Seize The Day.

When they threw their things into the crowd at the end of the concert, Arin scooped Jenny up and kissed her on the cheek as he walked off the stage with her still in his arms. The crowd went wild as they walked out of sight. She was laughing so hard as they walked down the hall to the dressing room. He set her down on the ground in front of him and just looked at her, he couldn’t believe that any of it was really happening. She looked at him, not smiling necessarily, but he could see the happiness dancing around in her eyes. She tucked her hair behind her ear and looked up at him, “So…” He laughed and gave her a hug before holding the dressing room door open for her so she could walk in.
She walked over to Johnny and sat on his one leg. He smiled as she leaned back on him and smiled at him. Syn laughed, “I swear to God Jenn, you’re gonna get all these guys wrapped around your finger in a matter of weeks. I guarantee it.” Zacky laughed, “You say that like it won’t happen to you too.” Syn scoffed sarcastically, “I have will power. I won’t be sucked into her little scheme.” Jenny laughed and looked over at him, “Scheme? Do you know something that I don’t?” He shook his head at her, “You may not realize it, but you’re gonna have these guys bowing down to you in a matter of time. And then there’ll be me. Because someone has to remain level-headed to make sure that everything still goes like it’s supposed to.” She just shook her head at him, “I’m glad you think so highly of my non-existent mind control skills, but I think you must be on something if you think that’ll actually happen.”
Matt walked back into the room and looked around at them all, “I feel like I missed something important.” Johnny laughed, “Nah, not really. Just Brian being a paranoid little fucker. Nothing new.” Matt nodded his head understandingly, “Oh, gotcha.” Matt sat down on the couch next to Arin and then looked back and forth between the two of them He finally turned to Arin, “So, the crowd is diggin’ whatever you two are doing at the end of the shows,” he said as he pointed over to Jenny who was sprawled out in the chair across Johnny, “and now it’s got me curious as to what you guys are actually doing.” Arin laughed as he took a swig of his beer, “What do you think we’re doing? Fucking on stage?” Matt laughed, “No, but I was just wondering.” Arin looked down at his hands, then over to Jenny, and finally back to Matt, “It’s nothin’ man. I usually just pick her up and carry her off stage, just like I did for that first concert.” He left out the part where he had kissed her that night. He figured that she didn’t need to get any more bullshit from the guys than she already did. Matt nodded, “Alright. Well, it works man haha.”
Jenny turned to Zacky, “You okay man? You seem a little quiet tonight.” Zacky looked up from his beer bottle, “Huh? Oh, yea I’m fine. Just tired is all.” Jenny looked at him questioningly, but finally nodded, “Alright…” She wanted to ask him what was really wrong, but she knew better than to do that while the other guys were around. It’s not that the guys didn’t trust each other, but personal issues weren’t really something you broadcasted after a show while you were all chilling in the dressing room together.
Brian looked around at everyone, “You guys up for the party?” Everyone said that they could use some time to chill and drink at the local bar, so they all started getting ready to go. Right before they left though, Jenny stopped at the door. “You know what?” she said slowly, “I think I’m just gonna go back to the bus. I’m exhausted and a few extra hours of sleep couldn’t hurt. You guys go though, have fun.” Johnny looked at her, “You sure? I mean, I’ll stay with you if you want.” Jenny laughed as she gave him a hug, “It’s fine man, don’t worry about it. I just need a little extra sleep. I’ll go with you guys next time if you want, okay?” He nodded, but still had concern written all over his face.
Jenny watched them as they all walked away and off to the closest bar. As Arin walked out he gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek, “You sure you’re okay?” She smiled at him, “Yea, I’m fine. Just need a little shuteye is all.” He nodded as he gave her one more hug and caught up with the rest of the guys.
Jenny walked back to the bus and flopped down on the couch. She was so tired, physically and emotionally. She didn’t know how much longer she was going to be able to keep up her strength. She picked up her phone and saw a text from Melody. She smiled; she and Melody had been friends for as long as she could remember. They were practically inseparable. And even though they were going to different colleges, they always hung out whenever they could outside of class. Jenny couldn’t imagine life without her as her best friend. She slid the screen up and read the message, “Hey, long time no talk haha. I know you’re having fun out there and that’s awesome, but call me when you get the chance okay? Love ya girly. <3” She smiled, and she started to dial Melody’s number but stopped.
There was one other person she really needed to talk to first. Someone who had been weighing on her conscience since this whole thing started. She hit the end button and then started to dial Corey’s number. She was expecting it to go straight to voicemail, but to her surprise, he picked up. She didn’t really know what she was going to say, but she just wanted to talk to him. He actually sounded happy to hear from her, “Hey, what’s up?” She smiled to herself, “Nothing, tryin’ not to fall asleep haha. You?” There was a pause, “Nothing really. Melody’s here.” Jenny started to laugh, “Really? Can you put her on for a sec?” “Yea sure.” There was a pause and she heard the phone being traded off and then she heard Melody’s voice on the other end of the line, “Hey! Holy shit I miss you!” Jenny laughed, “I miss you too girl.” There was a momentary silence and then Melody asked, “Alright, I’ve gotta ask, what’s it like touring with the guys? What are they like?” Jenny chuckled, “Dude, it’s so surreal. Like, holy shit. The guys are awesome. They’re like the older brothers I never had, ya know? They’re so sweet and funny and just, awesome to hang around. Not to mention they give me free alcohol haha.” Melody laughed, “Jennifer! You drank beer? I don’t believe it! Finally living life on the edge. Good for you haha.” Jenny smiled to herself, “Yea. I’m breaking out of my shell a little. It feels good. When we come back to town I’m so gonna have to introduce you to the guys. You’ll love them.” Melody laughed, “I bet I will,” she paused, “shit, I gotta go. My dad’s here to pick me up. It was good talking to ya girly. Call me next time you can okay? Don’t party too hard haha. Love you!” Jenny smiled, “Love you too! Bye!”
She listened and then heard Corey’s voice on the other end of the line again. “So…” he said slowly. Jenny didn’t really know what to say, “So, how’s it going?” She heard Corey sigh, “It’s fine. Are you coming home?” Jenny bit her fingernail, she didn’t want to say no and have him hang up, but she also couldn’t lie to him. But she didn’t have to; her silence had given her away. He sounded angry, “Look, I told you, don’t call unless you’re coming back. I don’t want to be tortured with hearing how happy you are while I’m here falling apart okay? I can’t handle that.” Jenny sighed as she tried to fight back the tears, “Well I can’t handle my best friend completely shutting me out. Do you have any idea how much it’s been bothering me Cor? It sucks and it hurts and I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m sick of getting the silent treatment like I’m in the first grade again.” Corey was silent, “Look, I’m sorry but I can’t be friends with you if you’re just going to walk out on me like that like it’s no big deal.” Tears were running down Jenny’s face; she was so thankful that he couldn’t see her, “Why can’t you be like Melody? She’s handling it just fine.” Corey snapped, “Because Melody’s not in love with you!” That statement shocked Jenny into silence for a minute, “Look, I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, but what do you want me to do man? This is a once in a lifetime thing. Once I go back home, this is never gonna happen again. Why can’t I enjoy this? I mean, I’m not asking for much.” Corey took a deep breath, “Fine, go have fun. Do whatever the fuck you want. Just forget about me.” She was about to say something when he hung up the phone. She listened to the dial tone for a minute before finally hanging up.
Tears were streaming down her face and she started to cry. And not the little cries that she had like when she got into a fight with Arin, this was something that she hadn’t done for the longest time. It was like something inside her snapped. She stood up from where she was sitting at the table and went into the back of the bus and dug to the bottom of her drawer in the dresser. She felt around the floor of the drawer and finally felt the cool smoothness of the steel of her razor blade. She lifted her shirt up and cut into her stomach. It was a sharp painful sting, but it was all she needed. She did that a few times and watched the blood form bubbles along the cut lines before they finally ran in little streams before hitting the waist of her jeans. She felt really light-headed all of a sudden and felt herself drifting off into a sleep.
When she woke up, the guys still weren’t back from the party yet. She sat up but immediately regretted it. Her stomach was tender and sore. She carefully stood up and took her shirt off and wrapped a kind of gauze around her stomach to cover up the cuts. She put the razor back in the drawer where it belonged. Then she changed into her pajamas and laid down on the couch and passed out again. All the while, her necklace hung loosely from her neck.
While all of that was going on, the guys were in the bar drinking and talking to all the fans that were there. The bartender knew them since they always went there after shows when they were in town. He looked at the guys from over the bar, “So, how’s the tour going?” Matt nodded as he took a sip of his beer, “It’s going good. People are diggin’ it. I can’t wait to start playing the new shit we’ve got.” The bartender laughed and nodded, “Well that’s good. Hey, where’s that new girl you guys have touring with you now? What’s her name…Jenny?” Zacky answered, “Oh, she’s on the bus. Touring and partying is finally starting to catch up with her haha.” The bartender nodded knowingly, “I remember when he was like that,” he said as he looked over at Arin. He paused, “As a matter of fact, I remember when all of ya were like that. Before you guys became so hardcore haha.” Brian laughed as the man poured him another glass of beer. The bartender glanced over at Johnny, “You’re awfully quiet tonight man. What’s on your mind?” He slid Johnny another bottle of beer, which he opened gratefully, but he still didn’t respond. Arin motioned the man to come closer, “He’s just worried about Jenny. She’s like his little sister.” The man chuckled, “Gotcha. Oh, and what’s the deal with you and that girl? People are saying that you two are dating?” Arin laughed, “Nah man, me and her are just really good friends. Nothing more.” The bartender smiled, “Yea, we’ll see how long that lasts.” Arin laughed as he took another sip of his beer. Matt looked around, “Alright, well, before any of you guys get like you were a few days ago, let’s get back to the bus.” Brian paid the bartender and they all said their goodbyes. As they started walking back to the bus, Arin slowed down so he could walk in the back with Johnny, “You okay man?” Johnny shrugged, “More or less.” Arin looked at him, “What’s up man?” Johnny looked back at Arin, his face filled with a kind of hurt that was almost indescribable, “She’s been acting different lately. I mean, she’s happy when she’s out there performing or whatever, but it’s like when she’s not, she’s really upset about something. I dunno, I’m just worried.” Arin patted him on the back, “I’m sure she’s fine man. But if you’re really worried, ask her about it. I’m sure she’d tell you if you asked. She loves you man.” Johnny smiled half-heartedly, “Yea, I guess you’re right. Thanks man.”
They walked onto the bus and saw Jenny passed out on the couch. They all peeled off into their own rooms and directions. Johnny stayed and sat in Zacky’s chair for a little while and just watched Jenny as she slept. He finally got up and pulled an extra blanket over her and kissed her on the head. He lightly ruffled her hair, “Sleep tight.”
Jenny was the first to wake up the next morning. She slowly sat up, she felt sore all over. She gently put a hand over the gauze on her stomach, “I can’t believe this…” She looked down at her necklace that Johnny had given her and she felt tears well up in her eyes. She couldn’t believe that she had broken her promise to him. After everything that he’d done for her to keep her around, the least she could’ve done for him was to keep her promise, and she couldn’t even do that. She sighed and checked the time on her phone; it was only 9:00. She carefully laid back down and put her earphones in. She put on the mellowest music that she had in hopes that it would lull her back to sleep.
It didn’t work. But it definitely helped her relax a little. A few minutes later, she heard creaking sounds coming from the back room and she saw the short little shadow of Johnny in the doorway. She slowly closed her eyes as he walked forward and pulled something out of the refrigerator. She heard him sit down in one of the chairs at the table. After that, it was silence only broken by the sound of him drinking whatever he had gotten out of the fridge.
She heard someone else come from the back and sit down. Then she heard Zacky’s voice, “What’s up with you man? You were so off at the bar last night.” Johnny sighed, “Just worried is all. But what about you bro? After the show you went silent on all of us.” Zacky gave a small laugh, “It was nothing man. You ever have that feeling where all of your energy just disappears all of a sudden?” Johnny nodded. “Well,” said Zacky, “that was me.” “Oh,” Johnny said quietly, “alright. As long as you’re okay.”
Jenny turned over to face the guys and pretended that she had just woken up. Johnny smiled at her, “Morning there sleepy head.” Jenny gave a tired laugh, “Morning. How’d bar-hopping go last night?” Zacky laughed, “We don’t bar hop. We’re friends with one of the tenders at the local bars here. We always chill there.” She slowly sat up, “Oh, cool.”
It was like the sound of their voices drew everyone into the living room like moths to a light. All the guys sat down around the table and on the couch with Jenny. They talked about all the antics they’d pulled off in that bar in the past years of going there. Arin told Jenny about his first time going there, how the bartender just kept pouring him more and more of this one drink. And, even though Arin didn’t know what it was, he just kept drinking it because it tasted good. “I soon learned,” he said with a tired laugh, “that you always ask what a drink is and what’s in it before you take multiple glasses of it. No matter how many times Brian may feel the need to relive his “Take the shot!” moment haha.” Jenny laughed as she leaned back onto Arin’s shoulder.
Matt looked at the clock on the wall of the bus, “You guys wanna go grab breakfast somewhere before hitting the road again?” Johnny stood up and stretched, “Yea sure, why not?” All the guys got up and changed except for Arin who stayed with Jenny. He looked down at her, “You alright?” She nodded, “Yea, just tired.” He was about to say something to her when the guys walked back in. “Alright lovebirds,” said Matt with a laugh, “time to go eat. You can snuggle later.”
Arin helped Jenny stand up and as she went to walk out, Arin wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back close to him. She gave a quiet wince, but hoped that he didn’t notice. He did of course though. He looked at her over her shoulder, “Jenn?” She couldn’t look back at him; she just stared down at his hands, thinking about how any second he’d be able to see the blood soaking through her shirt. He spun her around but she still wouldn’t look at him. He gently lifted her chin up with his hand, “Jenny? What’s wrong?” Tears started running down her cheeks as she lifted her shirt just enough so he could see the blood-soaked gauze. His eyes grew wide in shock and fear, “Oh my god, what happened? I didn’t do that did I? I’m so sorry I didn’t-” She cut him off with a kiss. She un-wrapped the gauze and when he saw the cuts, he sat back down on the couch. He literally didn’t have the strength in his legs to stand anymore. He looked up at her, tears in his eyes, “Why?”