Never See Me Giving In

Skye

“This is all my fault,” I mumbled completely shocked, falling into an empty seat in the private room Harry and I had found.

“No, this is not your fault. If anyone was to blame it would be me, hell actually it would the psycho who did this. But this is not your fault,” Harry said sternly coming to kneel down in front of me. He reached forward to grab my shaking hands but I quickly pulled them back.

“Why on earth wouldn’t you tell met this Harry!” I said angrily staring down at him.

“Because I didn’t want you to get upset,” he said softly to me. I made a frustrated sound before standing up and pushing past him.

“No you don’t get to get away with it this time. You don’t get to say you were protecting me and I let you. Not this time Harry! You can’t keep this stuff from me. You’re lying to me!”

“I didn’t lie!”

“Well you didn’t tell me! What’s the difference?”

“You’re my girlfriend. I’m supposed to protect you,” He stated anger flashing through his eyes.
“There is a limit Harry. How can I trust you if you won’t tell me anything? How can I trust you if you keep things from me for my protection?” I asked him.

“Of course you can trust me!”

“How can I trust that you will tell me everything that happens while you’re away huh? How can I trust that while on tour you won’t keep things from me for my protection?” I screamed at him.

Harry stared at me slightly shocked as we stood there both breathing heavily not knowing what to say next.

“You honestly don’t trust me?” Harry asked softly looking hurt. I stared at him for a moment before sighing and turning away.

“I trust that you love me and I trust that you will protect me. But what worries me is what you have to protect me from.”

“So what you think I’m going to do something. You think I’m going to cheat on you is that it?” He asked from behind me. I could hear the surprise and anger in his voice. I turned back to him to see he had moved a lot closer.

“I don’t know Harry. I just don’t. I want to trust you but I just can’t...” I trailed off feeling terrible. “I need time to think,”

Harry’s whole composure stiffened the moment those words left my mouth. I couldn’t meet his eyes.

“I’ll give you space to think then,” he said suddenly and he stormed out of the room before I had even processed what he said. I closed my eyes tightly as my body began to shake. I willed the tears away.

I was being stupid, I was taking the easy way out. I knew that. But it hurt so much. It hurt knowing that someone had tried to shoot me because I was with Harry. It hurt knowing that two of my friends got shot instead of me. It hurt knowing that soon Harry would be leaving. It also hurt knowing that Harry wasn’t going to fight for me anymore that he broke the promise and left while we fought.

He had fought for me. He had tried and he thought he had won me. But I had just hurt him more than I ever had before. I knew that. I knew by telling him that I didn’t trust him would hurt him. But I still did it because I thought hurting him would ease the pain on me. I was so wrong though.
Harry and I were so connected that I couldn’t hurt without hurting myself. I needed Harry but it was that exact reason why I was afraid of having him. Afraid of having him and then he decided to leave me because he no longer needed me, he would no longer want me.

I tried to be better then who I had been. I tried to give Harry everything he deserves but I was reverting back to who I had been. I was reverting back to the girl who was too afraid to love Harry Styles.

“Skye?” I spun around hoping to see Harry but it was Louis. I let a sob escape my mouth before I felt myself hit the floor.

Louis arms were suddenly around me as he tried to calm me down. It didn’t work though, I needed Harry but I pushed him away, again.

“I told him I didn’t trust him,” I mumbled miserable to Louis as we sat on the ground. I heard him sigh.

“And why did you do that?” He asked me softly being patient with me.

“Because he scares me,” I admitted to him. “It scares me how much I love him. What if I lose him?”

“You don’t get it do you? I thought we had had this talk Skye, I thought we had moved on from this talk. Harry loves you. He never plans on losing you ever!” Louis said seriously.

“Then why did he leave. He just left, he didn’t fight me. He just walked away,” I said slightly hurt.
“Because he’s exhausted Skye. He’s exhausted from fighting for you. He’s exhausted from protecting you. And sometimes how much he loves you can exhaust him. Maybe it’s time you fight for his love.”

I knew Louis was right but I didn’t think I was strong enough. Not right now.

“Maybe you should sleep at Eleanor’s tonight, give each other some space.” Louis offered. I was about to protest but then thought that maybe it was a good idea, maybe it would be good to get some space. I eventually nodded and Louis left to grab Eleanor.

-

I tossed and turned in Eleanor’s spare bed, not being able to sleep as my brain concocted up images of a guy with a gun. I was beyond scared and I knew only one person who could help. I sighed and rolled over glancing at the time on the clock. It was midnight.

I debated in my head on what to do but I knew both my body and soul needed Harry at this point.
I rolled out of bed grabbing my stuff before heading out of the room. I walked over to wear Eleanor kept her keys and then quickly wrote her a note telling her I went home and I would get Louis to drop her car back off in the morning.

I practically jogged to the car in the cold winter weather and turned the heater right up the moment I got it. I kind of felt back for taking Eleanor’s car but I knew if she was awake she probably would have encouraged me to do this anyway. The streets of London were fairly dead as I easily made my way back home.

My heart was beating hard against my ribcage as I parked the car and slowly made my way up to the apartment. As quietly as I could I slid my key into the lock and pushed the door open. The apartment was completed dark and I relied on my other senses to guide me towards mine and Harry’s room.

I took a deep breath before I pushed open the door. I stopped surprised however when the moonlight through the windows lit up the figure sitting on the bed. Harry looked up from where he was sitting, knees pulled up to his chest and head in his hands.

His eyes were slightly red and his hair was a mess illustrating how much he had been tugging at it in his frustration.

I stood in the doorway awkwardly for a moment as we continued to stare at each other.

“Hi,” I said softly to him.

“Hi,”

“I was scared and I uh wanted to come home, to you,” I said quietly not meeting his gaze. He never replied.

“I’m sorry,” I sobbed out not having the energy to fight the pull between us. I quickly dropped my stuff and crawled up the bed into his waiting arms.

I sighed in relief as he pulled my body tightly against his and buried his face in my hair, rubbing his hand soothingly down my back.

“I am so freaking sorry,” I whispered into his neck.

“It’s okay. You’re here now,” He stated hugging me closer to him.

We stayed like that for a while longer before my tears finally stopped. Harry pulled away slightly to look down at me.

“We need to talk,” He said staring into my red eyes. My heart and stomach dropped as I stared up at him. I nodded hesitantly.

“We should sleep first though,” He added on before pulling the blanket up around us. I curled up into his side as he held me close, his warmth radiating through my body.

I knew however that I wouldn’t be sleeping that night and neither did Harry. We just lied there awake and holding onto each other tightly not wanting to let go. I was afraid that if I let go of Harry now he might just walk away.

We had to talk but I was afraid that maybe he had had enough of me. That maybe he no longer loved me. My eyes shut tightly as I willed these thoughts away and my heart beat erratically. I needed him and I loved him. We were going to be okay right?