Finding Who You Are

-End of tour-

"Welcome home!" I shouted as I jumped out from behind the couch at the Sixx household, hugging Ashley tightly.

"Awe thanks Rayne!" She squealed as she hugged me back before letting me go and allowing me to move on to hugging Nikki as Slash hugged her.

"Good job Nikks." I smiled as I hugged him, then moved to Vince as the little line of congrats to the guys continued. "Vince, I'm sorry again about our clash, but you did great on this tour." I laughed as I hugged the blonde.

"Thanks Rayne. I'm sorry too." He chuckled before letting me go.

I faced Tommy, looking up at his big smiley face. "Good job on not killing everyone T-Bone."

"Thanks, I thought I did a good job too!" He shouted as he threw his arms around my neck, picking my feet off of the ground as I squealed loudly.

"Hey, don't break her!" Slash laughed loudly as Tommy put me down and I went to walk to the last person in the band before I felt my heart drop to my ass... Mick...

I stared at him for a quick second... He looked like he was totally dead, like, if I poked him, he'd die.... He lifted his head to look into my eyes, but I quickly looked away, noticing how quiet the room had gotten. My eyes were filled with tears as I quickly pushed my way past everyone with a fake smile on my face as I walked into the kitchen.

"Ra.." Mick went to call out for me, but quit. Why did he stop? Was I not worth calling out for? Apparently not to him I wasn't.

"Let me handle it." Nikki sighed. "Come on, you know she wants you in there too." He pointed at Slash, grabbing his arm as Mick glared evily at him before they finally disappeared into the kitchen where they found me.

"Rayne." Slash whispered behind me, making me jerk a bit and sniffle as I used my sleeve to wipe away the silent tears.

"Yeah?" I quickly smiled as I faced him, noticing Nikki was in here too.

"You alright?" Nikki asked as he ran his large hand over my back.

I took a deep breath and tried to confidently nod my head, but failed and started shaking it 'no' violently. "I'm not okay Nikki... It hurts to see him after what he did to me.. I love him Nikks... It still hurts." I sobbed as he grabbed me and let me bury my face in his shoulder for comfort.

"Shh.. Shh..." He cooed into my hair as Slash just stood there with a sad look on his face... I didn't even think about how he was going to feel when I said that. God, why was I so stupid!?

"I'm going back in here." Slash muttered before bowing his head low and walking out.

"Now he hates me too!" I cried out to Nikki as he just frowned and shook his head.

"No, he doesn't hate you." Nikki whispered as he tilted my face up so he could look into my eyes. "He's just hurt because you're hurt."

Pshttt. Yeah right!! He's pissed because I still love Mick, and there is NO earthly fucking way around that... Now I won't have Mick, and I won't have Slash... Hmph.. Lovely.

My phone vibrated my thigh as I quickly grabbed it, reading the new text from Ash. 'Mick is gone. Slash is kinda upset. He hasn't said a word. He's just been sitting there, drinking and staring into space. Come in here.'

*sigh*

I stood up and pushed lightly away from Nikki and walked with him back into the living room. I saw what Ashley meant. He was just sitting there, like a zombie.

"I'm gonna go to a hotel for the night. I'll be back in the morning. Bye Saul. Love you Ash." I walked to Slash's non-moving, non-emotional body, kissed his cheek, waved to everyone, then grabbed my keys and left, letting the tears fall again.

I drove fast, not having a particular place in mind. I shut off my phone, and just drove through the darkness wondering to myself where I was going. Where was I going? I don't know...

I couldn't hardly see due to the tears that now streaked my face. One minute I remember listening to "Sail Away" by The Rasmus, the next minute, I'm on my road again, speeding like hell...

I was blinded by the street lights, and the alcohol I had drank earlier really didn't help my vision, neither did the tears. I started screaming at myself, and in a split second, I was spinning.

My car was flying through the air, and I was hitting the ground and rolling roughly. I was going about 100 mph when I actually crashed, and I had run off of the road. My car continued to roll, and roll... and roll until it finally came to a violent stop on the roof. I was suspended there, upside down with my seatbelt cutting into my waist as I cried silently.

I tried my damndest to get my phone from my pocket, turn it on, and call Ashley. I needed her right now. There was nobody on the road where I had went off, so nobody was going to come and help me anytime soon. Plus, I had went off a ditch, and I was laying in the woods. As far as I could tell, none of my bones were broken, but I was bleeding a good bit, which was not good at all.