Never See Me Giving In

Skye

Someone was saying my name softly. My eyes fluttered open as I was met with Danielle’s piercing eyes. I stared at her for a moment before tears filled mine.

“Harry,” I whispered softly as my heart continued to break. I needed to see him. I needed to touch him. Hey eyes showed sympathy and I looked away, pulling my hand from hers. I tried to curl up as best as I could with my back to her. My arm was feeling slightly better today and pain didn’t shoot through my arm every time I tried to use it. Unless that was just the drugs working. Danielle left the room after a few more failed attempts at trying to talk to me. My doctor came in.

“It’s good to see you awake Skye.” He said smiling at me. I didn’t answer.

“Would you like to go for a shower,” I once again didn’t answer. He frowned slightly and a nurse walked in.

“This is Janey, she’s going to help you shower okay?” I didn’t answer still. He sighed and left the room as nurse Janey smiled at me comfortingly and helped me sit up. With a little bit of trouble we finally made it into the bathroom. I stayed still as Janey stripped me down. I looked at myself in the full body length mirror. My skin was extremely pail and I had bruises and cuts littering my body. There was a darker bruise on my abdomen. My upper thigh had stitches and my head had a pretty deep gash. The rest of my body contained small cuts and bruises. I looked like I had been through hell and back. I certainly felt like it.

Janey helped me into the shower where I was instructed to sit as she washed my body and hair. I stayed still and motionless as my mind went in and out of focus. Janey seemed to understand that I didn’t want to talk and I was glad. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I just wanted Harry.

After the shower, Janey had to replace a bandage over my stitches and the gash on my head before helping me dress and walked me back into my room.

“Is there anything you need?” She asked softly as she helped me back into bed.

“Harry,” I mumbled. She frowned slightly before leaving the room. I sighed and stayed sitting up staring around the room.

I sat up playing with my fingers as flashes of the crash went through my mind. The spinning, the pain, the confusion and the panic. Someone cleared their throat from the door making me look up. It was an older woman dressed in a causal pair of jeans and a polo shirt with the hospital name across it. She walked in her shoes clicking across the floor.

“Hi Skye, I’m Jillian,” she said kindly to me sending me a huge smile. I merely continued to watch her.

“Would you like to talk about what happened?” She asked me kindly sitting in the chair next to my bed. I shook my head at her.

“What would you like to talk about then?”

“Harry,” I croaked out as tears once again welled up in my eyes. I had an aching in my chest that could only be helped when I saw him.

“Are you and Harry in a relationship?”

“Yes,” I whispered out as a few tears fell down my face. “Please, I just need to see him,”

“Do you think you will feel better if you can see him?” she asked kindly. I nodded quickly but stopped when it made me head hurt.

“Okay how about if we talk for a little bit and then I can see what we can do about you seeing Harry. Does that sound alright?” She asked me softly. I stared at her for a while before eventually nodding.

“Can you tell me what you remember from the crash?”

I took a deep breath before explaining exactly what happened to the best that I couldn’t remember it. Jillian cut in here and there to ask how I was feeling in certain points and to see if could clear up certain blurred parts of my memory.

“Okay that should be all for today. Let me see what I can do about allowing you to see Harry,” She said patting my knee comfortingly before leaving the room. I exhaled in relief hoping that someone would finally allow me to see Harry.

After she left Danielle came in to sit with me. She tried to talk but I wasn’t in the mood. I wasn’t in the mood to talk unless it was about Harry. I only wanted Harry. I curled up in a ball as she continued to talk and ask me questions. I closed my eyes and wished everyone away.

“What are you thinking about?” I heard her ask. My eyes opened and I stared into hers.

“I wish I never woke up,” I whispered softly staring right into her eyes. I watched her eyes grow wide and her mouth flew open in shock. Suddenly here eyes got hard and she glared at me. I sat up startled as she flew up from her seat knocking her chair flying. Liam and Louis appeared in the doorway confused.

“DON’T YOU DARE SAY THAT! How can you say that! Do you know what it was like for us? What it was like to get a call from the hospital telling us that you were in a coma from a CAR CRASH! We have all been here for two whole freaking weeks by both your bedsides wishing and praying that you both will wake up. And you finally did!

“So how dare you wish that you never did! Just because Harry’s still in a coma doesn’t mean he won’t wake up. And what about us Skye? Did you think about us! It’s not just you that’s hurting you know! We all love him! And we all love you! So don’t you DARE say that!” Danielle stormed out of the room tears rolling from her eyes.

I wanted to apologise but I was too numb to care. I was too numb to even notice their pain. Their pain was not mine, I could barely feel my pain. It was almost nonexistent. How did they expect me to live without him? Everything I did was for him; if he doesn’t wake up I can’t exist.

A little while later my doctor came back in followed by Eleanor and Louis.

“If you stay in the wheel chair, you may go see Mr. Styles,” my doctor told me. I practically ripped the blankets off myself as I struggled to the side of the bed. In an instant Louis was by my side helping me up and into the wheel chair. I sat waiting as Louis began to push me out of the room. We stopped outside the door right next to mine. I glanced at them surprised. He had been so close to me all this time. I assumed our rooms were being payed a lot for to keep the paparazzi out.

We stopped outside the room suddenly and I glanced at Louis annoyed. He sighed.

“Just be ready Skye. That’s not our Harry in there. It’s not your Harry...” he trailed off. I looked at him strangely. Of course this was my Harry, there was no other Harry. He pushed me in the room and Niall was standing in my view of Harry. He turned around and saw us. He paused slightly and came forward to give me a kiss on the cheek before moving out of my way. I covered my mouth with my hand after a small squeal echoed through the room.

Louis pushed me towards the bed and I now knew what he meant. This wasn’t our Harry, this wasn’t my Harry. My Harry was upbeat, loving, angry, crazy, vibrant, beautiful, alive and perfect. This Harry, this Harry that was on the bed in front of me was not him. This Harry was pale, bruised and cut. There was a bandage around his head blocking me from seeing his beautiful brown curls. He was still and motionless and there were wires and tubes sticking out of him connecting him to the many various machines around the room. This Harry was damaged. My hand shook as I reached out to grab his. His hands were cold; I could feel the tears fall down my cheeks as I stared at the lifeless body of my boyfriend. This was not my Harry.

“Wake up,” I squeaked out squeezing his hand.

“Wake up,” I said louder shaking his hand slightly.

“Wake up!” I said louder again reaching forward to shake his shoulder but he still wouldn’t move. He wouldn’t wake up. My body shook as sobs raked through my body. Louis arms were around me and I had my hands curled into his shirt as I cried against him.

“Maybe we should take her back,” Niall said softly.

“No,” I mumbled quickly pulled away from Louis. “I want to be here, I need to be here.”

I quickly took Harry’s hand again and began to slowly rub my fingers in different patters across the palm of his hand as I watched his serene face.

The others left the room but I knew they wouldn’t be far away.

“You need to wake up. I need you to wake up. Because you are not allowed to leave me got it? You cannot make me move half way around the world to live with you and then leave me. You are not allowed to die on me. So you are going to wake up and you are going to be okay. We are going to be okay. I’m going to attend college. You are going to make more beautiful music. You are going to go on world tours and our relationship is going to survive them. Then we are going to get married and have babies and they’re going to have babies. And we are going to grow old together because I need you.”

“After everything we’ve been through, after every time I pushed you away and you stayed. Now I’m asking you to stay for me just one more time. Fight to come back for me. I love you Harry. Do you hear me? I love you Harry Edward Styles. So wake up.”