How The Hell Did You Ever Pick Me?

It’s July 31 and it’s been exactly a week since I moved back to Sleeping With Sirens’ bus. Sadly, there is only five days left of this tour. This summer was definitely not what I expected it to be. Kellin and I almost fell apart, but before we could we patched things up. I developed feelings for an over-tattooed Mexican drummer. The same drummer I haven’t talked to in a week. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss him. I barely hangout with Vic, Jaime, and Tony anymore…even though they always try to get me to chill with them. I just want to distance myself from Mike.

The guys left the bus about fifteen minutes ago to go to a signing and a few interviews. This means I won’t be seeing Kellin until they go on stage at five. What will I do for the next five hours? I hopped out of the bunk and sat on the couch in the front of the bus. I turned on the tv and started watching Adventure Time. Ten minutes passed before I heard a knock on the door.

“Come in!” I shouted. The door opened and in came Jaime and Tony. “Hey.” I smiled at them. They leaned over to hug me before taking a seat on the couch. “Why don’t you hang out with us anymore? You can’t just be over every day and then all of a sudden fall off the face of the Earth.” Jaime pouted. “Yeah, we miss you.” Tony added. I shrugged my shoulders and replied “I’m sorry guys. I miss you too.” “You can change that by coming to our bus to chill.” Jaime smiled. Should I go to their bus? Mike’s going to definitely be there and I’m still mad at him for what he did. He had me thinking he really liked me. But then again, I should hang out with them since Warped is almost over. I sighed and said “Sure.” Jaime and Tony smiled. We stood up and I hopped on Tony’s back. “You’re my bitch now, Mr. Perry.” I joked as he carried me off the bus. “Sure sure.” He replied.

For the past two hours that I’ve been on Pierce’s bus Mike and I have been awkwardly glancing over at each other. I want to talk to him, but I don’t have anything to say. It’s weird how we went from talking each other’s ear off to sitting right next to each other without even saying a single word. It makes me wonder if his feelings for me were ever real. Maybe he just wanted to use me. I know one thing for sure, every day I spent with him I ended up liking him more. Don’t get me wrong, I love Kellin. But, there’s just something about Mike that attracts me to him.

“It’s your turn, Doll.” Jaime said as he handed me the Xbox controller. I took it and started my game of FIFA with Tony. “I am going to kick your ass!” Tony laughed. “Nope, it’s the other way around, Turtle.” I stuck my tongue out at him. “I’ve never seen a girl get so competitive over FIFA.” Jaime commented. I focused on the screen as my player kicked the ball away from Tony’s player. “Fuuuuck!” Tony yelled.

I ended up beating Tony four to three. “Wow, I can’t believe a girl beat you…and she’s not even Mexican.” Vic laughed. “She just got lucky.” Tony mumbled. I looked over at Tony and laughed. He looks so bummed that I beat him. “I loooove you, Tone.” I smiled at him. He looked over at me and smiled “I love you, too. Unless, you beat me in FIFA again.” I hugged him.

Mike’s P.O.V

Not being able to talk to Stephanie kills me. I want to talk to her, but she probably doesn’t want to talk to me. I don’t blame her. I fucked up.

I looked over to see her joking around and hugging Tony. Jealousy raged within me. Tony doesn’t realize how fucking lucky he is right now, having Stephanie smiling at him and hugging all over him.

For the past week since Stephanie stopped talking to me, the only thing I’ve been doing is drinking whiskey and smoking weed. The only reason why I’m sober right now is because Stephanie’s over and I didn’t want her to see me fucked up. Being fucked up has helped me cope with the sudden loneliness that I’ve been feeling. I never thought that I could feel this way about any girl, but she’s different and I dig that.

It’s fucked up how the world works. The only girl I’ve actually liked in a long time and I don’t have a chance in hell with her. I guess it’s God’s way of punishing me for all the girls whose hearts I’ve broken over the years. Karma really is a bitch.

Stephanie’s P.O.V

At around three thirty the guys were about to go do a signing so I took that as my queue to leave. As I was about to walk out the door Mike walked up behind me and asked “Can we talk?” I sighed and said “Why not?” I walked down the stairs and leaned against the bus. “So what do you want to talk about?” I asked. “How are things with you and Kellin?” he asked. I narrowed my eyes. “Pretty good.” I replied. “Has…has he hurt you again?” he whispered. “Is that all you wanted to ask me about? Me and Kellin’s relationship? Even if he did hit me it would be none of your fucking business.” I hissed. He looked down. “I wanted to apologize. I never meant to hurt you.” He mumbled. “I get it, Mike. Someone like you isn’t supposed to like someone like me. We are two totally different people. I have Kellin…and you have your… single life. I get it.” I stated. “I’ll admit you’re not the type of girl I’d usually…go after, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t like you. You’re amazing. You’re funny. You’re sweet. You’re beautiful. You’re…everything that I want in a girl. I thought I finally won you over, but I fucked up. I just want to make you happy.” Mike replied. I started tearing up as I took in everything he said. “Mikey, I don’t know what to say.” I choked out. He embraced me and said “Just say you forgive me…please.” “I forgive you, Mike. I missed you so much.” I sobbed into his chest.

As I walked back to the bus my thoughts were racing. Ever since Kellin hit me things haven’t been the same on my part. Every time he makes a sudden movement towards me I flinch. Every time I flinch Kellin gets this look in his eyes that just breaks my heart. I don’t mean to be so skittish around him, but ever since he hit me that’s all I can think about.

Kellin and I took a shower on Of Mice And Men’s bus before returning to ours. “So what do you want to do?” Kellin asked me. “Can we watch movies and cuddle?” I suggested. “Of course.” He smiled. Kellin grabbed the laptop while I climbed into our bunk. Kellin joined me and set the laptop on his lap. “Whatcha want to watch?” he asked. “The Breakfast Club!” I squealed. He laughed and kissed the top of my head. “The Breakfast Club it is.” He stated.

Kellin’s P.O.V

Stephanie fell asleep in my arms about an hour ago. I’m still wide awake just thinking about everything. Things haven’t been the same for a week now. She refuses to have sex with me. Not that it’s important or anything. I just miss making love to the one I love. That’s not as bad as the fact that she flinches whenever I make a sudden gesture. It kills me to see that she’s scared of me. At least we’re still together though. We only have a few more days left before we fly home to Michigan. When we get home, I’m going to make it up to her. She doesn’t deserve half the shit I’ve done to her this summer. I just hope that when we return to Michigan things will go back to normal.