songs off of the new album. This time, only Vic and I sang. He looked up from his guitar and smiled at me every so often. These guys are amazing. They know exactly what to do to cheer me up. After the song ended I started to tear up. “Those better be happy tears.” Jaime joked. I smiled and said “Oh, they are. You guys are amazing.” “Group hug!” Jaime shouted. They all tackled me into a group hug.

We passed the whiskey bottle around while watching some comedy. The bus stopped and their tour manager stood up from the driver’s seat and said “Okay, we’re at Taco Bell. You have an hour. Don’t get kicked out…I know some of you are drunk.” We all laughed and took one last swig of whiskey before heading out. Mike held my hand as we walked in. We all ordered our food and sat down at our tables. Mike and I sat together at a table; just the two of us. “How long are you going to stay with us?” Mike asked before taking a bite out of his burrito. I shrugged my shoulders and said “Probably a couple days. I’m going to torture him a bit before I forgive him.” “You’re going to forgive him? Even after he fucking hit you?” Mike said, clearly shocked. I nodded slowly. “He was drunk and pissed.” I replied. “He still shouldn’t have hit you.” Mike mumbled. We ate in silence for a few minutes. “So, who are you bunking with?” Mike asked casually. I looked up at him and smirked “You want me to sleep with you…don’t you?” He took a sip of his drink and said “I do need a cuddle buddy.” “Okay, but we’re not fucking.” I replied. He raised his hands in defense and said “I never said we were.” I grabbed my stuff and stood up. “Okay, WhiskeyHands.” I said as I winked at him. I threw my stuff out and followed Tony and Jaime back onto the bus.

As soon as everyone got back on the bus, the drinking continued. Vic randomly took out his phone and took pictures of our group. “Hey, Doll Face. Plug the speakers into your phone.” Vic slurred. I laughed and did as he said. The first song to come on was “The Birds and The Bees” by Breathe Carolina. “Listening to this song would be weird if it was a total sausage fest.” Jaime laughed. Tony handed me a cup and I took a huge gulp out of it before dancing with Vic. For the next half hour I was basically passed around between the four of them. I was too fucked up to care. I sat down on Mike’s lap as we passed around a blunt. “You guys really know how to cheer me up!” I giggled. “We can’t have our girl feeling down.” Vic replied. I kissed Vic on the cheek. “After Warped you guys have to stay in touch with me. Imma miss my favorite Mexicans.” I laughed. Tony filled a shot glass and yelled “Let’s cheers to that!” I downed my shot but instantly felt sad. Even though I’m having a blast with these guys, I miss Kellin. I grabbed the bottle of Vodka and took a huge swig. There’s nothing alcohol can’t fix.

Mike carried me bridal style to the bunk. He carefully placed me in it and climbed in. I cuddled up to him and slurred “Goodnight, Mikey.” He smiled down at me and replied “Goodnight, Steph.” He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer. I so badly just want him to touch every part of my body, but even though I’m fucked up beyond belief, I can’t cheat on Kellin. He kissed my forehead and I quickly passed out.