Confess My Heart and Forgive My Wrongs

Hi. Jenna Daniels. Currently 24 years of age and living in Maryland, Baltimore. I live with my best friend, Sara Peters, in an apartment. We've lived together for around a year and a half and it's the best thing, but you probably don't care. I work as a journalist in the same firm as Sara. We met at college as we were room mates and managed to get a job together once we graduated.

I didn't have a dull life, in fact it was the complete opposite. I was never having a dull moment, not with all that's going on in this crazy mind and life of mine.

"I hate it, I'm never getting back with her ever again. I'm so done with her bullshit, Jenna. I'm so done with it. She thinks I will just crawl back to her again and again, well I'm done." Alex said as he paced up and down my bedroom. I was spread across my bed watching him as his sweat and tears mixed together. What a way to spend my Friday night.

Oh yeah, I should of probably mentioned Alex. We've been best friends since kindergarten, he's been my longest best friend.

He's just broken up with his girlfriend. Well, I should say broke up again. This has probably been the 6th time in the last 2 months. Nearly every other week I have Alex turning up at my door, telling me he's never going back again but he ends up crawling back in a few days. He said he loves her but I don't see how someone can love someone that is so cruel to them.

I wasn't being a bad friend, not comforting, I've just been through it before. There's not point comforting because you know what's going to happen. It's always the same routine.

Alex turns up at my house crying. He cries more about how he hates her and what she does, hows he's not going to go back. I tell him it's going to be okay or tell him whatever crap I can come up with at the time. We eat ice cream together, make out and then he'll crash at my place. The next morning he'll go meet her and talk and the day after that they'll be back together.

Oh yeah, I said make out. Alex and I make out, sometimes it's led to more. Yes, we're best friends but I'd do anything to be on those lips, letting him touch me.

I did love my best friend. How cliche is that? Whatever, it was true.

"Alex, sit down. You're making me all jittery." I said as I shook my head. I sat upright on my bed and leaned over to the bedside table to grab a magazine. I began to flick through.

"How do you keep so calm? How can you sit there and read a magazine when I'm freaking out?!" He began to pace at a quicker speed.

"Alex, calm the fuck down." I closed the magazine and put it down on my lap. "There really isn't any need for you to freak out. You know what she's like anyway."

"I know you don't like Alice but-"

"Woah, it's beyond a dislike. I hate her, Alex. I hate your girlfriend-"

" Ex-girlfriend "

"Oh shut up, she'll be girlfriend again by the time the weekend has ended and you know it. As I was saying," I said resuming what was rudely interrupted. "I hate her for how she makes you feel. At least once a week you turn up to my apartment crying, it's a routine. Do you think I enjoy sitting here watching you cry your heart out? Because if you think I do, I defiantly don't."

Alex looked down as he sat down on the edge of my bed. "You say it to me all the time, don't go back , I don't listen. I should but I don't."

My heart was soon filled with guilt. I made him feel even worse and that was not my intention at all. I crawled over to him, sitting behind him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and placed my legs next to his, allowing him to sit in between them. I laid my head on his back. "I'm sorry. I never meant to seem harsh. It's just so upsetting to see you like this. You weren't one to cry this much before you were with Alice. I just don't like what she's done to you since you both got together."

Alex placed his hands on top of mine that were laying on his waist. "I love you Jenna, a lot. I'm so thankful for how you deal with this." Alex turned his head to face mine.

"I love you too, Alex. I just don't want you to be this hurt by someone like her." I leaned up to kiss his cheek, then let go of his waist. I could tell that he wanted to be facing me, the way his body was moving around. I moved my legs away from his as he turned his whole body to face me. We both sat crossed legged on my bed, looking into each others eyes. I could see the hurt in those big, brown chocolate eyes.

Those were the kind of eyes that should never have to show hurt.