Status: Slow -I hope you like it, this is totally different to what people is used to write and read and I really like it. Let me know what you think :)
I Will Hold You When No One's Around
Chapter 3
I will hold you when no one’s around.
3-
Ally, my dear ally… She’s gone. She’s gone and she hates me. Why did I react like that? Am I a freaking lesbian? No way. It sounds so disgusting!
“You’ve had boyfriends before, you like guys!”
“But I like Ally!”
“Then, my friend, you are a lesbian. Am I wrong?”
“I’m not a lesbian! What’s your side!?”
“I’m straight, right in the heterosexual side. What about you?”
“Don’t make fun of yourself, I’m not a lesbian.”
“Lesbo.”
“I’m not a lesbian!”
“If you are not a lesbian then why did you kiss her back?”
“I don’t know!”
“You don’t know? You do! You like her! Admit it! YOU ARE A LESBIAN”
“I don’t… I’m not!”
“You don’t like her and you kissed her, you hurt her!”
“I know, but I don’t know how to make it up to her.”
“I don’t blame her for hating you, she’s in love and you are a heartless bitch.”
“I am not a bitch!”
“Yes, you are. You kiss her and then you act so sorry about it and then you are jealous and then you
fucking kiss her again and when she tells you what she wants you back off, tell her she’s a damn weirdo and break her heart.”
Oh my God, I was a heartless bitch. I was so selfish and now she was hurt because of me.
“WHY AM I SUCH AN IDIOT?” –I shout and kicked the table which was right in front of me.
I was so confused, so dizzy about my feelings. I certainly loved Ally; I really did, but was it okay to start something with her? She was my best friend, and I couldn’t just lose her like that. My head hurt very much, love, disappointment, lust and hate, all inside it. It hurt so much I just decided to take some Advil and go to bed. I was so immersed inside of my thoughts but at the same time I was so tired, I fell asleep and didn’t even notice.
My brain kept messing with me in my dreams, though. I couldn’t stop seeing her, looking at me with those incredibly big light eyes, saying that she wants me, that she needs me. Taking my hand, touching me, hugging me, kissing me with those sweet, meaty, perfect lips of hers… Telling me that she loved everything about me.
And I loved everything about her. Her smile, the way she laughs, the way she interlaces each one of our fingers while holding hands, that nice spot she had underneath her left eye, her body and how
sexy she was every time, the way she would create chills all over my body with one single touch, the way her face looks when she pouts and sticks her bottom lip out, the way she moves her nose when she’s going to sneeze…
Man, she looked so damn cute when she did that.
Jesus Christ, was I in love?
Ok, just think a bit: She kissed you and you kissed her, why did you kiss her? Was it because of the heat of the moment? No, it wasn’t. Was it because you felt pushed by her? No, it wasn’t. Was it because you wanted to feel what kissing a girl was? Maybe.
Twice? …Shit.
Wait, what about that guy she was with before? Were they dating? Not a chance. He was way too much of a jerk, I could tell. She’d had a lot of prospects before him, and each one of them was a pretty nice match, actually, but… this dude? What the hell? He wasn’t even good looking. He might be a cousin, right? Or a friend? A neighbor? God.
“Let’s just think, okay?”
“K.”
“If you were a couple, would you care about what other people say?”
“I have never cared about it; I wouldn’t care this time…”
“Will anything change between you two?”
“Well, no, I think. We would fuck now, but that’s all.”
“This is not a good time to play funny, you idiot”
“Okay… Sorry.”
“Would you be happy?”
“Totally happy…”
“Would it hurt if she found someone else?”
“It would hurt as hell…”
“What do you have to lose?”
“A friend?”
“Nothing.”
“Are you a lesbian?”
“I am a flaming homo.”
“No shit, Sherlock.”
WAIT. I am out of my mind. I am insane! I must be. Jesus Christ. I need to stop arguing with myself, I need to see a doctor… No, I better… I just need to take a rest, of everything and everyone, that’s it. I’ll just relax. I will sleep, watch TV, listen to music, read and eat like there is no tomorrow and… do stuff.
Sure I would disappear from society for a couple days, but that wouldn’t keep me from thinking about Ally for a single minute.
“And there she was, like a starry night.
Like a Ferris wheel, full of blue green eyes
And a heart of steel always on her own
Almost never real”
She was so perfect…
“When the night will begin
The pain, it won’t end even if she falls in love.
Back, you want to turn back, your heart will attack
Even if she falls in love.”
“Even If She Falls”, by Blink 182. I hadn’t related to or found any sense in the lyrics of that song until now.
“And there she was like a blade of ice
like a lonely road, clear as day, alive.
Always sharp and cold, always beautiful
I am such a fool.”
How was it I broke her heart? I loved her.
“Try to look in her eyes the light is just right
Even if she falls in love and it isn’t so bad it’s
driving you mad even if she falls in love.”
3-
Ally, my dear ally… She’s gone. She’s gone and she hates me. Why did I react like that? Am I a freaking lesbian? No way. It sounds so disgusting!
“You’ve had boyfriends before, you like guys!”
“But I like Ally!”
“Then, my friend, you are a lesbian. Am I wrong?”
“I’m not a lesbian! What’s your side!?”
“I’m straight, right in the heterosexual side. What about you?”
“Don’t make fun of yourself, I’m not a lesbian.”
“Lesbo.”
“I’m not a lesbian!”
“If you are not a lesbian then why did you kiss her back?”
“I don’t know!”
“You don’t know? You do! You like her! Admit it! YOU ARE A LESBIAN”
“I don’t… I’m not!”
“You don’t like her and you kissed her, you hurt her!”
“I know, but I don’t know how to make it up to her.”
“I don’t blame her for hating you, she’s in love and you are a heartless bitch.”
“I am not a bitch!”
“Yes, you are. You kiss her and then you act so sorry about it and then you are jealous and then you
fucking kiss her again and when she tells you what she wants you back off, tell her she’s a damn weirdo and break her heart.”
Oh my God, I was a heartless bitch. I was so selfish and now she was hurt because of me.
“WHY AM I SUCH AN IDIOT?” –I shout and kicked the table which was right in front of me.
I was so confused, so dizzy about my feelings. I certainly loved Ally; I really did, but was it okay to start something with her? She was my best friend, and I couldn’t just lose her like that. My head hurt very much, love, disappointment, lust and hate, all inside it. It hurt so much I just decided to take some Advil and go to bed. I was so immersed inside of my thoughts but at the same time I was so tired, I fell asleep and didn’t even notice.
My brain kept messing with me in my dreams, though. I couldn’t stop seeing her, looking at me with those incredibly big light eyes, saying that she wants me, that she needs me. Taking my hand, touching me, hugging me, kissing me with those sweet, meaty, perfect lips of hers… Telling me that she loved everything about me.
And I loved everything about her. Her smile, the way she laughs, the way she interlaces each one of our fingers while holding hands, that nice spot she had underneath her left eye, her body and how
sexy she was every time, the way she would create chills all over my body with one single touch, the way her face looks when she pouts and sticks her bottom lip out, the way she moves her nose when she’s going to sneeze…
Man, she looked so damn cute when she did that.
Jesus Christ, was I in love?
Ok, just think a bit: She kissed you and you kissed her, why did you kiss her? Was it because of the heat of the moment? No, it wasn’t. Was it because you felt pushed by her? No, it wasn’t. Was it because you wanted to feel what kissing a girl was? Maybe.
Twice? …Shit.
Wait, what about that guy she was with before? Were they dating? Not a chance. He was way too much of a jerk, I could tell. She’d had a lot of prospects before him, and each one of them was a pretty nice match, actually, but… this dude? What the hell? He wasn’t even good looking. He might be a cousin, right? Or a friend? A neighbor? God.
“Let’s just think, okay?”
“K.”
“If you were a couple, would you care about what other people say?”
“I have never cared about it; I wouldn’t care this time…”
“Will anything change between you two?”
“Well, no, I think. We would fuck now, but that’s all.”
“This is not a good time to play funny, you idiot”
“Okay… Sorry.”
“Would you be happy?”
“Totally happy…”
“Would it hurt if she found someone else?”
“It would hurt as hell…”
“What do you have to lose?”
“A friend?”
“Nothing.”
“Are you a lesbian?”
“I am a flaming homo.”
“No shit, Sherlock.”
WAIT. I am out of my mind. I am insane! I must be. Jesus Christ. I need to stop arguing with myself, I need to see a doctor… No, I better… I just need to take a rest, of everything and everyone, that’s it. I’ll just relax. I will sleep, watch TV, listen to music, read and eat like there is no tomorrow and… do stuff.
Sure I would disappear from society for a couple days, but that wouldn’t keep me from thinking about Ally for a single minute.
“And there she was, like a starry night.
Like a Ferris wheel, full of blue green eyes
And a heart of steel always on her own
Almost never real”
She was so perfect…
“When the night will begin
The pain, it won’t end even if she falls in love.
Back, you want to turn back, your heart will attack
Even if she falls in love.”
“Even If She Falls”, by Blink 182. I hadn’t related to or found any sense in the lyrics of that song until now.
“And there she was like a blade of ice
like a lonely road, clear as day, alive.
Always sharp and cold, always beautiful
I am such a fool.”
How was it I broke her heart? I loved her.
“Try to look in her eyes the light is just right
Even if she falls in love and it isn’t so bad it’s
driving you mad even if she falls in love.”
♠ ♠ ♠
God so there's the 3rd chapter xD Hope you like it! I think they get longer after this one ;3 Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment*--*