I Miss You, I'm So Sorry

Alex’s P.O.V.

*two days later*

Alex let out a small sound of surprise as he was pushed down onto the sofa in his apartment, his and Jack’s lips still locked together. Alex smiled into the kiss as he pulled Jack down onto his lap, loving the way Jack wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him harder.

Alex let his hands wander up Jack’s t shirt and all over his back and chest, just skimming his hands over Jack’s warm skin and taking in every detail. Alex knew Jack’s body so well; he had admired it enough times to know. But being able to touch and feel it was something totally new.

And yeah, Alex felt bad about the fact that he had been in this exact position with Craig just yesterday, but what Jack didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him right? Besides, there was no way Alex could give up being like this with Jack just because of some dead end relationship that meant nothing to him.

Alex took note of the way Jack’s back would arch slightly when Alex dug his fingernails into his back, and the way he would whine quietly in the back of his throat when Alex bit down on his lip a little harder than necessary. Jack seemed to have a tiny little pain kink, and the mere thought had Alex pulling Jack even closer, desperate to find out more of the things that made him produce those incredibly sexy noises.

Jack’s lips continued to work softly against his own, before he started letting his hands wander in the same way Alex’s were. His tough was light, teasing and barely even there, so light that Alex wasn’t even sure whether his fingers were making contact with Alex’s skin. But even so it had Alex’s heartbeat accelerating and his skin coming up in goose bumps as he pressed his body closer, desperate to feel Jack’s touch on his skin.

Alex broke the kiss when Jack very lightly skimmed his fingertips down over Alex’s chest, going even more slowly as they travelled down his stomach. His fingers danced just above the waistband of Alex’s jeans, resting on the skin below and rubbing small circles with his thumbs. Alex started breathing heavily and his hips bucked up involuntarily, just waiting for Jack to make the next move.

But then Jack smirked at Alex, very slowly withdrawing his hands from Alex’s jeans and letting them crawl up his t shirt instead. Alex groaned, slightly embarrassed about what a huge effect one simple touch from Jack had on Alex’s body, because he was sure that Jack must be able to hear his heavy breathing, feel his accelerated heartbeat.

Alex wasn’t disappointed for long however, because when Jack connected their mouths again there was a whole new feel to the action. While the kiss itself was slow and sensual, the way Jack’s fingertips were kneading the bare skin on Alex’s back had Alex gasping, in such a state of bliss that he was barely even able to kiss back properly.

It was like a sensory overload in Alex’s brain, because the way Jack had wrapped his legs around the small of Alex’s back to bring their hips closer made his thoughts incoherent, plus the way he was massaging Alex’s back whilst kissing him deeper than Alex had ever been kissed in his entire life.

Everything felt hazy and blissful as he lifted a trembling hand to rest on Jack’s cheek, holding him in place as he attempted to get the message to his brain telling him to put more effort into the kiss. But it was so difficult, because every swipe of Jack’s tongue against his own had Alex’s mind clouded.

Alex let out a whine of disappointment when Jack’s lips were removed from his own, but when Jack ducked his head down to suck and bite at Alex’s collarbone Alex wasn’t complaining at all. There was a small voice in the back of his mind telling him that getting a hickey off of Jack wouldn’t be the best idea in the world, but there was another voice shouting over that one, telling him that this felt far too good to stop.

With one final peck to what Alex assumed was now an angry red mark on his collarbone, Jack lifted his head up and looked at Alex with bashful eyes and a slight blush tinting his usually ivory cheeks.

“Holy shit that was… We should do that more often.”

Jack laughed cutely, his eyes casting downwards as he started to shit off of Alex’s lap as though he was embarrassed. Alex wrapped both arms round his tiny waist to prevent him from going anywhere, before giving him a light peck on the forehead and sighing contentedly when Jack cuddled closer to him, burying his head in the crook of Alex’s neck.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

“That was the shittiest film I have ever seen.”

Alex jolted awake as Jack spoke, before realising that the end credits were now rolling on the television screen in front of them. Jack twisted around to look at Alex from where he was resting in between Alex’s legs, giving him an accusing look as he started to speak again.

“You fell asleep didn’t you?”

Alex pressed a tiny feather light peck to Jack’s lips just because he could, before snuggling even closer into the back of his body.

“Guilty. But it’s not my fault. The film was terrible and you’re warm and comfy to cuddle.”

Alex spoke directly into Jack’s ear, before grazing his lips over his earlobe, taking note of the way Jack shivered noticeably when he did so. Jack started to squirm in Alex’s lap, before Alex realised that he was trying to pull his phone from the pocket of his too tight jeans. He looked at the screen and sighed, then turned around so that he was now straddling Alex and so that he could speak to him properly.

“I should probably get going soon; I’ve already made plans for tonight.”

Alex was sure that Jack must have noticed the way his lips turned downwards slightly, because he checked the time again whilst looking rather guilty as he did so.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going round Dan’s.”

Alex would be lying if he said that he didn’t feel a slight twinge of jealousy at that. Seeing the way Jack and Dan acted around each other at Rian’s party the other night had done nothing to put his mind at rest either. Was it really necessary for Dan to sit on Jack’s lap and cling to his hand all night?

“Oh… So what do you and Dan get up to when you see him?”

“Not much really… We watch a couple of films, order food… I normally end up staying overnight.”

Alex nodded stiffly at the ending of that sentence, noticing the way Jack arched an eyebrow suspiciously.

“So where do you sleep when you stay over?”

Jack raised both eyebrows at that, obviously confused as to why Alex was taking such an interest in Jack and Dan’s friendship.

“Umm… Well normally I sleep in with him, but sometimes we both fall asleep on the couch. But his bed is like super comfy, so I try to avoid falling asleep while the film is on. Why are you asking so many questions anyway?”

Alex remembered back to the night when he asked Jack if he and Dan had had sex, and then inwardly shuddered when he remembered that Jack’s answer had been yes. He couldn’t dictate who Jack could and couldn’t sleep with obviously, but he still hated the idea of Jack going and sleeping in the same bed as another guy tonight.

“I’m just taking an interest in your life Jacky, is that such a bad thing?”

“Do you think me and Dan are fucking or something?” Jack asked bluntly.

Alex opened his mouth, then closed it again, then looked down and shrugged his shoulders.

“Well you did say that you’d had sex with him before.” Alex pointed out, still not quite meeting Jack’s eye as he spoke.

“Well I’m still single remember, so technically I can do whatever and whoever I like.”

Alex pressed his lips together into a thin line, watching carefully as Jack got up off his lap and straightened out his clothes. Sighing, Alex vaguely wondered why he and Jack always seemed to end up arguing every time things were going well between them.

Alex stood up too, walking Jack to the front door where Jack opened it himself and turned back to talk to Alex.

“Well bye then.”

“Bye.”

Jack walked off down the corridor then, and Alex watched as he went, having an internal battle as he watched Jack’s figure retreating down the hall.

“Fuck it.” He muttered, pulling to door not quite closed before taking off down the corridor to where Jack was. He grabbed him by the wrist and spun him round, planting a gentle kiss on his unsuspecting lips before letting go again.

The kiss had only lasted a couple of seconds at the most, and it was the simplest press of the lips, but it seemed to have done the trick because when Jack pulled back again he was smiling. Alex reached forward and placed his hand on Jack’s cheek, gently stroking the skin with his thumb as he spoke to Jack again.

“That was a better goodbye.”

Jack rolled his eyes, taking Alex’s hand that was on his cheek and holding it in his own. With one last fleeting glance, Jack pressed his lips to the palm of Alex’s hand, before letting it go and allowing it to drop back down to Alex’s side.

Alex watched as he started to walk away again, and without looking behind him, Jack called out down the hall to Alex. “See you soon Gaskarth.”

Alex smiled to himself, not moving until Jack disappeared completely round the corner before he started to walk back to his apartment, the idea of seeing Jack soon causing butterflies in his stomach.