Stay With Me

Alex P.O.V.

I sat there holding the broken girl, I was scared that if I let her go she would crumble to pieces right in front of me. How could I not realise she was hurting this much? I knew she was upset but I didn’t know it was this bad.

Things started to make more sense. I now knew why talking about her past was such a touchy subject and was usually avoided at all costs by her or Kara. I knew why she never talked about her parents. It finally made sense why on the first day I met her when I wrote her that note asking why’d she moved why she looked so terrified to answer it. She had been forgotten, become irrelevant to her own family. She had lost her sister and herself but managed to bring herself back to life.

And Jack and I’s stupid arguments killed her again. It was my fault that she did this to herself. I was the reason there would be at least three new scars on her delicate wrist. Because of my selfishness and stupidity Jess felt the need to- t-.. I can’t even say it.

It had to fix this. I couldn’t let her continue to do this to herself. She was beautiful, strong, smart and caring, she didn’t deserve any of this. I was going to her help recover if it’s the last thing I do.

We had been sitting in the same position for what felt like hours. The sun had now set and so had the warmth. Neither of us had spoken, we just sat and embraced the silence. Jess was softly crying, the tears slowly sliding down her cheeks.

The brave face she usually wore was gone, Her guard was done. Now she looked sad and vulnerable. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, They were filled with dispear and lose. She resembled a small child, lost and scared but she wasn’t alone. I was here with her and it was going to stay that way. Her cheeks were stained with tear marks and her lips looked chapped and dry from the cold wind. Despite all this she still looked beautiful.

I tightened my grip on her as she moved in my arms. Slowly turning her head to face me. My eyes flicked between her eyes and her mouth. I wanted nothing more than to connect our lips once more and show her how much I cared for her but I didn’t think it was a good idea at this time.

That was until Jess surprised me and made the first move. She moved her face towards mine at a painfully slow pace. Our lips now merely millimeters apart. Finally our lips met in a kiss that was unexplainable. There was so much passion, want and desperation all in one. I have never felt so needed in my life.

She pulled away too quickly for my liking but If it was up to me the kiss would have never ended.

She kept her face close to mine as she mumbled “Please don’t leave me”. Her voice was softer than a whisper. I starred down at her, waiting for her eyes to meet mine. When they didn’t I softly placed my hand on her cheek using my thumb to rub small circles. Her gaze slowly lifted to mine.

“I would never leave you. I want to help you, I don’t want you to do this” I said gently grabbing her wrist “anymore. If you need help come to me, I don’t care what time it is call me and I will find you.” I said searching her eyes for any emotion.

“You promise?” She whispered, sounding unsure.

“I promise.” I said sealing it with a kiss.

Jess P.O.V.

As Alex’s stare moved to my lips and back to my eyes I knew exactly what he wanted and I also knew he was to scared to try anything after what happened last time.

Before I could think about the consequences I slowly lifted my lip to his. This kiss was passionate and vulnerable. I showed him how much I needed someone, How desperate I was to be wanted.

I didn’t know if Alex’s feelings for me were rhetorical on my part. I didn’t know if my feelings for Alex were stronger than just friendship but at this time I didn’t care. I wanted someone and he was there. I know it’s selfish, I was using him for comfort but I needed to be wanted and he wanted me.

I knew a large part of me still loved Jack but I also knew that somewhere inside those feelings for Alex were still there, they just needed to be reignited.

The only thing I knew for sure was that Jack didn’t want me anymore, and Alex did.

Jack P.O.V.

Earlier in the day. [b/]

“Jack you’re such a fucking dick!” I pulled away from the ‘kiss’ I was currently receiving to see who was refering to me as a ‘fucking dick’. I turned to see most of the people sitting at the table giving me angry or disappointed glares.

“What?” I said confused, what the had I done this time? Kara looked at me and then averted her eyes to the girl, Jasmine who was sitting on my lap.

“Hey Jas can you go get me a drink?” I said in an attempt to get her away from the table before Kara started to yell, If you weren’t used to it, it was scary.

“Yeah of course Baby” She said before pecking my cheek with her bright pink lip stick. I cringed at her pet name, I had only known her for a matter of hours.

“Now, Why is everyone angry at me?” I asked to everyone at the table.

“Because you’re a dickhead!” Kara said slapping my arm.

“I got that! But why?” Kara rolled her eyes.

“Maybe because you basically started fucking some girl that no one knows at the table in front of the whole student body!” I looked at her confused for a second.

“So? It’s not like I have a girlfriend anymore.” I spat bitterly causing Kara to groan loudly.

“You’re such an idiot! Jess saw you kiss her! Do you know how that would make her feel? You are such an insensitive arse Jack Barakat. I don’t even know why I bothered feeling sorry for you when you act like a self centered cu-“

“Wow Calm down girl” Rian said grabbing a hold of Kara as she started to move towards me in a threatening manner. She had no right to say any of that to me. It was none of her business.

I got up and left the table forgetting about Jasmine. I walked down the corridor and into an abandoned hallway. I needed a minute to think.

Everything Kara said was right. I was an arse. I didn’t even like Jasmine she was annoying as hell but I needed a distraction, something to take my mind of Jess. I still loved her more than anything. I was such an idiot for letting her go.

I felt guilty knowing that she had seen me kiss someone else. Even though I hadn’t, I felt like I had cheated on her. I thought about what Kara said. How did Jess feel about seeing me kiss someone else?

I sat there wondering. If I had seen Jess kiss someone else, It would tell me that she was over me and didn’t want me anymore. It would make me feel sick to my stomach but then again I have seen Jess kiss someone else, that’s why I can’t call her mine.

I knew both Alex and her were sorry for what had happened. I knew that Jess regretted it and that she didn’t initiate the kiss, she only participated. I think that’s why I am finding it so hard to forgive Alex. He wanted to kiss her and even though he says he does I know he doesn’t regret it. If anything he would do it again just this time I wouldn’t be there to stop him going any further.

That’s the worst thing about this whole thing is. Not knowing that if I hadn’t had shown up when I did, How far would they have gone? Would it have stopped at a kiss? a steamy make out session or would they have taken it inside?

Would they have even told me about it?

These questions are the reasons why I can’t just forget about it, yeah it was just a simple kiss but it could have been so much more if I wasn’t there to interrupt.

I was so sick of dwelling on everything that had happened, It was in the past so why could I just move on? I love jess and I know she loves me. Well at least she did and she still could. The only thing stopping me from winning her back was me.

Fuck it. I wanted Jess. Scrap that I needed Jess and I was going to do anything to get her back. Just then the bell went and I walked off to my locker, casually looking over at Jess’ to see if she was there. I waited for her to arrive and when she didn’t I walked off to class.

Through out the rest of the day I thought of ways to get her back. I was thinking of doing something extravagant with candles and flowers but Jess liked simple sweet things more. Then I came to the conclusion I was just going to come out and say it.

Jess I was an idiot for letting you go. I love you. Please take me back and I promise I will never let you go again.

It was simple and straight to the point just like Jess. When the bell went to signal the end of the day I raced out of class and straight the Jess’ locker. I didn’t want to miss her. I waited there for and didn’t say anything when both Rian and Zack gave me questioning looks.

After twenty minutes of sitting in front of her locker, I came to the conclusion that she must have gone home early. Without a second thought I ran out to my car and sped to Jess' house, I quickly stopped off to get some flowers. It didn’t feel right not having them.

I checked my reflection in the rearview mirror before making my way to her front door, taking a minute to catch my train of thought before knocking on the door. This was it. I was going to get my Jess back.

Jess' mum answered the door and she looked more than shocked to see me.

“Hello Mrs O’Neil”

“Oh Jack, I haven’t seen you in a while” She said pulling me into a tight hug which surprised me. Over the time that Jess and I dated I never really got close to her parents, Jess didn’t seem to be that close to them but whenever I brought up the subject she seemed to get uncomfortable so I didn’t push it.

“I know but I was just wondering If I could speak to Jess?” She noticed the flowers I was holding and a small smile appeared on her face.

“Sorry she’s not here right now and I’m not too sure when she’ll be back” My face fell and her mother noticed. “But don’t worry she’ll be here tomorrow” She said attempting to lift my spirits.

“Okay, I’ll come back tomorrow then! Thanks anyway” I said before walking back to my car. I was about to start the ignition and drive away when I decided to wait.

I don’t know why but I needed to see Jess today. I couldn’t wait till tomorrow so I was going to sit in my car like a weird stalker and wait for her to come home and when she did I would surprise her.