Only Up From Here

When I finally decided to go home hours later I thought my head felt pretty clear. I had heard the guys yelling for me a few times but I never answered. I just sat in the silence and let nature do its thing. It was nice to have a few hours to myself without any distractions. Now I just needed to face them and tell them what I had finally decided to do.

I walked into the house and no one seemed to be around, kind of a relief when I thought about it. I walked up to my room and opened the door making sure it was closed tightly behind me.

“Oh my god!” There on my bed lay Brock.

“I am so SORRY! I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“What the hell are you doing in my room? I thought you had some rule with John you couldn’t be in here.”

“I do which is why you need to keep it down.”

I looked at him wondering why the hell he was in my room and lying on my bed. I continued to stare until he finally said something.

“Look I was just waiting for you to get back to make sure you made it OK. I was worried and I just really wanted to apologize for EVERYTHING.”

“Go on.”

“Well, first I just want to apologize for not telling you who my dad was,”

“I never asked either, it is just as much my fault.”

“Please let me finish. . “ He went on to tell me about the conversation he had with his dad and how he was done with him completely. He told me everything his dad had said and he promised he left nothing out. “I am also sorry for how I acted tonight.” He went on to say he was sorry a million more times.

“Stop!” He didn’t say another word and his eyes finally fell to my mine. “I don’t know what I did with Shane tonight, it was a spur of the moment thing I guess. He was the one that was there with me and I don't know why I kissed him or he kissed me. If it had been you with me it probably would have been you.”

“Wait what?”

“I think I just am so sick of being alone I am searching for someone to take care of me. What I realized tonight is that I have someone who is taking care of me and he is doing an amazing job.” I sat down next to him on the bed. “You are the sweetest man I have ever met Brock but right now I don’t know what is going on. I need to be here for John because he is the one I really need.”

Brock wrapped his arms around me. “I know. I realized that tonight after you left. I think you are amazing and you are one of my best friends and I don’t want to loose you.

“ I agree I don’t want to loose you either but I also don’t want to loose Shane but only because I am uncertain of him.”

Brock looked at me with a confused look, “What do you mean?”

“I have been thinking and to be honest I think Shane is a sweetheart and he is a really nice guy but I also think there is something going on. He is always there right when I need someone. It is truly unnatural.”

“So you think that there is something going on, like with him and your parents death?”

“Yes. I can not prove it yet and I may just be projecting because I want to blame someone but after tonight I just don’t feel right about him. I am going to keep him around, be friends with him.”

“You are sure about this?” He turned and looked at me.

“Yes, but I also want you to know that it may lead to me being more then friends with him so I can get him to tell me what I need to know. I am not sure how you feel about that . . . “ I was not sure what my life had turned into, all I wanted was for someone to be punished for what had happened. I would do whatever needed to be done.

“I think if that is what you need to do I guess do it.” He looked at his hand.

“Brock?” He looked up at me. “I just want you to know that no matter what happens with Shane you are the one I am always going to come back to you. You are always going to be the one I confide everything in and who I will trust.” With that I leaned in and kissed his cheek. I stood and grabbed my clothes and changed in the bathroom. When I came out Brock still sat there in the exact same spot. “Sleep with me tonight?”

“I am not sure if that is a good idea, I mean with John and his rules and everything.”

“It will be fine. I will tell him to lay off.”

With that we lay down and he wrapped me in his arms and a felt safe again, like I had made the right choice.

“Goodnight Kali Jo.”

Brock’s P.O.V.

What the hell was I going to do now? She had officially friend zoned me! How did she not see I felt something more for her then just a friendship? I guess it was better then nothing but to be honest, I wanted more. I knew it sounded crazy due to the fact I had just ended a two-year, almost marriage, relationship but it didn’t feel crazy.

What was I going to do? I guess I will just have to go with the flow and show her somehow that I don’t like her making out with anyone at all, unless that anyone happened to be me. I would continue not talking to my dad just because I knew if I did it would upset her. I would stay as FAR away from Shane as I could because I wouldn’t be able to be serious with him knowing what I knew.

I just can’t get over the fact she thinks he played a role in what happened to her parents. It got me wondering if she thought he was on the horse or if he just knew who was.