Status: In the process of being written =) Stick with me for a great story that may hit some of you a litle closer to home <3
Only Up From Here
There is Something Holding Me Back
Kali’s P.O.V.
I turned and looked out the window to see Brock crossing the yard smiling. He turned once to look at me I gave a little wave before heading up the stairs. I needed to change and get this apology over with. I wasn’t sure why I was such a bitch to John; I had no right to step on him like I did. I knew Brock was right I needed to say I was sorry. I threw on some jeans, a shirt, threw my hair up, and ran down the stairs and slipped into my boots.
I walked out into the yard and looked around. I didn’t see John, which could mean one of two things. He was either out with a horse or in his little house. I figured I would try the latter first. As I knocked no one answered. I tried the handle and it opened. I walked in and saw John sitting at his small kitchen table.
“John?” I spoke quietly.
“Did I say come in? Cause I don’t think I did.” OK so he was mad.
“No you didn’t, but I also knew you wouldn’t and I have something I need to tell you. A couple of things actually.” I walked a little closer to him.
“I don’t want to talk to you Kali.”
“John, just listen please?”
“What do you want Kali Jo?” Ok, so he was REALLY mad.
“I want to apologize.” He huffed at me. “John what I did in the house was in no way right. If I had an issue I should have just talked to you about it and I didn’t. It was also not fair that I did it in front of Brock either.”
“Go on.”
“I just really want you to know I love you. You have always been a dad figure to me and I care SO much about you. I in no way ever meant to hurt you! I just I care about Brock. I don’t want you to scare him away.”
“Alright.”
“Do you accept my apology?” I stared at him just waiting.
He turned in his chair and looked at me. “I love you too Kali Jo and I promise I will never hurt you. I think what you did back there was a bunch of bull but I understand I have been stepping on a very thin line. I am sorry if you feel a little smothered. I just don’t want to loose you. You are all I have left Kali.”
I walked to him and hugged him and sat on his lap just like when I was a little girl. I laid my head on his shoulder and he rubbed my back. “You’re all I have left too.” I closed my eyes and listened to his heartbeat.
After a few minutes, “What else do you have to tell me?”
“Well, the small thing first. Brock and I are unofficially together.” I knew Brock and I had agreed not to say anything due to the timing but I knew eventually John would have to deal with it. The sooner it happened the more willing he would be to accept the situation I really wanted his help with.
I felt him tense and I stood and sat across from him. “What do you mean by unofficial?”
“John, I want to be with him but there is something holding me back. That something is what happened to mom and dad.”
John stared at me again, “What does that have to do with Brock?”
“I think I know who was on one of those horses or at least who saw whoever was there.” Again John looked at me with a puzzled look. “Promise you won’t get mad?"
“Alright, I promise.” He nodded as he spoke.
“I think Shane had something to do with it.” I paused and waited to see what would happen. He stared at me but his knuckles turned white. “I know it sounds crazy.”
“Why do you think that?”
“He has been creeping around a lot. Seems like whenever I go out riding he ends up out there ‘bumping’ into me. It is honestly getting a little weird. He has been trying to be my best friend, wanting to know everything about me. At first I didn’t mind but now after sitting down and bringing it up to Brock he has noticed it to.”
John nodded his head as though he was thinking. “Alright, so what can I do to help?”
I was shocked at first that he was so willing to help before there was more proof or at least more explanation. I knew there had to be a catch. “I am going to be bringing him around as though he is my boyfriend. Be nice to him, don’t tell him that Brock and I are together, and pretend that you like the guy. Also, make sure to watch him a little closer then usual because I think he is going to be doing a little snooping.” I looked at my hands that were clenched together.
“OK. On one condition.”
And there it was, “What is the condition?”
“If you are going to be with Brock in whatever you call it these days, dating?” He shook his head as if it didn’t matter. “He can not be in your room at night. If you want him in the house sleeping like he is he sleeps in his own room. I have no issue with that. I don’t want you to get hurt sweetheart. I love you like a daughter and if you get hurt, I’ll kill him.” The way he spoke and the life I knew he came from; there was no sarcasm or joking in his words. “As for this Shane thing, I think you may be right. I have seen him around a few times not really snooping but just around.”
I hugged him again and looked out the window seeing Brock, “Alright, I promise he won’t sleep in my room. I will let him move into my own room and I will move into mom and dads room. You can move into the basement, the whole thing can be yours.”
“Sweetheart as much as I love you I can not do that. I like my own space and that gives me a little room to avoid whatever is going to happen between you and Brock.” He kissed me on the head and headed for the door. “Now that I am done mopping I better get my butt to work. Take the horses out would ya?”
“Of course.”
I smiled watching John leave, the man had always been there for me and I knew he would understand. Eventually I would have to figure out exactly what Shane had been doing what John had seen him “around”. For now I figured it would be best to get started on my own little plan. I started my walk back to the house smiling and giving Brock a little wave. I would just have to fill him in later.
I turned and looked out the window to see Brock crossing the yard smiling. He turned once to look at me I gave a little wave before heading up the stairs. I needed to change and get this apology over with. I wasn’t sure why I was such a bitch to John; I had no right to step on him like I did. I knew Brock was right I needed to say I was sorry. I threw on some jeans, a shirt, threw my hair up, and ran down the stairs and slipped into my boots.
I walked out into the yard and looked around. I didn’t see John, which could mean one of two things. He was either out with a horse or in his little house. I figured I would try the latter first. As I knocked no one answered. I tried the handle and it opened. I walked in and saw John sitting at his small kitchen table.
“John?” I spoke quietly.
“Did I say come in? Cause I don’t think I did.” OK so he was mad.
“No you didn’t, but I also knew you wouldn’t and I have something I need to tell you. A couple of things actually.” I walked a little closer to him.
“I don’t want to talk to you Kali.”
“John, just listen please?”
“What do you want Kali Jo?” Ok, so he was REALLY mad.
“I want to apologize.” He huffed at me. “John what I did in the house was in no way right. If I had an issue I should have just talked to you about it and I didn’t. It was also not fair that I did it in front of Brock either.”
“Go on.”
“I just really want you to know I love you. You have always been a dad figure to me and I care SO much about you. I in no way ever meant to hurt you! I just I care about Brock. I don’t want you to scare him away.”
“Alright.”
“Do you accept my apology?” I stared at him just waiting.
He turned in his chair and looked at me. “I love you too Kali Jo and I promise I will never hurt you. I think what you did back there was a bunch of bull but I understand I have been stepping on a very thin line. I am sorry if you feel a little smothered. I just don’t want to loose you. You are all I have left Kali.”
I walked to him and hugged him and sat on his lap just like when I was a little girl. I laid my head on his shoulder and he rubbed my back. “You’re all I have left too.” I closed my eyes and listened to his heartbeat.
After a few minutes, “What else do you have to tell me?”
“Well, the small thing first. Brock and I are unofficially together.” I knew Brock and I had agreed not to say anything due to the timing but I knew eventually John would have to deal with it. The sooner it happened the more willing he would be to accept the situation I really wanted his help with.
I felt him tense and I stood and sat across from him. “What do you mean by unofficial?”
“John, I want to be with him but there is something holding me back. That something is what happened to mom and dad.”
John stared at me again, “What does that have to do with Brock?”
“I think I know who was on one of those horses or at least who saw whoever was there.” Again John looked at me with a puzzled look. “Promise you won’t get mad?"
“Alright, I promise.” He nodded as he spoke.
“I think Shane had something to do with it.” I paused and waited to see what would happen. He stared at me but his knuckles turned white. “I know it sounds crazy.”
“Why do you think that?”
“He has been creeping around a lot. Seems like whenever I go out riding he ends up out there ‘bumping’ into me. It is honestly getting a little weird. He has been trying to be my best friend, wanting to know everything about me. At first I didn’t mind but now after sitting down and bringing it up to Brock he has noticed it to.”
John nodded his head as though he was thinking. “Alright, so what can I do to help?”
I was shocked at first that he was so willing to help before there was more proof or at least more explanation. I knew there had to be a catch. “I am going to be bringing him around as though he is my boyfriend. Be nice to him, don’t tell him that Brock and I are together, and pretend that you like the guy. Also, make sure to watch him a little closer then usual because I think he is going to be doing a little snooping.” I looked at my hands that were clenched together.
“OK. On one condition.”
And there it was, “What is the condition?”
“If you are going to be with Brock in whatever you call it these days, dating?” He shook his head as if it didn’t matter. “He can not be in your room at night. If you want him in the house sleeping like he is he sleeps in his own room. I have no issue with that. I don’t want you to get hurt sweetheart. I love you like a daughter and if you get hurt, I’ll kill him.” The way he spoke and the life I knew he came from; there was no sarcasm or joking in his words. “As for this Shane thing, I think you may be right. I have seen him around a few times not really snooping but just around.”
I hugged him again and looked out the window seeing Brock, “Alright, I promise he won’t sleep in my room. I will let him move into my own room and I will move into mom and dads room. You can move into the basement, the whole thing can be yours.”
“Sweetheart as much as I love you I can not do that. I like my own space and that gives me a little room to avoid whatever is going to happen between you and Brock.” He kissed me on the head and headed for the door. “Now that I am done mopping I better get my butt to work. Take the horses out would ya?”
“Of course.”
I smiled watching John leave, the man had always been there for me and I knew he would understand. Eventually I would have to figure out exactly what Shane had been doing what John had seen him “around”. For now I figured it would be best to get started on my own little plan. I started my walk back to the house smiling and giving Brock a little wave. I would just have to fill him in later.