I Miss You, I'm So Sorry

Jack’s P.O.V.

“So… Care to spill the beans about you and Alex?”

Jack let his head loll to the side on Dan’s sofa so that he could look at the blonde man beside him.

“Well… I don’t really know anything myself to be honest.”

“Is he still with his boyfriend?”

“Yeah.”

Dan made a noise of disgust, before putting down the bowl of crisps he was holding and turning so that he could face Jack properly, looking like he was about to go on one of his massive rants.

“You know what? If he can’t break up with his precious boyfriend for someone as amazing as you then that dude needs his head checked. Not only has he admitted to not loving him, but he is also a complete asshole for having two people on the go at the same time. You deserve better than that Jack.”

Jack sighed, knowing that Dan was right. It was kinda depressing that Alex hadn’t even considered dumping Craig for Jack, and it was a thought that Jack had been trying to avoid for a while. Before Jack had the chance to say anything more though, Dan was speaking again, gesturing wildly with his hands as he did so.

“And I’m not saying all this to plant a seed of doubt in your mind, because it would be obvious to a blind man how much that guy loves you. But regardless, that doesn’t give him the right to treat you like shit.”

Jack rolled his eyes at Dan’s over dramatized version of events.

“He doesn’t treat me like shit Dan, he’s a good guy at heart. He’s just overly cautious is all.”

“But he can’t seriously think it’s acceptable to treat you and his boyfriend like this? Surely?”

Jack had to agree there, what Alex was doing was kind of scummy. But that still didn’t stop Jack from coming back.

“The only thing that really pisses me off is when he gets all jealous.”

“He gets jealous? About what?”

Jack recoiled slightly- he should have known that Dan would want every minor detail to do with Jack’s love life. He would have been better off trying to avoid the subject in the first place.

“Well for example, he was really weird about me coming round here tonight. He’s like convinced that we’re fucking or something.”

“Son of a bitch.” Dan muttered darkly, grabbing the remote and muting the television. “So you can’t come round here and fuck me but he can go and sex up his boyfriend every night?”

Jack visibly flinched and inwardly cringed at the thought, trying to push the image from his brain as quickly as he could. Dan noticed Jack’s reaction and gave him an apologetic look, patting him on the shoulder before carrying on talking.

“All I’m saying is that this dude seems to think he can get away with murder! You should stand up for yourself Jack!”

“I will, I’m just having a hard time thinking about how I should do that.”

Dan’s face lit up suddenly, and Jack could practically see a light bulb flick on over his head as his face contracted with concentration. When he spoke again there was an undertone of excitement in his voice.

“What if… What if we turn the tables round on him? See how he likes being two timed?”

Jack considered the idea, before pulling a sceptical expression and rubbing his chin thoughtfully. For all Jack knew Alex might not even care.

“I don’t know Dan… Besides, how am I gonna find a boyfriend in less than a day?”

Dan looked at him like he was the biggest fool on the planet for a second, before rolling his eyes impatiently and carrying on speaking excitedly.

“I’ll be your pretend boyfriend you halfwit!”

“Wont Josh mind?”

“No of course he won’t silly; I’ll just explain everything to him.”

Jack remained unconvinced with Dan’s plan of action. It all seemed a bit desperate for his liking.

“I don’t know Dan; don’t you think this plan is a little… weird?”

“No.”

Jack looked at Dan for a couple of seconds, seriously considering telling Dan that his plan was shitty. But when Jack thought about it seriously, what did he have to lose? The way things were going he was going to lose Alex anyway, so he might as well give it a go.

“Okay… If everything gets fucked up I’m blaming you though.”

Dan just grinned in reply.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Alex’s P.O.V.

*the next day*

“If I wasn’t going to my grandparents today I’d be making you take me out. We haven’t been out together for ages!”

Alex sat down in the kitchen with his mobile still pressed to his ear, listening to his boyfriends insistent whining as he scrambled through his brain for an excuse to put the phone down.

“Yeah I know; we can go out next weekend if you want.”

Both Alex and Craig knew that Alex wasn’t telling the truth when he said that. He was just saying it to stop Craig’s whinging and humour him for a little while, at least until he thought of an excuse to cancel whatever plans they might have made.

Craig sighed from the other end of the phone, but Alex pretended to be oblivious to Craig’s dissatisfaction.

“Right well I’ve got to go now, my grandma is expecting me pretty soon. Bye bye baby, I love you!”

“Love you too, bye.”

Alex quickly pressed the red button on his phone and hung up before Craig had the chance to change his mind, then he sighed with relief the minute the call was ended. Craig wore him out emotionally every time he was around.

Alex toyed with his mobile that was still rested in his hands, his fingers itching to scroll through the contacts until he got to the number he had wanted to ring all day. A glance at the clock on the wall told him that it was just gone midday; Jack would be home from Dan’s by now surely?

Plus with Craig out of the way all day, what better time would there be to have Jack round?

When Alex reached Jack’s name in the long list, he hesitated only for a second before he pressed the call button. Just as Alex thought it was about to ring out, he answered on the last ring.

“Hello?”
The voice that rung through the speakerphone certainly wasn’t Jack’s, and it wasn’t Rian’s either.

“Hi… Jack?”

“No this is Dan.”

Alex pressed his lips together and breathed in deeply through his nose, trying not to lose his temper or say something stupid to this guy. He knew that Jack would never forgive him if he did.

“Right… Well could you pass me on to Jack please?”

“I don’t know he’s still in bed… He might be awake by now though, I’ll go and check. I was just making him breakfast!”

Alex wasn’t sure if Dan was deliberately trying to be irritating by rubbing in the fact that he was doing something nice for Jack, but he was being irritating nonetheless.

There was a rustling on the other end of the phone, and the sound of a door being opened, before Dan was speaking again but not to Alex this time.

“Jacky… There’s someone on the phone for you.”

Alex flinched when Dan used the nickname he had for Jack, but managed to hold in his distaste with some difficulty.

There was a scuffle on Jack’s end, and what sounded like the phone being dropped on the floor. Alex’s stomach curled in on itself when he heard Jack’s laughter and Dan’s girly giggle, before the phone was picked up and Alex could hear Dan loud and clear once again.

“I was just trying to give you your phone; you didn’t need to pull me on top of you! Goofball.”

Alex felt so sick to his stomach by this point that when Jack’s voice rung through the phone, Alex couldn’t even reply. He guessed that Jack had looked at the caller ID because he kept on saying Alex’s name, but Alex remained silent.

“Alex? Alexxx? Aaalex? ALEX? Alex?” His voice became quieter as he pulled the phone further from his ear. “Hm. He must have gone.”

“Oh well, you can ring him back later, but for now we can-“

The line went dead as either Jack or Dan hung up the phone, and Alex sat there stunned into sickened silence alone in his kitchen, with nothing but the horrible images of Dan and Jack to keep him company.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Jack frowned when Dan took the phone from his hands and hung up the phone, feeling slightly guilty.

“I think that may have been a bit harsh.”

Dan brushed it off, chucking Jack’s phone back to him and perching on the edge of the bed.

“It was no worse than what he does to you. You’ll have him eating out of the palm of your hand in no time, you mark my words.”