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Two more shows. That meant there were only a few more days until Alex didn't have to see Jack.

Josh found out last night about Alex's cutting again. The one where he had cut near his hips after he cut his thighs. Zack found out the day it happened. He was actually the one that stopped Alex from going too deep. Alex told most of the truth to Zack about his feelings and his state of mind. He promised Alex he wouldn't tell anyone.

Another night on the Marianas bus and Alex found himself seated in the back lounge with Josh sitting diagonal from, Matt in the kitchen, and everybody else out drinking.

"Alex are you sure you'll be okay after tour?" Josh's voice laced with concern.

"I-I should be." Alex replied timidly

Alex really didn't think he would be too bad once they got back home. He'd be able to stay in the confines of his own home. No one would disturb him while he moped around the house with a tub of Ben & Jerry's or a blade.

"I'm really worried for you Alex." Matt came through the back door lounge of the Marianas bus holding cup of tea and a can of coke zero.

"You immediately fall back to the depressed and sad state once you're off the stage and when no fans are around. It's not healthy." Matt stated as he sat down next to Josh, sipping from the coke and handing the tea to Alex.

"Matt's right. I don't think going back to Baltimore would be good for you. There's so many triggers and no one is living with you."

"Well I don't really have a choice. Flyzik is already planning the next tour. And we need to get started on the new album." Alex sighed

Alex wanted to go home; he really didn’t want to stay on tour and face Jack. Even if he would be in the same area as him he still had the choice to not see him until they have to record the new album.

"I think a break is what you guys need." Josh offered

"A break would be nice for all of the guys, this tour has been hectic. Especially for you, Alex. Plus, maybe taking a break before you pick up on new material might be good too. So you don't repeat Dirty Work's sound too much."

"I don't know man. Music's the only thing that keeps my mind off these problems. It's my escape."

Alex contemplated whether or not taking a break would be a good choice to make. He himself knew he desperately needed to be away from Jack and it's pretty hard to write an album without the guitarist of the band.

It wasn't that Alex loathed Jack, it was just hard to face him with all the guilt clouding around in his head.

"But what else can I do?" Alex asked desperately

The couple on the other couch thought for a few minutes. There really wasn't much options that Alex could take.

Then Matt looked at Josh and as if knowing completely what Matt said through his eyes the taller man nodded.

Matt turned to face Alex and smiled lightly.

"Come stay with us."

~|~

"Wow guys! This tour have been amazing and you guys have been amazing! How 'bout we welcome the rest f the guys on stage right now!" Pierre yelled into the microphone.

The whole venue screamed and it was the loudest they've ever heard.

All the bands ran on stage and stood in a line facing the audience. Everybody linked hands and Alex had to link with Rian and Jack. They bowed and lifted their hands in the air afterwards.

Alex was actually happy right now. Half because they had an amazing experience and was shocked they had so many canadian fans. The other half meaning be could be somewhere else where Jack wasn't around.

The rest of the band have yet to know of the sudden plan change and Alex was stalling to the last minute to tell them. He did tell Zack, though, and the always shirtless man was fully supporting him even if e did put up a fight sayig he could stay with him. In the end, Alex still stood his ground and managed to get Zack to agree with him.

~|~

All the guys were now back in the bus and packing up when Alex pulled Matt aside to tell him.

“What’s up Lex?” Flyzik asked, a little concerned due to Alex’s seriousness

“I uh, I’m not going home to Baltimore with you guys.” He said it. He finally said it.

Matt seemed to be taken aback by this information. It was definitely not what he was expecting. In fact, it’s probably the last thing he was expecting. Flyzik would’ve expected Alex to say he got a girl pregnant than what he actually did say. Maybe that was too extreme, but you get his point.

“Why?”

It was the simple question that Alex dreaded

“I just thought taking a break would be nice, you know? Maybe taking a break before you pick up on new material might be good. So we don't repeat Dirty Work's sound too much, or just our sound in general.” quoting what Josh said

Matt didn’t seem to really like the idea since they already started planning for the next tour. But if the boss says so then what else can a man do, right?

“Are you sure about that? Where are you going to go then? How long will it be?” The mickey mouse obsessor inquired

“I’ll be staying with Josh and Matt. I might stay there for half of the time and then go somewhere else. I’ll tell you when I’ve made up my mind. But don’t tell the guys where I’m going alright? I want some peace and quiet just for a while.”

Honestly, Alex didn’t know how long he would stay away. He just need to get away, not caring for anything else. He’ll figure it out later, he always did.

“Okay then. You better go tell the guys.” Matt gestured out to the lounge.

Alex took a deep breath and walked out. He clapped his hands together three times to gain everyone’s attention. The pushing and shoving and laughter died down as their lead singer stood by the doorway awkwardly, seeming to be having an internal debate. Alex didn’t know how to approach this subject and he was getting really frustrated.

“Guys I got something to tell you.” voice and face serious

Everybody gave Alex their full attention once they saw how stern Alex’s expression was.

“I’m not going to be going back to Baltimore and I think we should take a short break from touring and recording.” Alex let out all in a breath

Nobody spoke for a whole minute before Rian blurted

“wait, Alex fucking Gaskarth is asking for a break from touring and recording? Am I hearing this correct.”

Alex sighed

“I know it’s out of character for me to be asking a break from this but I really need it guys. This tour has been crazy and I really need some time before we start on new material. Please understand, I really need to be away for a while.” Alex pleaded and never looked over at Jack.

He couldn’t bare to see Jack’s face. He was scared he would see a heartbroken face. He was scared he might see sad eyes staring back at him. But most of all, he was scared he would see an expressionless face. He was scared Jack wouldn’t care if Alex left or not. He didn’t want to know how Jack felt. Either way it wouldn’t do him much good.

“Well, I guess if this is really what you want. Where are you going to go?” Rian pushed

“I’ll be staying with Josh and Matt for a while. Then I’ll be going to some other places. Don’t wanna stay in the same place for too long.” Alex half lied. The brown haired man actually don’t intend on leaving Matt and Josh’s side (in the least cock block way) as long as he is welcomed. He didn’t think he would cope very well alone in a foreign place without their comforting and understanding words.

“The guys from Marianas? They’re good people. Be safe Alex.” Rian wished him farewell.

“Got it!” Alex laughed

He was about to turn back to pack his stuff but realized Flyzik already did it for him.

“Wow Flyzik! You’re actually doing something right for once!” Alex laughed again.

They all came together for a group hug and with that Alex walked out the bus. He was a few steps away from the Marianas bus before he turned back to look at their bus one last time.

He is going to really miss these guys.