I Miss You, I'm So Sorry

Jack’s P.O.V.

Dan laughed heartily on Rian’s couch next to Jack, pointing at the television and spluttering as he tried to catch his breath. Jack started to laugh too, not because the shitty TV show was funny, but because watching Dan was way more amusing.

Everything that happened in the show seemed to have Dan entranced, whether it be the happiest moment or the saddest. He seemed to treat every situation passionately, and Jack found that endlessly fascinating.

Two weeks had passed since Dan and Jack had met, and it was safe to say that they had been getting closer and closer. Two weeks had also passed since Jack had last heard from Alex, but he was trying to not think about him.

The best part about Jack and Dan’s new found friendship was that they were totally on the same page about everything. It had been quickly established between the two that there was nothing more than friendship between them, but that was okay, because for Jack a close friend was exactly what he needed right now.

A day hadn’t passed since their meeting where the two hadn’t seen each other, and Jack honestly hadn’t been this happy for a long time. It had taken his mind off of Alex for a while, and even Rian had noticed the sudden change in Jack’s mood.

Being with Dan was so easy – it was like the two were born to be friends. They hadn’t found one thing that they hadn’t agreed on, and after only two weeks of knowing each other Jack knew everything about Dan, and vice versa.

A few days ago Dan had explained to Jack the current situation with his love life; how he was madly in love with his ex, but his ex no longer trusted him enough for them to get back together. As much as Jack was gutted about someone as lovely as Dan having to go through that, he was glad that there was someone else out there on the same wavelength.

Dan didn’t know about Jack’s current situation with Alex just yet – for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to talk about it. He was sure it had something to do with the fact that explaining it to someone else would make the fact that Alex doesn’t want him even more real. He knew Dan wouldn’t judge him, but Jack still didn’t really want to talk about it.

Dan pulled Jack out of his thoughts by literally falling off the couch from laughing too much, and the looking up at Jack with tears of laughter and glee in his eyes. Jack laughed at the sight of him as Dan spluttered and tried to form coherent words whilst pointing at the television.
“How have I never seen this programme before?!”

“Because the only people who watch it are the stay-at-home mothers who have nothing else to watch while they’re ironing?” Jack replied, rolling his eyes as Dan hoisted himself back onto the couch and planted himself so close to Jack that he was practically on his lap.

“Well regardless, it’s fucking amazing. I love it.”
“It’s Desperate Housewives Dan, it’s meant to be dramatic not hilarious.”

Dan was just about to reply when the living room door was flung open, startling himself and Dan. Rian was stood there with a smile on his face, and Jack was kind of surprised to see him because he was sure Rian had gone out, but he threw Rian a wave regardless.
“Hey Dan. Jack have you seen my cell anywhere?”

“Nope, sorry. You want me to call it?”

Rian sighed and rubbed his face tiredly, and Jack watched as Dan tried to conspicuously go back to listening to Desperate Housewives on the television.
“Nah it’s fine, I’ve probably left it at Cassadee’s or something. I’ll leave you two to it shall I?”

He spoke the last sentence with a smirk and a wink, before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Jack sighed exasperatedly; no matter how many times Jack had told him that they weren’t, Rian refused to believe that the two of them weren’t fucking.

The end credits rolled on the television, and the always energetic Dan jumped to his feet and dragged a slightly dazed Jack up with him. Jack often found it difficult to keep up with this guy at times.

“Coffee.”
He didn’t say it as a question, more as a statement, and Jack really didn’t have it in him to argue with the man.

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“Ummm I’ll have… A triple caramel skinny latte with extra of those chocolaty sprinkle things.”

“Dan you asshole I can’t remember all that, you’re gonna have to come with me.”

Dan rolled his eyes and stood up from the booth in which he had plonked himself down, and dumped his jacket in Jack’s arms.
“I’ll get them both, you save our seat.”

Jack nodded and grinned at him before chucking Dan’s jacket on the other side of the booth. He chose to sit on the side where the door was in clear view, because for some reason he liked to be able to see people coming and going. It made him feel relaxed.

Jack had been in this coffee shop a fair few times when he had used to live round here, what with Jack spending literally his whole teenage life with Alex and Alex being a coffee addict. It was strange being back in here, especially as the last time he had sat in this coffee shop things had been very different.

Jack thanked every god as Dan walked back over to their seat, because if Jack had been left alone with his thoughts any longer he was sure he would have ended up putting himself in a bad mood. But the second Dan flashed Jack his bright smile, carrying two coffee cups in his hands, Jack felt at ease once again.

For some reason Dan decided to sit right next to Jack on the booth rather than sit on the empty one opposite, but Jack said nothing. Honestly, it was nice to have some human contact every now and again. So when Dan rested his head on Jacks shoulder, Jack shrugged him off and opted to wrap his arm around the slightly smaller man instead.

They drank their drinks in silence, something that was unusual for them, because normally by now Dan would be filling it with pointless chit chat or the latest gossip. But there was something about the way he was clinging to Jack’s side, and the silence coming from his end of the chair that had worried.
“You alright buddy?”

Dan lifted his head from Jack’s embrace and looked over his shoulder to the other side of the coffee shop, before shaking his head and burying it back in Jack’s shoulder. When he spoke his voice was muffled by Jack’s t shirt, and Jack had to lean down a little to hear him speak.
“That’s my ex over there.”

His curiosity got the better of him as he turned around in his chair, scanning the room before his eyes landed on the only person Dan could be talking about. Everyone else in the shop was either too old or too young, so he guessed it was the guy in the blue hoodie sat with a girl about their age.

He was nice looking that was for sure, but most definitely not the type that Jack had thought Dan would go for. His beard and hair were borderline scruffy, and there was a very small amount of podge on his stomach and arms. He looked more cute and cuddly rather than hot and sexy.

Jack turned back around to where Dan was biting his lip and looking like he was holding back tears. Without questioning anything Jack opened his arms and Dan flopped down into them gratefully, sighing into the crook of Jack’s neck.

“Who’s he with?”
“That’s his sister Elissa, they’re really close.”

Jack nodded and decided it may be best to not ask any more questions, so he opted to rub Dan’s arm in what he hoped was a comforting manner. Dan sat up, throwing Jack and apologetic and grateful smile as he did so.

As if on cue Josh and Elissa walked past Jack and Dan’s table, and Josh just so happened to glance behind him as they walked past. Seeing Dan made his stop dead, and Jack quickly withdrew his arm from around Dan’s shoulder, not wanting to fuel the fire any more.

But Josh didn’t look angry at the sight of Dan, in fact there was something very loving about the way he was looking at him. But the joy in his eyes faded as quickly as it had been there, and it was masked by a blank expression.

“Josh…”
Dan voice broke the tense eye contact that they had been upholding, and for some reason Jack felt really uncomfortable, like he was interrupting a hugely intimate moment between the two. Joh nodded his head politely at Dan in greeting.

“Long time no see Dan.”
“I know, it’s been too long Joshy.”

By this point Elissa was tugging on the elbow of Josh’s hoodie, trying to pull him away while hissing not-so-quietly in his ear.
“Come on Josh, you don’t want to be getting mixed up with him again.”

Josh seemed to be having an inner battle, because he was looking between Dan and his sister with a conflicted expression. Dan started to stand up and finally Elissa won, successfully pulling Josh away and out the door of the shop.

Dan flopped back down in his seat cursing, and Jack did the only thing he could think to do to comfort his friend. He pulled the slightly smaller man onto his lap and kissed his forehead as a few tears slipped down Dan’s cheeks, and they sat like that for the rest of the day.

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Alex’s P.O.V.

Alex sighed quietly to himself as he heard the front door open, signalling Craig’s return to Alex’s apartment. Alex had been enjoying the time he had been having to himself while Craig went out for coffee, even if it was only for a couple of minutes.

Craig entered the kitchen with a smile and he pecked Alex on the lips as he placed both their cups down on the table, before sitting down opposite Alex.

“Thanks babe.”
Alex smiled falsely as he spoke, and he sometimes wondered if Craig ever saw through the act that Alex put on for him. All the kisses, the cuddles, the sex; all of it was forced and emotionless on Alex’s part. Honestly, he was surprised that Craig hadn’t caught on yet.

He seemed blissfully ignorant however, because he sipped at his coffee happily whilst looking at Alex and grinning. Alex took a sip too, and smiled back at Craig so that he wouldn’t raise suspicion.

“Oh hey, when I was waiting in the line I saw your friend sat in one of the booths.”
“Hmmm?” Alex wasn’t even bothering to hide his disinterest anymore, but Craig didn’t seem to notice and carried on speaking anyway.

“Yeah it was… Um… What was his name? It was…”
“Describe him?” Alex suggested. He wasn’t really very interested at all, but he was just asking questions to humour Craig for a little while.

“Umm… He’s like kinda pale, black hair, really skinny and tall… massive nose.”

That sparked Alex’s interest immediately. His head snapped up to look Craig in the eyes, the mention of Jack making him thirsty for more information.

“Oh you mean Jack? What was he up to?” Alex was trying to sound like he was just making casual conversation, when really he was itching to know every little detail about him.

“I dunno… I mean apart from getting real cosy with some blonde guy he wasn’t really doing much.”

Alex felt his blood run cold. He swallowed the lump in his throat and quirked an eyebrow at Craig, as though he didn’t really care but wanted to know anyway.

“Yeah I couldn’t really see them very well, but it looked like they were getting in on in the corner. I dunno why the blonde guy was bothering with this Jack dude though, I mean he was drop dead gorgeous.”

Alex was far too sickened by the idea of Jack getting up close and personal with some gorgeous blonde guy to notice that Craig had just insulted Jack, but suddenly the words seemed to register in Alex’s brain.

“Don’t talk about him like that, he’s lovely.”
Alex didn’t want the words to come out as angry and defensive as they had, and Craig looked a little bit pissed off.

“I’m not saying he’s ugly, I’m just saying that this guy was like model material. Literally, he was like someone straight from a magazine.”

Alex felt worse and worse with every word Craig was speaking, and the sick feeling in his stomach seemed to intensify as Alex’s imagination got the better of him. Images of Jack being happy and cutesy with someone else made Alex want to vomit, and for a second he started to feel light headed.

Craig waved a hand in front of his face, and Alex was snapped out of his thoughts as Craig spoke.
“Did you hear me? I just asked what you’re doing tomorrow.”

“Oh um… I said I’d go out with Rian and Cassadee.” Alex lied through his teeth, but Craig seemed to buy it and carried on rabbiting about his own plans for tomorrow. Alex had given up on listening if he was honest.

Much to Alex’s distaste his imagination brought him straight back to Jack and a blonde with no name. It was one of those nights, Alex decided, where he wouldn’t be getting any sleep.