Finding Who You Are

"I think I can handle that without killing myself." Nikki laughed as he started walking back to the house as he waved while I was backing out of the driveway.

I took off towards the phone store, making my way in and out of there as quickly as possible so I wouldn't waste anymore of my day. I had to swing by the store after getting my new phone and pick up somethings for dinner tonight with Ashley, Nikki, and of course, Dj....

I decided we'd have some salad tonight with some steak. The guys should be all for that one, I couldn't help but to laugh at myself as I grabbed the cube steaks and tossed them in the buggy and I saw Mick start smiling.

"Steak?" Mick asked curiously as he held onto my hand as I continued to push the buggy.

"Yes." I laughed at him. "But don't get to excited, we're having salad too."

And the smile dissapeared from his face. "You think I don't like salads?" Mick frowned.

"Well, most rockstars don't like salads!" I responded, and in my defense, that was about 50% true! Jeez. Most rockstars liked cocaine, heroin, and jack daniel's for dinner!

"Well I'm not 'all rockstars'" Mick scolded as he made little air quotation marks as I slapped his arm playfully.

"Come on Mars, if you were, you would have had me once, and just left. I know you're not like them, and that's why I love you." I smiled as I kissed him and quickly continued my journey to the salad.

"And that is why I love you. Because you are so down to earth, and you love me for me." Mick smiled as I blushed a bit. This dude was making this fucking trip to the store a little longer than I liked, but he was surely making it worth it just by being here with me.

I finally finished up and checked out, heading home as quickly as possible due to the fact that it was already 6:30pm. Of course, I hate being in rushes, and I was rushing tonight. Someone is bound to get bitched out.

I need to call Nikki to see if he's managed to call Dj yet.

"Yo' Nikki! You called Deej yet?" I asked as I heard him choke a bit on the other line.

"Oh yeah, he's here at the house. And 'Yo'?" He asked as I could practically see him raising his fluffy eyebrows at me. Urgh, could he not interrogate me today? I wasn't really in the mood for 50 questions.

"Yeah, Yo'. Anyways, you guys can come on over, I'm almost done with cooking dinner so by the time you all get here, it'll be done."

"Alright. See you soon. Bye." Nikki hung up first as I rolled my eyes at the phone.

The steaks got done just in time as I heard the doorbell ring and I immediately jumped to get it.

"Hey." I panted as I opened the door to reveal Dj as Nikki was still helping Ashley out of the car.

"Hey, long time no see." Dj smiled as he walked in and hugged me tightly, letting go quickly though. Maybe he knew I was kinda nervous about this whole dinner deal with him being here. God please don't let him try any funny stuff... That's the last thing I need.

I jogged outside to help Nikki with what looked like a giant cantalope, which happened to be Ashley and that frickin' GIANT belly of hers!! She was gonna bust at like, anytime!

"Jeez girl! When are you due to drop that thing?" I laughed as I let her grip tightly onto my hand to steady herself as she stood straight up.

"Just one more week. Umph." She grimmaced and grabbed her stomach and Nikki's face immediately turned to a worried look as he knelt down up front of her, checking to see if she was alright.

"Baby, are you alright?" Nikki panicked as Ashley kinda chuckled at him.

"See what I was telling you Rayne? It's changed him!" I couldn't help but you laugh at her, because I knew it was true!

"Oh shit..." Ashley muttered as she tried to wobble up the steps and failed horribly, frowning at herself. "I feel like a damn elephant..."

I just sighed and smiled at her. "You look beautiful, and you're not an elephant. Just think, you'll be bringing your very own little Sixx into this world soon." I smiled at her as I saw her eyes glimmer a bit as she teared up. "Smile babygirl."

"I love you so much Rayne." Ashley cried as she hugged me and Nikki stood there smiling as Mick walked outside, immediately worried about why Ashley was crying.

"She okay?" Mick asked curiously as Nikki nodded at him.

"Yeah, they're just having a girl moment about the 'little Sixx' baby that Ashley's carrying." Nikki laughed as Mick just smiled.

"Dinner is done and on the table, it's waiting on ya'll."

"Be in there in just a minute love." I replied as Mick gave me a kiss and made his way back in, Nikki following behind him.

"So, how about you and Mick? How's that going since the whole, Slash thing?" Ashley asked curiously as we pulled up two lawn chairs and sat down for a minute.

I took a deep breathe and just sighed. Slash hadn't talked to me since the last time I had saw him, which dissapointed me... Just because I was back with Mick didn't mean I couldn't still talk to him and still be friends... Apparently that's what Slash thought...

"Slash hasn't even talked to me..." I frowned as Ashley raised her eyebrow at me and immediately started shaking her head. "What?" I asked as she just laughed a bit.

"You aren't truely happy." She stated before reaching out and grabbing my hand, confusing me just a tad bit. I wasn't truely happy? I have the man I love back. I'm as happy as I could possibly get right now.

"What are you talking about? I've got Mick. I'm happy as hell." I smiled at her before she just shook her head.

"No, you aren't. When I said Slash's name, your face dropped. You can't deny the fact that everytime someone brings him up, you just melt. It makes your heart skip a beat... Rayne, you've fallen for Slashy boy.."

Oh fuck no... No, no, no, NO!! A million times no!! How the fuck did I manage to not see this sooner?! She was right!! His name made me depressed just as soon as she brought him up!! The very thought of him makes me lose thought of everything... I'm in love with two fucking people?!

"I love Mick, Ash... I can't love Slash too." I sighed deeply as I just looked off into the distance, wondering what Slash was doing right now... Maybe he was getting drunk, or high... Maybe fucking some random chick. Hmph...

"If you were truely in love with Mick, you never would have fallen for Slash in the first place." And with that, she got up and waddled inside, leaving me there alone in the yard to think...

She couldn't be right. No fucking way she was right! I love Mick to absolute death.. But Slash... Slash, Slash, Slash... God damn that man..

I couldn't stop myself, I just started crying. I pulled out my phone and immediately called Slash.. I had to see him, right now... I just have to test, one, thing...

"Hello?" I heard a drunken voice come from the other end of the phone.

"Hey Saul.. It's Rayne. I need to see you, like, right now." I sniffled as I heard him move away from all the other noise in the background and I heard women yelling for him to come back...

"Rayne..." Slash breathed deeply before speaking again. "Where do I need to meet you?" He asked, suddenly seeming totally sober.

"The store that's about 10 minutes from Mick's house. Hurry, I won't have much time. The guys are all over for dinner." I sighed, suddenly feeling bad for what I was doing... Was I seriously about to go see Slash behind Mick's back? Mick was the one who betrayed me the first time, and now I was doing this to him? God, forgive me...