My Heart Has Lost All Hope

(RONNIE'S POINT OF VIEW)

I glanced up from my menu to see Vanessa walking into the diner, she looked absolutely stunning, and I can't believe I didn't notice all the tattoos she had before this moment. I couldn't make out what they were from this far away, but she had quite a few I could see. 

"hey guys" she said as she slid in the booth across from me Derek and Ron. 

Everyone was looking her up and down. Especially Jacky , and I couldn't help but feel angry... Almost jealous, she truly was a beautiful girl .

"Ronnie ?" she smiled waving her hand in front of my eyes

"oh I'm sorry, hey Vanessa ! Do you feel more comfortable now that you changed?" she snapped me out of my thought reminding me to say hello. 

"I do" she smiled as the waitress came over to take our orders.

"what will everyone be having this evening" the blonde haired woman asked us all. 

I couldn't stop staring at Vanessa her light bruising around her face and cut open lip taunted me, I felt responsible for getting this beautiful girl injured, and I couldn't help but think she was lying about feeling better. She looked so sad when the waitress gawked at her face as she ordered. 

"I'll have the sweet potato pancakes with sunny side eggs" she gave the waitress a forced smile then quickly stared back down at the table as she slid the menu to Ryan who seemed to notice the waitress making Vanessa uncomfortable as well. 

"what would you like sir? " the waitress winked at me. Trying to flirt I guess. 

"I'll have The same as her" I said and grabbed Vanessa's hand which made the waitress give out a huff , Ryan noticed and chuckled under his breath.

"I can't stand girls like that" I said as Ryan watched the waitress walk away

"why not Ronnie she's pretty cute" Ryan said still checking her out. 

"The way she looked at Nessa was outrageous " I said giving the waitress a mean look as she grabbed our drinks 

"I noticed that too. " Jacky said with irritation in his voice

"it's fine guys, really." Vanessa explained  hiding her face when the waitress started passing out the drinks.

"Nessa, it's not , I feel bad enough about the condition your in, no one has the right to judge you like that" I seethed loud enough for the waitress to hear when she finished passing out the drinks

"thank you Ronnie" she smiled , her smile was the cutest thing I've ever seen. 

"it's true Vanessa" Ron added, the guys were already so protective of her.

"so Ronnie you like sweet potato pancakes to?" Vanessa asked me taking a sip of her water.

"They are one of my favorites actually" I smiled, she blushed a little trying to hide it. 

"Stop it Nessa don't hide from me" I said grabbing her hand once more, Jacky gave me a questioning look. Even I don't know why I was so affectionate to this girl, and why can't I stop calling her Nessa? 

We all got our food and had some light dinner conversation , Vanessa was happiest I've seen her since our night together, she was laughing, her laugh made me smile it was a wonderful sound, and she was  getting along with the rest of the band very well. When we all finnished and paid we started walking to the bus but I noticed a 7-11 next door. 

"hey guys I'm gonna go pick up a few things next store, does anybody want anything?" I asked as Vanessa walked over to me and the guys all said no, and kept heading for the bus

" can I go with you ?" she gave me a begging look with those bright blue eyes of hers. 

"Of course Nessa" I smiled and put my arm over her shoulders and walked with her to the entrance. 

"I like that you call me that" she whispered. 

"Im glad, I was worried it may have bothered you" I looked over at her as she smiled to herself 

"not at all. No one has ever gave me a nickname before" she made her way through the doors as I held them open for her. 

"Do you want anything, it's on me I promise" I said following her down the candy isle. 

"you sure Ronnie ? " she was so damn cute and innocent. I was more than happy to take care of her, will she ever accept that? 

"Nessa honestly anything you ever need this whole tour it's no problem" I smiled as she grabbed a carmelo and some creamsicle flavored gum. 

"Ronnie is it to much to ask for you to get me a couple packs of marbolro menthol lights ? I don't want to ask to much" she said setting Her things on the counter.

"no problem at all Nessa, I came over here just for a couple packs myself, but I prefer newports" I smiled and got all our stuff and made our way back to the bus.

"Thank you so much Ronnie, I cant wait to see what warped tour is all about" she said giving me a hug as we were entering the bus and I was setting her stuff in her bunk. 

Her hug made me feel warm and happy, a type of happy I haven't felt in a long time, this girl was starting to get to me. She looked stunning in those tight red shorts, and her hair falling loosely around her shoulders. Giving me the attention of her amazing blue eyes looking into mine sent shock waves through my body. 

"do you want to sleep in your bunk tonight or the back room until you feel better ? " I asked her as she sat at the edge of her bunk. 

"Will you lay with me in the back until I fall asleep? I fell asleep so much easier when you were there last time..." she blushed looking in every direction but at me. 

"Id be honored" I smiled as we walked to the back of the bus.

She crawled under the bed covers and slowly laid her face into the pillow trying to not hurt her eye. I took off my shirt and my pants leaving my boxers on and crawled in beside her, putting my arms around her waist, I never share a bed with girls... But she felt so comfortable as she nuzzled into my chest 

"Ronnie?" she asked through a sleepy yawn

"Yes Nessa ?" I asked and held her closer

"will you be here when I wake up?" she asked looking up at me from my chest .

"I will. Now get some sleep, I have a lot to show you tomorrow" I smiled and kissed her on her cheek. 

She closed her eyes and I felt her breathing lighten a few minutes later, letting me know she had fallen asleep. For the first time I actually wanted to wake up next to a girl... And I barely knew her. 

Vanessa... You are so much like me, and that scares me. 

I felt myself drift into a deep sleep with her on my mind.